Time always passes faster than expected. In the blink of an eye, his birthday was already a week ago.
Su Ziyan and Xu Duyan had finally returned to their normal lives.
Xu Duyan no longer spent all day by Su Ziyan’s side. Instead, she devoted more time to taking care of her flower shop and bar, because she was afraid that she might subconsciously make intimate gestures toward him.
She feared that Su Ziyan, who had already made his decision, would end up disliking her because of it.
Even so, every day at lunchtime, she would rush home to cook for him and personally feed him.
Because she felt that using chopsticks was simply too difficult for a blind person.
Su Ziyan had originally planned to refuse. After all, eating some bread or ordering something simple like stuffed pancakes or jianbing wouldn’t be that troublesome.
But Xu Duyan’s attitude on this matter was far too firm. She said it was normal behavior between siblings, yet her tone sounded like that of an abandoned puppy.
Su Ziyan found himself unable to refuse.
As the week passed, he gradually got used to this kind of life. The only thing he couldn’t get used to was the phone’s accessibility mode—every time he tapped the keyboard, it produced a cold, mechanical voice.
But getting used to something didn’t mean he was happy.
Over the past week, without performing anymore, Su Ziyan’s heart had gradually grown empty. A month late, he had finally entered the state the doctor and Xu Duyan had described.
Aside from emptiness, a sense of fear had also begun to take root within him.
Now he finally understood how Xu Duyan had felt before—why, even while telling herself it wasn’t allowed and that she should stay away, she still couldn’t help but long to embrace the other person and feel their warmth.
Why she always wanted to do intimate things with him.
Back then, Xu Duyan had chosen to indulge herself, occasionally getting close to Su Ziyan. And at that time, Su Ziyan was already in college and spent most of his time away from home, so it never developed into anything taboo.
But Su Ziyan knew very well that now, the two of them were together day and night. Given enough time, it would be hard for him to control himself.
Emptiness, despair, and fear surrounded him, leaving him at a loss.
He had trapped himself in a dead end of emotions. Until today, after lunch, he saw Xu Duyan off and, as usual, sat on the sofa basking in the sunlight.
Meanwhile, his phone beside him played videos one after another.
Until one video caught his attention.
“Five years later, what has become of the person at the center of that once-viral incident?”
As the video played, Su Ziyan finally remembered what it was about.
Five years ago, a terminally ill husband chose to end his own life so as not to burden his wife, leaving behind a letter for her.
Because he had been too weak lying in the hospital bed at the time, his best friend had written the letter on his behalf. Later, that friend, who had witnessed their love, posted it online, and it spread everywhere.
The person mentioned in the video was the patient’s wife.
She had remarried two years ago and now had a new family.
In the interview, she said her current husband knew about her past and was deeply moved by her former husband’s devotion to love. Every year on the anniversary of his death, the two of them would visit her late husband together.
The deceased man’s friend, who used to help her family often because of his friend, cut off contact with her after she remarried, seeing it as a betrayal of his friend.
It was quite an interesting story. Su Ziyan, somewhat intrigued, had his phone assistant continue reading the comments. The comment section was sharply divided—some believed she had betrayed the husband who loved her.
Others thought that life, aging, illness, and death were all natural, and that finding a new husband was normal. Moreover, the fact that they visited her late husband every year showed she hadn’t forgotten him.
And her new husband showed respect toward the former one, which made it a relatively good ending.
Su Ziyan, however, had a different view. He felt that finding a new husband was perfectly normal, but bringing the new husband to visit the deceased one was just darkly absurd.
After that, he had the phone assistant play the next video, but a different kind of seed had already been planted in his heart.
Perhaps that seed hadn’t just been planted now. Maybe it had always been there, only unnoticed.
After all, for someone like him, who spent his days foolishly cheerful, it would be strange if he didn’t have any self-destructive tendencies.
Su Ziyan sometimes wondered—if his blindness hadn’t been caused by an accident later in life, but instead had been congenital, maybe things would be better.
At least then, he would have already been used to it, instead of being trapped in this vicious cycle.
And Xu Duyan hadn’t been obedient either. Although he had made himself very clear during that conversation, she hadn’t given up completely.
She only restrained herself for about a week before starting to find different ways to tempt him and pursue him again.
Many times, Su Ziyan felt he was on the verge of giving in to the temptation and agreeing to her. But whenever he thought of that conversation, he couldn’t bring himself to say yes.
Even Xu Duyan herself probably hadn’t expected that the words spoken that day would become an insurmountable divide between them.
Su Ziyan kept reminding himself that she had once given up her feelings so as not to burden him.
He couldn’t shamelessly become a burden to the one he loved.
Finally, half a month after that conversation, a small conflict broke out between them.
It happened one noon, while Xu Duyan was feeding Su Ziyan. A tiny grain of rice stuck to the corner of his mouth.
Su Ziyan could naturally feel it. He was about to lick it into his mouth, but unexpectedly, Xu Duyan leaned in and kissed him.
After half a month of constant proximity and restrained politeness, Xu Duyan couldn’t hold back anymore. Seizing the opportunity, she pressed Su Ziyan down onto the sofa and demanded his kiss.
But what she hadn’t expected was his intense reaction. He shoved her away with almost rough force, causing her to fall back onto the sofa behind her.
“What exactly are you trying to do?! Didn’t I already talk this through with you properly? Why can’t you respect me?!”
Su Ziyan shouted at her, both angry and flustered.
That gentle yet passionate kiss had almost made him lose himself. Once he snapped back to his senses, he had to push her away immediately—because he felt that if he didn’t, he would no longer want to.
Xu Duyan had never been treated so roughly by Su Ziyan before. She hadn’t realized that her own words had placed him in an impossible position.
Making it so that he neither could nor wanted to become someone who burdened the person he loved.
But in truth, even if she hadn’t said those things, Su Ziyan would likely have only wavered for a couple of days.
Because the two of them were cut from the same cloth. When they were strong, they could be endlessly tolerant and yielding in love. But when they were in a vulnerable position, their bones were filled with pride.
Caught in the situation and unable to see clearly, she hadn’t figured all that out yet. But she knew that in a moment like this, voicing her true thoughts would only agitate Su Ziyan further.
So she clenched her teeth and chose to act pitiful instead, speaking in a soft, aggrieved tone:
“You never used to be this harsh with me…”