“This! What is this thing?!”
Illucy gasped in shock, staring at the contents of the book.
She raised her hand to cover her eyes, but the wide gaps between her fingers only made it seem like she was trying to hide something without really succeeding.
Flipping to the third and fourth pages, the drawings became even more abstract.
Two people were fighting fiercely.
To roughly describe it:
😄
😩
↓
😄
🥵
↓
🤤
🥵
↓
😩
🙄
↓
☺️I love you☺️Me too
Yes, that was basically the content.
Illucy stared in stunned silence.
“Is… is this correct?”
Yes, absolutely.
With clear annotations beside the images, Illucy finally understood what the drawings truly depicted.
She also realized where that strange feeling inside her had come from… It seemed the genders in the scene she had just witnessed were different.
But the way they fought was pretty much the same.
“The Saintess is…!” Illucy suddenly cried out, covering her mouth.
“Clatter~”
The book slipped from her hands and fell to the floor.
So that’s how it was?
That warm feeling she sensed wasn’t because she was about to get her period, but because…
At that thought, Illucy pressed her palm against her face.
“H-how could I have such thoughts about the Saintess… The Saintess is the purest, the most supreme. H-how could I?! Having these thoughts goes against the Church’s rules…”
She fell into deep guilt and confusion.
If she had these thoughts, would she be despised by Liang Lai, the Third Saintess? If Liang Lai found out what she was thinking, would she be driven away immediately?
Illucy’s mind raced with wild speculations.
But, but Dolosa and the others were also doing those things, right? That was also against Church regulations… So why didn’t Liang Lai stop them?
Just then, Illucy finally noticed something was off.
The Saintess always lay motionless in bed, as if deeply asleep.
No matter how those three manipulated her, she showed no expression, no movement—like a lifeless doll slumped on the bed.
“So, is it possible that they used some kind of potion to make the Saintess unconscious, and even if she woke up, she wouldn’t remember what happened to her…?”
At that thought, everything Illucy had seen suddenly made sense.
“Yes!”
She clapped her hands excitedly.
“How could the Saintess ever break the Church’s rules to do something like that? If the Church caught her, the punishment would be severe! So, the Saintess must have been forced. Tomorrow, I will definitely tell her…”
Her words trailed off.
Illucy wondered: if Liang Lai took this seriously, would she never have a chance to be close to the Saintess like Dolosa, Asterys, and Delucia? The thought made her heart feel hollow, as if a piece was missing.
She placed her hand over her chest, feeling a knot of discomfort there.
Suddenly, she didn’t feel like reporting it to Liang Lai anymore.
Illucy crouched down and quietly picked up the book from the floor.
She read it again.
“Although the book shows a man and a woman, women probably have their own ways—just like Dolosa and Asterys. Where there’s a will, there’s a way… Also, I don’t feel so strange when reading this book, but whenever I recall what happened earlier in the Saintess’s room, my heart races.”
Illucy silently put the book back in its corner and tiptoed back to her room.
But she couldn’t fall asleep.
“Tomorrow… should I report to the Saintess or not? If I do, I’ll definitely become a thorn in the side of those three… But if I don’t tell the Saintess, what if she gets punished?”
She tossed and turned.
“But… seeing how practiced they are, this can’t be the first time. It must have happened many times before. Since the Church hasn’t caught them yet, maybe it won’t catch them even if it happens a few more times?”
Her eyes lit up.
“In other words, maybe if I did the same thing, the Church wouldn’t find out either!”
Thinking this, she suddenly sat up, feeling the urge to run to Liang Lai and ask for more.
But just as the thought sparked, it was immediately extinguished.
“No, no!”
Illucy lay back down on the big bed.
“The Saintess would definitely refuse me. Dolosa and Asterys must have used some potion, taking advantage of the Saintess’s unconscious state to do those things… If I ask, I’ll be rejected, and even disliked! The Saintess surely has no such thoughts…”
Her voice grew increasingly despondent.
After much agonizing thought, Illucy finally came up with a somewhat workable solution.
What if… she went to Dolosa, Asterys, and Delucia and told them she wanted to join them? Would they give her a chance?
Though Dolosa usually seemed intimidating, she appeared to be the type who was tough on the outside but soft on the inside.
If Illucy showed weakness, maybe it would work? And if showing weakness didn’t work… maybe she could threaten them a little?
The thought barely formed before her timid self interrupted.
“No, no.”
She never dared to threaten others—not once.
That night, Illucy didn’t close her eyes even once and stayed awake all night.
The next day, Liang Lai felt a sore throat and a slight numbness in her mouth, though she didn’t know why…
“Could it be I’m coming down with a cold?”
She murmured as she went downstairs, only to see Illucy sitting on the sofa, her eyes vacant and dark circles heavy beneath them.
“Ah!”
Liang Lai jumped in surprise.
“Xiao Xi, what’s wrong? You look exhausted. Insomnia?”
Liang Lai asked with concern.
Illucy nodded slightly.
“Yeah, I just had a nightmare last night… Mom, don’t worry about me. You’re already running late for your daily check-in.”
She was referring to the daily ritual.
Liang Lai glanced at the time and saw she really was running late.
“I’ll be off then! Xiao Xi, if anything comes up, tell me when I get back!”
“Tell you…?” Illucy watched Liang Lai’s retreating figure and her thoughts drifted back to Dolosa.
This matter absolutely could not be told to the Saintess.
“So, should I tell them that I want to join them?”