Several unfamiliar classmates’ heads crowded the seat where Su Li usually sat.
Chi Qingya could even hear the thumping of her own temples, her throat so parched it felt as if she’d swallowed a handful of sand.
Unwilling to give up, she searched from the first row all the way to the last, not even noticing when her knee knocked against the metal table leg.
Her molars ached from clenching, a buzzing filled her ears, and she didn’t even hear the Teacher calling roll.
It wasn’t until someone in the front row turned around and looked at her that she realized she was gripping the backrest of the last row so tightly.
The Sufulei in her bag had long since been squashed out of shape, just like her own crumpled heart.
Suddenly, Chi Qingya remembered the sight of Su Li leaving with her luggage that day, and her breath caught sharply.
Could it be… she wouldn’t even get the chance to catch a glimpse of Su Li from afar this time?
Su Li had appeared in their University class as suddenly as she’d vanished from Chi Qingya’s life.
It almost seemed normal for her to disappear just as suddenly.
Even when Su Li was present in the class, she hadn’t gotten deeply involved with anyone.
She’d come to the Classroom to attend lessons when she had time, and when she didn’t, she’d simply apply for leave.
Even their Teacher was used to this and never made much of it.
Chi Qingya felt a stuffiness settle in her heart.
If Su Li left, she wouldn’t even have the chance to see her one last time.
She couldn’t even find a way to say goodbye to Su Li.
Back then, Su Li had always cleaned the Classroom by herself, all alone.
No one cared why she was the only one.
Now, Su Li had disappeared from the Classroom, and still, no one discussed or cared.
Su Li was like a passing guest in everyone’s lives.
Chi Qingya’s fingers suddenly lost strength, and the plastic bag slipped from her palm with a rustling sound.
She watched helplessly as the paper bag holding the Sufulei tilted and fell, the cream smearing onto the tiles and spreading into a greasy stain, looking just like ice cream melting in the height of summer.
Chi Qingya’s knees were still slightly bent, but her toes felt nailed to the spot.
The sound of pages flipping in the Classroom suddenly felt far away, and she even forgot how to bend down and pick things up.
The tips of her canvas shoes were stained with a bit of cream, slowly hardening in the cold air of the air conditioner.
She stared at the messy hair on the nape of the stranger in the front row, a sickly sweetness rising in her throat and turning bitter.
Her fingertips unconsciously curled and loosened, red marks from the bag’s handle still visible on her palm.
Su Li really seemed about to vanish from her life.
“Xixi, do you think Chi Qingya’s got a screw loose? Even now, she doesn’t look for a seat but just stands there daydreaming in the back.”
Caixiangxiang took advantage of the Teacher not looking, sneaking the Sufulei in her hand into her mouth as she whispered with her two friends.
“Who knows, maybe she’s feverish and out of it. Such a waste, I thought that Sufulei she was holding was for us, but not only did she not eat it herself, she just dropped it on the floor. I just hope she doesn’t drag us in when it’s time to clean up.”
Wei Yanxi whispered too, silently stuffing the Sufulei into her mouth.
“Do you think Chi Qingya’s Sufulei was meant for Su Li? After all, her eyes were darting everywhere just now, like she was searching for someone—probably Su Li. But Su Li didn’t come to class again today. I wonder what she’s thinking, skipping every time the Teacher calls roll.”
Chen Tangguan whispered, having been secretly observing Chi Qingya for a while—not out of concern, of course, but because she felt she could always find some amusement in Chi Qingya.
“Who knows? Maybe she’s off making money somewhere. She probably doesn’t care about class at all. People like us will probably graduate and still not make any money, but she’s already got her own way to earn, so not coming to class is normal.”
Caixiangxiang said mockingly, remembering how she’d been punched for no reason by some fat oaf before.
It made her angry—this was all Su Li’s fault! They’d only talked about Su Li a bit, so why had Su Li gotten physical? Of course, Chi Qingya was at fault too!
If it hadn’t been for discussing Chi Qingya, they wouldn’t have ended up gossiping about Su Li.
Looking at Chi Qingya’s miserable appearance—just recovered and already buying Sufulei for them—Caixiangxiang’s lips curled in satisfaction. Nothing was more enjoyable than this.
At this moment, Chi Qingya had no idea what her friends were thinking; she just stood at the back of the Classroom, feeling lost.
She glanced at her phone—the friend request she’d sent to Su Li still hadn’t been accepted. Su Li still hadn’t forgiven her!
There was a dull ache in her chest, as if she’d lost something forever.
“Su Li…”
Chi Qingya murmured softly, but no one cared that Su Li was gone.
Just like… just like when she had been sick.
The Teacher’s lecture had reached an interesting part, and laughter echoed throughout the Classroom.
But to her, the laughter sounded both near and far.
She stared at the seat Su Li had once favored, only now there was a strange girl sitting there.
Chi Qingya gazed at the ends of the stranger’s ponytail, her throat burning with sourness that stung her eyes.
Her fingernails dug deep into her palm, but the pain felt as if it was separated by a layer of frosted glass.
Mechanically, Chi Qingya crouched down to pick up the ruined Sufulei, cream covering her hands, the sickly sweet scent mingling with disinfectant, making her temples throb.
Standing at the back, she felt even more at a loss.
Su Li was gone…
Clearly, Su Li’s absence shouldn’t affect her in any way.
But…
Why?
Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it feel so awful?
Chi Qingya was bewildered, pressing her fingers against her chest.
Driven by instinct, she picked up the Sufulei from the floor and tossed it into the trash bin.
Looking at the Classroom filled with students studying, she felt a sense of unreality.
Wasn’t the Classroom always like this…
Su Li hadn’t always been here from the beginning either.
So why did she feel so uncomfortable, so stifled?
Chi Qingya stared blankly at the trash bin, unable to figure it out.
Her mind felt fuzzy, and even her memories from before she met Su Li seemed hazy.
But at the same time, she realized that even her memories of being with Su Li seemed blurry.
The moment the bell rang for the end of class, she sprang up almost reflexively, striding up to the podium in a few quick steps to check the Sign-in Sheet.
Her fingertips trembled as they skimmed over the densely packed names, the paper glaringly white under the fluorescent light.
The space after Su Li’s name was completely blank—not even a mark for being late.