When passion was at its peak.
My head spun as if I were drunk, and I didn’t even know where the strength came from—I suddenly pulled back the arms that had been clutching her back, intending to push Su Liumeng away from in front of me.
“You need to let go, I can barely breathe.” My voice was soft, just like my legs right now, utterly weak.
That suffocating sense of oxygen deprivation crept up my cheeks, making the girl before me look even more breathtakingly beautiful.
Su Liumeng seemed a little dazed, only reacting after a second.
“Are you still upset?” Su Liumeng took the initiative and carried me to the sofa.
“No.” I slowly lowered my lashes, hiding my emotions as well. “I’ll take good care of myself.”
I didn’t tell her the truth.
Just the thought of being alone later made my heart ache with an unspeakable loneliness.
I didn’t want her to worry, so I forced myself to smile, trying to make it not look too ugly.
Su Liumeng reached out and pinched my cheek. “Liar. You say you’re not sad, but you’re about to cry.”
“Who… is crying?” I couldn’t take her words anymore and swatted her hand away.
When her gentle fingertips touched my cheek and I listened to her even gentler words, I felt like my tears were about to break through.
So, I turned my head away, forcing myself not to look at her.
Su Liumeng sighed quietly and gently hugged me from the side.
She gazed at the girl before her, watching my delicate eyelashes tremble like tiny brushes.
My vision gradually blurred with mist, and my emotions grew fuzzy as well.
My heart felt empty, no longer steady in the slightest.
“I’m sorry.” Su Liumeng’s voice was choked.
Seeing Si Xinyan so sad, she couldn’t help but feel sad too.
Just like me, she was still only eighteen.
It was also her first time separating from someone she liked—how could she not feel the heartbreak of parting?
I secretly reached out and poked Su Liumeng’s cheek with my index finger. “Dummy, are you about to cry? I don’t have much strength left to comfort you.” Though that’s what I said, my actions were already comforting her.
I pursed my lips, trying to empty my mind as I nestled into her embrace.
Right now, I was just deceiving myself. If I didn’t think about what was coming, maybe it wouldn’t happen.
I was more like a turtle pulling into its shell, greedily enjoying this fleeting happiness.
This time.
I couldn’t bring myself to say I was a strong person anymore.
Maybe I wasn’t that strong after all.
Su Liumeng’s breathing was already uneven. I could feel her trying to steady her emotions.
Was she planning to cheer herself up before coming to comfort me?
Suddenly, I said seriously, “Su Liumeng, come to class with me, just for one day.”
Su Liumeng paused.
I quickly explained, “I just want to go to school with you. It’s been so long since I’ve felt that way.”
Su Liumeng smiled and ruffled my hair. “Why are you so anxious to explain? It’s not like I wouldn’t agree.”
“Mm.” I bit my lip softly, swallowing the last sentence.
I had been about to say, let’s savor the taste of youth one more time before it ends.
I was just afraid she’d think I wasn’t fit to go to class right now.
My youth was both short and long.
Su Liumeng’s traces were everywhere during my middle school days, but all we had was constant friction.
Now, my college life wasn’t lacking her footprints, but it was missing those little touches that would linger in my memory.
Even someone as cold as me could now yearn for romance.
Love is truly a magical thing—like an essential chemical element in life; even a tiny bit can bring about earth-shaking change.
“Xinxin, do you know what you look like right now?” Su Liumeng was on the sofa helping me comb my hair. How could I go out with messy hair?
“Like what?” I licked my lips and asked instinctively.
“Ethereal as music from heaven, delicate and pitiful, shy and enchanting.”
Su Liumeng’s words were so flowery and so blunt that I felt an urge to hit her.
“Stop it, don’t be so mushy.” I was speechless and wanted to give her a beating—who talks about others like this?
Am I really that good?
If anyone else heard, they’d think I was just bragging.
Sure enough, the next second, I punched Su Liumeng.
After her little interruption, my mood was successfully diverted and I didn’t think about what had just happened anymore.
Su Liumeng’s gentleness always came at just the right time, like a gentle spring rain nurturing my heart.
As I’ve said many times, she’s someone you can’t help but rely on.
Habit is a scary thing.
And I was already used to her meticulous care.
Maybe that’s why it hurt so much when she said she was leaving.
What followed was my anger, but really it was just to hide that moment of loneliness and panic.
For a second, I panicked, afraid she might never come back.
I stared at my fingertips, trying to put my feelings in order.
There were only a few days left. I didn’t want Su Liumeng to see me so down anymore. Maybe making her happy was my last little selfish wish.
I was greedy—I wanted her to remember my good side a little longer, to occupy a bit more space in her heart.
That way, no matter who she met, she’d always remember me and wouldn’t leave me alone at Beiqing Campus.
Su Liumeng’s hands finished the last step of braiding my hair.
I gently patted my cheeks, cursing my own crow’s mouth—why did I make it sound like it was our last meeting?
“What… are you doing?” Su Liumeng looked down and saw the little girl secretly patting her own face.
“Punishment.” I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond to her follow-up.
Anyway, don’t even think about asking what I’m thinking—I’ll never say it.
Su Liumeng chuckled lightly, not caring at all.
Little Yan was being raised more and more delicately by her.
That was a good thing—it meant she was being well protected.
Only flowers in a greenhouse could show off their fragility so freely.
A set of suitable hair accessories could always make someone even prettier.
Su Liumeng took out her treasured hairpieces and gently placed them on my head. I instinctively shook my now slightly heavier head. Su Liumeng’s voice was a little distorted, “Don’t move, I haven’t finished yet.”
I didn’t care and pouted. “My hair is already heavy enough, and now you’re putting on accessories. Why dress up so much just to go to class?” It was true—my hair had gotten so long and heavy, it was probably a kilo or two by now.
It was almost down to my waist—who would’ve thought I used to be a boy.
“This is different. My little princess has to be the prettiest in the room.” Su Liumeng retorted indignantly.
“And besides, it’s not heavy, just a few little beads.”
“Fine, whatever you say.” Now, whenever I sit for a while, I just want to lean on something. With Su Liumeng behind me, I could only slouch sideways on the sofa, letting her do whatever she wanted.
“How about… we just don’t go to class?” Su Liumeng suddenly said seriously.
“No way!” I sat up straighter than before, my tone unusually forceful. “I can skip tomorrow, but just for today, you have to go with me.”
It wasn’t just about fulfilling an obsession—I just wanted to spend a little more time with her.
If you want to call that romantic, then maybe doing this means there’ll be one less regret left unfulfilled.
Su Liumeng had no choice but to agree.
In the organic chemistry class, as Su Liumeng led me by the hand into the classroom, the air seemed to fall silent for a moment.
The young lady’s natural icy aura made her seem untouchable.
Even the strict substitute teacher rarely showed a smile.
Who knew how much of it was genuine.
“Si classmate, sit here, there’s a seat!” The glasses-wearing Jiangnan Girl waved at me with a smile.
Hearing her, Su Liumeng’s grip on my hand tightened considerably.
Still secretly jealous, huh? I stretched my fingers and gave her a moderate squeeze in return.
Su Liumeng let out a little hum, instantly brightening up.
The classroom had many seats in a row. Su Liumeng had me sit next to her while she took the aisle seat.
Humans love gossip—it’s in their nature. When Su Liumeng went to the restroom, the pressure in the area dropped, and the Jiangnan Girl finally dared to speak to me a second time.
Her eyes sparkled like stars as she asked, “Si classmate, what’s your relationship with Su classmate? She seems to dote on you so much. When you were reading just now, you didn’t even notice—someone in the class tried to sneak a look at you, but she glared them away.”
A quiet smile appeared on my lips. “Honestly, I can’t really say what kind of relationship we have.”
“Because… she hasn’t confessed to me yet…”
That’s right—she hasn’t confessed, so I can’t just call her my girlfriend.
I’m not thick-skinned enough, though I’ve thought about it plenty of times.
I really can’t figure out what’s going on in Su Liumeng’s head.
Thinking about it, I felt a little bit resentful.
“I can tell she really likes you, so don’t worry. If it comes down to it, you can take the initiative, too!” Her eyes shone even brighter, like she’d just heard the biggest gossip. “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else.”
With that, she giggled to herself, lost in who knows what thoughts.
I secretly smiled and wanted to tease her—she looked so sharp with glasses on, but in private she was like this.
After a few dozen seconds, the Jiangnan Girl looked conflicted, as if she was considering something. Then she glanced around, lowered her voice, and said, “Si classmate, you don’t look like you’re gaining weight. Is something wrong with your body? Maybe you should get a checkup at the hospital.” She didn’t sound mocking—just genuinely concerned.
I was wearing loose clothes today, plus a cloak. Unless someone stared at my belly, it’d be hard to notice any changes.
“It’s probably just eating too much. I’ll pay attention.”
The classroom’s quiet atmosphere finally registered with me.
I subconsciously looked back and saw Su Liumeng standing in the aisle. Who knows how long she’d been eavesdropping.
I suddenly felt complicated.
I hoped she’d heard what I said at the start.
But at the same time, I was a little timid—hoping she hadn’t heard too much.
Su Liumeng’s expression didn’t change, as if she hadn’t heard anything. After she returned to her seat, she just helped me tidy my hair.
A faint sense of loss lingered in my heart.
In the end, I still hoped she’d heard.
Did she—hear or not?
Under the desk,
A slender, jade-like hand took my left hand in her palm.
I instinctively looked up and met Su Liumeng’s eyes, deep as a cold lake.
In their reflection, I saw a hint of loneliness in myself.
Forget it, at a time like this, why dwell on unhappy things?
I forced a little smile, hiding my disappointment deep inside.
Maybe—
She really didn’t hear.
Or maybe Su Liumeng had her own reasons. Why should I push so hard?
*****
Night.
Su Liumeng led me on a stroll through the campus.
On the tree-lined avenue, our shadows stretched out under the lights, then gradually overlapped.
“I’m not leaving for good. As soon as I finish handling the Su Family’s matters, I’ll come right back to you. By then, there won’t be so many people holding me back, and I’ll be able to do more of what I want.”
I understood the Su Family’s rules and nodded in cooperation.
Su Liumeng cupped my face and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
“Mm, you don’t have to explain.” I was still stubborn, but my heart was sweet.
“I can take care of myself. You don’t need to worry.”
Su Liumeng ignored my words and continued, “I’ve arranged everything for after I leave. Just live your life as usual.”
“There are two options now: Shangguan Xiyue can look after you, or the auntie I hired.”
I paused and said slowly, “Let’s go with the auntie. I trust the person you picked.”
Su Liumeng gave a wry smile. “What’s wrong, don’t even trust your closest sister?”
“No.” I lowered my gaze.
At that moment, I finally understood what Shangguan Xiyue meant.
“Two people living under one roof for a long time—it’s just not right.”
Su Liumeng pulled me along as we walked. “I wouldn’t think anything of it. I trust you completely.”
Hearing that, I blinked cutely. “You trust me that much?”
Su Liumeng giggled. “Shangguan Xiyue isn’t even your type. Why would I see her as a rival?”
She joked, “Baby, you’re so silly—how can you be this cute?”
I gritted my teeth and said seriously, “I do use my brain, thank you.”
“Yeah, you use it—just not all of it.”
Great, my fists were itching again.
Su Liumeng was wonderful in every way, except she teased me every now and then.
I didn’t know what was wrong with her—she acted like it was some addictive habit.
I still couldn’t quite understand Su Liumeng’s quirks.
But since she was leaving, I’d let it slide this time.
*****
Midnight.
My legs were so swollen that I couldn’t sleep no matter how I lay in bed.
When you can’t sleep, your mind always wanders.
I suddenly reached out and wiped the corners of my eyes with the back of my hand.
No matter how cheerful I was during the day, at night I still couldn’t let go.
I scolded myself harshly for being so useless.
It’s just a few days apart—why act like it’s a life-and-death parting? Can’t you stop being so childish and annoying? Who would like you if you keep this up?
I pushed down all my emotions.
Hugging my favorite blanket, my fingertips were already turning white.
A moment later, I got up and sat on the edge of the bed, swinging my feet as if I’d suddenly convinced myself.
I didn’t admit my attachment to Su Liumeng, but instead forced myself to suppress the excessive clinginess that would make me unlikeable.
Anyway, Su Liumeng was leaving soon, so I should just spend more time with her.
The smile on my face was faint, with no trace of sadness. I propped my hand on the edge of the bed and set my bare feet on the floor.
Ever since my foot got scratched on the floor last time, Su Liumeng had covered the entire second floor with carpet. It was warm and clean to walk on.
With both arms wrapped around my little blanket, I slowly pushed open the bedroom door.