Chapter 19: When I Was Eleven

On the third day of school.

Thanks to my connection with Shangguan Xiyue, I managed to get a student council position, which meant I didn’t have to participate in the exhausting and sun-scorched military training.

At the moment, I was sitting in the bleachers, cracking sunflower seeds while watching the students below sweat under the blazing sun.

Can’t help it.

Ever since I got that ghost fetus warning yesterday, I wouldn’t dare push myself too hard.

Who knows what intense physical training might do to it?

…Wait, could I have a miscarriage?

Just imagining the ghost baby being flushed out like that gave me the chills.

“You… why are you skipping military training?” Shangguan Xiyue asked, clearly confused.

In her eyes, I was a proper, obedient girl. Always reading, always getting top scores in class.

The kind of person who typically follows rules and certainly wouldn’t do anything rebellious like this.

I pressed my lips together and didn’t explain.

“Is it… inconvenient to talk about?” Shangguan Xiyue, as student council president, was naturally skilled in reading people.

She could instantly tell I had my reasons.

“Mm.” I fiddled with my fingers and mumbled softly.

I’ll keep it hidden for as long as I can.

At least, until I start showing—I really didn’t want a second person to know.

The girl before me had her head down, clearly burdened by something.

Shangguan Xiyue asked casually, “So what’s going on between you and Miss Su? Why did she run out of your dorm crying? I heard the Su family made a big fuss yesterday, though it seems to have been suppressed. They didn’t even come after you.”

I lowered my hands and looked up, pouting slightly.

“What else could it be? She just came out of nowhere and told me she likes me.”

“I honestly think… she doesn’t even understand what ‘liking someone’ really means.”

As I recalled her bizarre confession, my brain started buzzing again.

Assuming the person she liked was “Yan Shen” (God of Speech), then falling for someone she had only just met was already bizarre enough.

But if she hadn’t projected Yan Shen’s identity onto me—if she was still thinking of me as her long-standing enemy—then it was even more absurd.

After all, our animosity wasn’t some life-or-death grudge. At most, she just had me kicked out of the Su family.

And both she and I knew perfectly well—neither of us would ever go as far as truly destroying the other.

First of all, our adoptive Su parents would never allow it.

So, at most, we just disgusted each other, or took jabs whenever we could.

The Su family is a thousand-year-old aristocratic clan, and internal power struggles were nothing new.

In the past, all the back-and-forth between her and me, overt and covert, was mostly tacitly permitted.

Being kicked out of the Su family was, in essence, the result of my failure in the “heir’s war.”

For a powerful family like the Sus, ability will always trump blood. ‘

If I had won in the end, even as an adopted child, I would still have had the right to stay, just like her.

I’ve always understood this.

And after seeing through everything, I found myself caring more about reason and morality.

That’s why I once said I felt guilty toward Su Liumeng.

It was precisely because of this that I didn’t want her to waste any more time and energy on me.

Shangguan Xiyue listened to my analysis, her expression gradually shifting to one of surprise.

“So what you’re saying is… you think she’s just acting like a spoiled rich girl—refusing to back down just because you rejected her—and that her so-called love doesn’t actually run that deep?”

Her gaze became somewhat complicated.

“I see things a little differently,” she said.

“There’s definitely some sincerity in her feelings. Want to take a look at her personal Weibo?”

Su Liumeng had written many posts—like a diary chronicling a girl’s emotions.

If it were just a few posts over a few days, you could say it was a passing whim.

But what about two years? Three? Four? Five? Even longer?

Who could fake something like that for so many years?

In Shangguan Xiyue’s opinion, it was precisely those long-held emotions that made Su Liumeng unwilling to give up, even after learning the person she liked—Yan Shen—was actually a girl.

I had revised the truth slightly, changing our “enemy” relationship into a story of “gender mismatch.”
It sounded more plausible that way.

“Her personal Weibo?” I froze for a second.

“Better not.”

I stared at the sun overhead, clearly absent-minded.

“Si Xinyan!”

A clear and crisp voice rang out behind me, echoing in my ears.

Speak of the devil.

Both Shangguan Xiyue and I paused mid-conversation.

Su Liumeng approached, holding two cups of milk tea.

She handed me the coldest one, smiling softly, eyes curved like crescent moons—cute and obedient.

But I didn’t reach out to take it. The atmosphere instantly grew tense.

Shangguan Xiyue, sensing she had become the third wheel, figured she might as well leave them some space.

Their business was best resolved between them.

She’d just get in the way if she stayed.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Shangguan Xiyue said, getting up.

Su Liumeng and I locked eyes, as if sparks were flying through the air.

Seeing that neither of us seemed inclined to acknowledge her any further, Shangguan Xiyue took a few steps back to observe from a distance—close enough to keep an eye on us, but far enough to avoid hearing anything.

Just in case she had to step in and break up a fight.

Up on the bleachers, two girls of similar height stood facing each other.

One had her hand extended mid-air, while her gaze remained unwavering, locked with the other’s.

Shangguan Xiyue’s inner gossip radar was on fire.

She had a gut feeling—this wasn’t their first meeting.

In fact, they may have known each other for years.

Otherwise, how could just a single look—without a word spoken—alr

Without nearly a decade of time spent together, there’s no way they could have developed this kind of unspoken understanding.

And truth be told, the two of them standing together made quite a stunning sight—both were among the most beautiful girls in the school.

Shangguan Xiyue’s imagination immediately began filling in the blanks, conjuring up a lingering, bittersweet love story between them.

*****

Up on the bleachers—

My eyes grew colder, and my words sharper.

If you don’t like someone, don’t give them false hope.

That’s one of the most basic principles of being a decent person.

“Take your milk tea back. I’m not drinking it.”My voice was even firmer. \“Su Liumeng, don’t forget—you and I are still enemies.”

Su Liumeng, who had been trying hard to maintain her composure, finally cracked.

She held it in the first time I rejected her.

But the second time, this bluntly, it went exactly as I expected—her pampered heiress temper flared up immediately.

Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, and her gaze dropped to her wrist.

Reflected in her eyes was the glimmer of rippling autumn water—calm on the surface, yet hiding surging emotion.

“Heh.” The corners of her lips curled up in a smile I couldn’t quite understand.

But I wasn’t done.

If it was going to hurt, better to rip off the bandage fast—I wanted her to give up for good.

At the very least, don’t drag me into some rich girl’s twisted game.

“You don’t really understand what love is, do you?”

“At least, I’ve never seen anyone love the way you do.”

“Take your immature feelings and go see a therapist or something—before you mistake emotional dependence for affection.”

“And let’s be honest, isn’t part of this just your pride refusing to accept rejection?”

“Stop acting like the spoiled heiress. I have nothing to do with the Su family anymore, and I don’t have time to play games with you.”

Su Liumeng had heard me talk like this before.

But somehow, this time cut the deepest.

She could ignore Si Xinyan’s words—but she couldn’t ignore Yan Shen’s.

Suddenly, she raised her wrist and slammed the milk tea into the trash can with a loud bang.

Then she shouted at me.

“Si Xinyan, what the hell are you pretending for?!”

“You call my love immature and say I need to see a doctor? You’re only a few days older than me!”

To have her feelings so thoroughly trampled, Su Liumeng looked like she was on the verge of breaking down.

Her eyes were full of hatred as she glared at me, her emotions twisting wildly.

Why did it have to be this person?

The one she both loved and hated—at the same time.

She truly couldn’t forget—that year when she was eleven, at her lowest point emotionally—the “young boy” on the internet who had shown her kindness and concern.

Her fingertips were nearly digging into her palm, drawing blood, and with a voice that trembled with emotion, she suddenly shouted at me:

“Yes! We’re enemies! I’ve never forgotten that!”

“And I didn’t come here today just to give you milk tea.”

“I just suddenly felt like… feeding a stray dog.”

Su Liumeng’s smile suddenly took on a trace of wild liberation, as if she were letting go in despair.

Her voice, which had been raised in anger just a moment ago, became unexpectedly calm.

Golden sunlight rained down from the sky.

But the figure of the girl standing in it seemed shattered and hopeless.

Her waterfall-like black hair hung softly down her back.

“Jiuyan.”

Her eyes were too calm—so calm she no longer seemed like the same person from a moment ago.

She simply looked at me lightly.

This time, she didn’t call me by my real name.

“Do you still remember a little girl online… who used the username ‘Yu’?”

Crack—

My fingers clenched into a fist, and in that moment, I accidentally snapped one of my fingernails from the force.

“Now… do you understand?”

“My feelings were never some whim, and they were never just a bored heiress’s game.”

Su Liumeng turned around with a faint smile and calm composure.

“You really made a young girl’s years-long crush sound so worthless.”

“I’m really disappointed…”

“At the very least, the Jiuyan I once knew would never act like this.”

I suddenly shot up from my seat.

“Wait!”

In the distance, Shangguan Xiyue, who’d been casually spectating with her melon seeds, suddenly sat up straight and focused intently.

She had thought that once Su Liumeng threw away the milk tea, the whole story had come to a dramatic end.

But she didn’t expect such a shocking twist to follow.

She gritted her teeth internally:

Good grief, Xiao Yanzi…

You dared to lie to me?!

After all that, you still want to claim you two didn’t know each other before?!