Chapter 114: Prepartum Anxiety

January 18th.

The due date was drawing nearer and nearer. These days, I often found myself alone, gazing at the sky.

With a complex expression that no one else could decipher, I stared blankly at the drifting white clouds.

The increasingly frequent weigh-ins hadn’t escaped Su Liumeng’s notice.

After meals, when Su Liumeng would suggest I go out for a walk, I only shook my head heavily, declining her offer.

It seemed I hadn’t gone outside for a long time.

All I did was stand in front of the calendar day after day, drawing circle after circle with a red pen.

I also had a diary, barely a few pages in, with nothing but a series of gradually increasing numbers.

At the dinner table once again, Su Liumeng looked at the exhausted girl in front of her and finally couldn’t hold back. She picked up a piece of fish—one I used to love—and said, “Baby, have some fish.”

“You’ve only eaten green vegetables for several meals now.”

Staring at the fish she handed me, I didn’t know what came over me. My pent-up emotions suddenly burst out of control, and I swept all the dishes and chopsticks onto the floor with my arm. “Why are you giving me fish? I don’t want to eat!”

“Do you want to see how much the baby weighs already?”

Crash.

Food scattered everywhere, the porcelain shattered on the ground, shards landing near Su Liumeng’s toes.

One small fragment even cut a bloody line across the top of my foot.

Su Liumeng was stunned, still holding the fish.

I stared at my hands and finally realized what I’d just done.

Unable to help myself, I covered my face and began to sob quietly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to.”

My crying was utterly broken, my voice constantly choking, “I just can’t control myself…”

“Why, why do you keep making me eat meat?”

One moment I was apologizing, and the next I was muttering to myself.

This chaotic and shattered scene was fully taken in by Su Liumeng.

Su Liumeng didn’t speak. She stood up and silently hugged me, gently patting my back again and again.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry. It’s my fault.

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Everything will go smoothly.”

Su Liumeng quietly cleaned up the house.

Watching the busy girl, I couldn’t help but clench my small hand at my side.

Night deepened.

The trees rustled in the wind, leaves swaying and dripping in the rain.

The neighbor’s golden retriever barked wildly in the darkness.

I shuddered almost instinctively, my eyes snapping open in the dark.

“You—what’s wrong?” Su Liumeng looked at my face in the darkness.

These days, it wasn’t convenient for me to hold anyone while sleeping, so we each had our own blanket, keeping to ourselves.

Snap—

I slapped the light switch, but didn’t answer Su Liumeng’s question.

I only stared into the pitch-black darkness outside with deep, unfathomable eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Su Liumeng asked again.

I shook my head lightly, suppressing the unease in my heart. “Maybe I sensed wrong.”

“Just now, I suddenly felt a faint trace of Yin energy drifting through the streets of the villa district.”

I slowly closed my eyes, listening to the golden retriever’s relentless barking. That strange feeling in my heart surged up once more, without warning.

Su Liumeng’s palm opened, a sword appearing in her hand, and in a flash, she was outside.

The drizzle seemed to be picking up.

The evergreens swayed in the wind.

The wind itself grew stronger, blowing into the room through a window that hadn’t been closed tightly, causing the chandelier’s dim light to flicker with each sway.

Staring at the empty bedding beside me, I called my daughter’s name in my heart.

Si Zhiruo showed no sign of awakening.

That was both bad news and good news.

If she wasn’t awake, it meant I wasn’t in danger.

The last bit of unease in my heart finally dissipated.

A moment later, Su Liumeng returned, sword in hand. “Nothing unusual within a hundred kilometers.”

“Are you sure you sensed a change in the Yin energy?” Su Liumeng looked at me seriously.

“I…”

I clutched my hair in distress.

Several strands broke between my fingers, but I didn’t feel any pain.

“But I definitely sensed it just now.”

“Just because my cultivation is lower than yours, doesn’t mean my senses are weaker than yours in this area.”

Looking into Su Liumeng’s eyes, I felt on the verge of collapse, repeatedly explaining that I was right.

Su Liumeng sheathed her sword, said nothing, and came to sit by the bed. She reached out and touched my forehead. “Is the pre-birth stress too much, the anxiety too severe? Are you having a hysteria episode?”

“I don’t have hysteria! You’re the one imagining things.” I slapped her hand away, like a mother hen protecting her chick. “Do you also think, since the baby’s so heavy, that insisting on a natural birth is reckless?”

I stared at the girl in front of me.

As if I wouldn’t let it go unless she gave me an answer.

“That’s not what I mean.” Su Liumeng tried to hug me, but I slapped her arm away.

“If that’s not what you mean, then what do you mean? If you didn’t believe it, why would you insist my stress is too much?” At this moment, my hair was a mess, and I just stared at Su Liumeng.

Su Liumeng rubbed her temples in frustration.

She suddenly didn’t know how to communicate.

She held a slip of paper in her palm.

On it was a detailed record of all elemental fluctuations within a hundred kilometers.

A pinnacle product of the cultivation world and technology, deployed by Su Liumeng as soon as it was available.

The slip clearly stated: no anomalies.

“Baby, I trust you…”

“But…” Su Liumeng couldn’t get the next words out.

I closed my eyes, exhausted. “I’m tired. Let’s sleep.”

Su Liumeng turned off the light, and tried several times to hold my hand in bed, but was heartlessly avoided each time.

“Baby.”

“You’ve really been under too much stress lately. Tomorrow I’ll get you a psychologist. You can’t go on like this.”

Su Liumeng had noticed all of Si Xinyan’s recent changes.

At this moment,

Even her tone was almost pleading.

“I’m not sick. Why should I see a psychologist?” I scooted a bit farther away, seeming a little angry. Su Liumeng fell silent in the dark.

After a while,

Su Liumeng spoke again. “Baby, please, just this once, listen to me, okay?”

Is my stress really too much?

Tears seeped from the corners of my eyes, and Su Liumeng saw them clearly.

She didn’t resent the trouble I brought, only felt endless heartache.

As the person closest to Si Xinyan, only she knew what the girl had been enduring.

“You don’t have to keep thinking about how heavy the baby is, or recalling what the doctor told you. If it comes down to it, we can always do an episiotomy midway—everything will go smoothly.” Su Liumeng gently patted my back.

After a moment’s silence, I finally stopped resisting the thing I hated most—doctors.

“Mm, I’ll listen to you.”

“Find a psychologist, then.”

Seeing my attitude finally soften, Su Liumeng breathed a long sigh of relief.

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

Whenever I closed my eyes now, all I saw was what the chief doctor told me on my second hospital visit.

[The estimated weight is 3.75 kilograms. We don’t recommend a normal delivery. The hospital advises you to consider a C-section.]

[Given your current condition, natural birth carries many unpredictable risks. Even with modern medical techniques, having contingency plans doesn’t guarantee your absolute safety.]

[I hope you’ll think it over seriously at home.]