Illucy’s fingers unconsciously twisted the edge of her skirt, the fabric wrinkling into a ball in her palm.
She stared at the cracks in the kitchen tiles, the images from last night refusing to fade from her mind.
“Saying ‘Let me join you’ outright definitely won’t work…”
She bit the inside of her lip, tasting a hint of rust.
Dolosa always glanced at her like she was a bug, while Asterys smiled warmly—but last time when she handed her the black tea, she deliberately brushed Illucy’s wrist, cold enough to nearly spill the cup.
Her breakfast cereal had turned into mush. Illucy poked the bottom of the bowl with her spoon, recalling how Delucia spilled the sacred oil last week and yet didn’t get scolded.
“Sigh, I guess I’m probably the least loved child by the Saintess…”
She sulked, laying her head on the table, finding it hard to swallow the food in her mouth.
But after all this thinking, she still couldn’t let go😭—couldn’t let go of what she saw with Liang Lai.
Every day she thought about hurting herself just to get Liang Lai’s attention and love, but besides companionship, it seemed she hadn’t gotten anything else… only some light kisses, and not even on the lips.
Illucy had woken up too early today, so the other kids hadn’t gotten up yet.
When they came downstairs to eat, they found Illucy already sitting there dazed, almost petrified.
“What’s wrong with her?” Dolosa muttered.
She was feeling quite refreshed today—after all, she had done something satisfying yesterday.
Illucy’s eyes followed Dolosa’s figure slowly as she moved about busily in the kitchen. One body bustling with activity, another pair of eyes intently tracking that busyness.
Dolosa, busy in the kitchen, felt like something was crawling on her back.
She glanced back quietly and caught Illucy’s unwavering gaze.
Startled, she shivered, nearly dropping the white bread in her hand.
“What the heck is this?!”
For the first time, Dolosa was scared by this shy little introvert.
She felt uneasy all over, wanting to turn around and scold her for staring nonstop, but then remembered how this girl often cried sincerely, so she swallowed the words.
She wasn’t in the habit of comforting anyone besides Liang Lai—well, except for those unlucky twins; if they cried, she’d give token consolation.
After all, they were comrades in a united front now (stubbornly protective).
Just as Dolosa finished making breakfast and was about to bring it to the table, Asterys and Delucia came downstairs.
They also noticed Illucy’s gaze—so clear, yet tinged with foolishness.
Asterys nudged Dolosa’s waist with her elbow.
“Hey, what’s going on between you two? Don’t tell me you’ve already started fighting this early in the morning?”
“What would I fight her about? And does she even look like someone who would argue?” Dolosa grumbled.
“I think it’s weird too. She’s been staring at me since I came downstairs, but I don’t know what she wants to say… I guess she’s trying to say something, or else why keep staring?”
“Well then, why don’t you ask her?” Delucia chimed in.
“Her personality looks like she keeps things bottled up. If you don’t ask, she’ll probably just keep it inside and keep staring at you with that look. Wouldn’t that be…?”
Hearing Delucia, Dolosa imagined Illucy following her everywhere she went, the gaze glued to her back. She shuddered deeply—just the thought was scary.
“Fine.”
Dolosa gritted her teeth in reluctant concession.
She brought her plate over and tapped the table lightly with her knuckles.
“Illucy, do you have something you want to tell me? If you want to say it, just say it—stop staring at me like that, it’s creepy.”
Dolosa looked thoroughly uncomfortable.
Illucy probably didn’t expect Dolosa to be so direct.
She froze for a few seconds, then started babbling, her little hands waving anxiously in the air, face flushing red.
Yeah, who could just blurt out, “I want to join you and play games with Liang Lai”? Even someone not socially anxious would probably struggle.
The other three fell silent, pondering her frantic gestures.
“Did something happen to her?” Delucia asked her sister.
“Who knows?” Asterys answered.
The three looked at Illucy in unison, waiting.
Eventually, Illucy calmed down and gave up. She lowered her head dejectedly and sighed heavily.
“I—I’m afraid if I say what I want to say now, you’ll be angry…”
She rolled her eyes and cautiously watched everyone’s reactions.
Dolosa looked expressionless and calm. She sliced a piece of white bread and popped it into her mouth, chewing twice.
“Oh, then don’t say it.”
Illucy: “…”
That was Dolosa—unless it was Liang Lai, she didn’t give way to others.
She only felt satisfied when someone was speechless at the table.
Sure enough, Illucy was trapped on the spot, and the atmosphere became awkward.
“Alright, just say it. If you say something that makes us angry, we’ll just take the breakfast upstairs. We won’t scold you.” Asterys tried to smooth things over, playing the good-natured role again.
Illucy stole a glance at Dolosa, who was still calmly chewing. Illucy took a deep breath, her small hands clenched into fists under the table, fingertips digging crescent shapes into her palms.
“I, I…”
She closed her eyes slowly and cheered herself on in her mind.
Strike while the iron is hot—don’t let courage fade, shout out the request!
“I! I want to join you!!” Illucy shouted loudly with her eyes closed, her voice echoing through the room.
The three stared at her in shock.
Dolosa, Asterys, and Delucia had never seen this poor little thing speak so loudly—it hurt their ears.
Yet, no one understood that vague “join” clearly.
“You…”
Dolosa hesitated to speak but was cut off by Illucy.
Still with eyes closed, Illucy opened her mouth wide, her spirit soaring:
“I saw everything last night! I saw all that you did! Yes, I watched secretly, but what I saw, I-I-I want to join you! Please, let me join you! I-I-I also want to…!!”
Everyone there was even more dumbfounded after that outburst.
When they finally recovered, besides shock, there was a hint of annoyance—especially from Dolosa.
“You, you…!” Dolosa’s hands trembled—not from fear, but anger.
“You were spying outside last night?!”
She looked at Asterys and Delucia in disbelief.
“Did you two notice anything?”
Delucia shook her head. “It was late at night, no one was around. Where would I even notice?”
True enough.
But now wasn’t the time for blame—there was a newcomer wanting to join them.
“Impossible!”
Dolosa slammed the table and glared at Illucy angrily.
She was already overwhelmed having to share the Saintess with Asterys and Delucia; how could she allow someone new to join?
“Absolutely not, I won’t allow it!”
Illucy had anticipated this reaction but had already said everything she wanted. There was no turning back now. The arrow was on the string, ready to shoot!
“But I’ve already seen everything,” she lifted her head bravely to meet Dolosa’s gaze, eyes filled with unprecedented determination.
“What if I told Liang Lai everything I saw? Also, I noticed this morning that Liang Lai’s throat feels bad. If I combine that with what you did last night and tell her everything?”
Silence filled the room.
No one expected timid, cowardly Illucy to make such a threatening statement.
“You…?”
Dolosa’s gaze darkened.
“Are you threatening me?”
Illucy met her eyes, trembling all over but refusing to look away.
“No, I’m not threatening you. I’m just asking to join you. I just… I love the Saintess too much, just like you all. I can feel your feelings, so I want to join you. Is that so wrong?”
“No!” Dolosa rejected her again, scratching her head irritably.
But just then, Asterys gently tugged Dolosa’s sleeve from under the table.
Dolosa looked at her in confusion.
“Dolosa, let’s go chat over there. Not here.”
The three left, and when they returned, Dolosa’s face no longer showed anger but a kind of resignation.
“Welcome to join us~” Asterys smiled warmly, reaching out her hand toward Illucy.
“One thing I can promise—tomorrow you’ll enjoy the same treatment as us~ Maybe… you can even get closer to the Saintess~”
They had already been holding it in too long.