Chapter 1: Don’t Want To Play Anymore

“So… in all these seventeen years, you didn’t do anything else besides me?”

I stared at the girl in front of me, my expression blank as I asked the question.

Her violet eyes were innocent and bright like two dazzling star stones gazing at me with pure bewilderment.

That stunningly beautiful face, practically the embodiment of a femme fatale, wore a look of confusion.

The situation was… complicated. 

She was just as lost as I was.

No, not just complicated.

It was especially complicated.

Let’s start from my side of things—

Seventeen years ago, I was in a car accident.

As fate would have it, I got isekai’d.

The new world was awesome.

There was magic, cultivation, kingdoms, heroes, demon kings…

Since I’d gone through the trouble of being transported, of course I wasn’t going to just be some sightseeing tourist.

I joined an adventuring party and started clearing all sorts of quests.

Eventually, I completed every challenge, absorbed the powers of a god along the way, and gained the ability to traverse dimensions.

Naturally, the next step was to return home.

Wealth and glory are meant to be shared, no point in dressing like royalty if no one sees it.

Now that my adventure in the other world was over, it was time for a righteous return to Earth!

So just a moment ago, I opened a portal and came back.

But then… something went wrong.

I wasn’t dead.

That body— my original body— that had been flung into the air by a dump truck seventeen years ago, did a triple 1080 spin mid-air, and ended up hanging from a tree… was still alive.

If that was all, I could’ve dealt with it.

But after being hit by the truck, I became a vegetable.

No one could afford my medical bills, so the hospital gave up on treatment.

If that was all, maybe I could’ve handled it.

But right as I was clinging to life by a thread, I got sold.

Since most of my organs were still viable, even in a vegetative state, I was apparently worth something to a few shady underground doctors.

Still, even that wasn’t the worst part!!!

Because my body never truly died, my soul automatically returned to it.

“And then what happened?”

I lifted my head. 

My soft pink eyes flared with shame and fury, nearly shooting out little sparks. 

My silver teeth clenched tight. 

Now wearing the same devastating beauty as the girl before me, my delicate cheeks still bore traces of her bodily fluids.

Behind her, her tentacles awkwardly twisted together as she recalled what had happened.

……

Cluru— an evil god? Probably.

Fearing she’d be hunted down, she hid away in a basement and became a shut-in.

Due to her unusual divine constitution, Cluru needed to regularly vent her excess spiritual energy on living beings.

But she was scared that exposing herself would lead to her being hunted, so…

Seventeen years ago, she visited a hospital.

And purchased a harmless, sleeping body.

Hey, wasn’t this way better than a rubber toy?

Still warm, too~

Look at that beating heart, that vibrant life force… This was the perfect outlet!

Not only did she never have to worry about being attacked by him…

But because he was still biologically alive, she could gradually influence and reshape him into her ideal form!

Cluru admired the unconscious body as it slowly transformed under her influence into the most perfect girl she could imagine…

And the best part? 

The guy was already brain-dead. 

She could do whatever she wanted, with zero guilt.

So—

Every day, Cluru would unleash her overflowing spiritual energy upon that body.

And she absolutely loved that life!

Cold winter mornings? 

Time to warm up with some self-care.

Dry autumn nights? 

Perfect for working up a sweat.

Is summer air conditioning too comfy? 

Gotta keep the body active.

And springtime… meow~ ~ spring is the season of pink~ ~ ~

And so.

Just like that.

Seventeen years passed.

……

“Well… I didn’t only do that,” Cluru mumbled. 

“I played games now and then.”

“What about food? Don’t you need to eat?”

I asked, my voice now that of a soft, melodic beauty. 

I meant to sound fierce, but only came off as hurt and helpless.

“Food? Oh… I don’t need to eat. I never get hungry.”

“But I get hungry! I’m starving right now!”

“Hungry? Don’t worry~ Here~”

Cluru reached out with a tiny tentacle.

Snip—she sliced it clean off.

Then, with a cheerful smile, she held the wriggling thing out to me.

“Here~ Open wide~ Aaaa—”

“…”

I stared at the still-twitching pink octopus tentacle.

Then at Cluru’s stump, where a new one had already regenerated with terrifying speed.

I fell silent.

This… is my food?

I’ve been eating this for seventeen years???

……

Holding my forehead, I sighed.

I was numb now.

I thought I’d come back to Earth full of knowledge from another world. 

Ready for a triumphant return as a war god or a reborn immortal emperor.

But what… is this?

。

Maybe she noticed how “sad” and “vulnerable” I looked, because the little evil god suddenly wrapped all her tentacles around me in a hug.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll take responsibility,” she said, clumsily imitating the tone of an overbearing CEO.

Take responsibility for your pineapple-head granny!

Give me back my cool power fantasy!

Give me back my manly, dignified body——!!

“Don’t worry!” 

Cluru said again, biting her silver teeth like she’d made a huge decision. 

“Starting today, I’ll go out and get a job to support you!”

I tried to calm my breathing.

I tried not to let my chest rise and fall too dramatically.

But as I caught her gaze, I lost my composure. 

I hurriedly covered my soft, pale chest.

“W-Where do you think you’re looking?!”

I meant to sound angry, but all that came out was embarrassment and panic.

The little evil god’s tentacles twitched, and she gulped audibly.

“S-Sorry. I just realized… the awake you are kind of… nice too…”

#

I’m pissed.

Like, seriously on fire.

But even though I’m boiling with rage, I’m still sane enough to assess the situation rationally.

I know this isn’t really Cluru’s fault.

When she bought me, I’d already lost all ability to care for myself. 

My fate was obvious—starve to death, bedridden and forgotten.

If she hadn’t intervened, I’d be long gone.

Instead, Cluru saved this body.

She cared for it meticulously.

She—now it’s she, I guess—was so well-maintained, there wasn’t even a single bed sore.

Daily cleaning, constant attention.

This body’s practically been polished to a museum-grade finish.

More than that, returning to Earth had been far harder than I imagined.

If it weren’t for this body acting as a beacon through the dimensional turbulence, I’d have been lost in the void forever.

So yes.

Cluru did save my life.

Fine.

I get it. I understand.

“…So what exactly is my current situation?”

I asked, trembling with humiliation and fury, staring at my current girlish body.

Who the hell stole my mighty dragon?!

“Oh, you mean this body?” Cluru brightened up, visibly proud.

“This is your brand new, hand-crafted ‘little fox girl’ themed skin! So? How’s the tail? Moving okay?”

That’s not what I’m talking about!!!

I’m talking about my… you know!

“Oh, right. Well, you won’t be getting a new skin anytime soon. I spent way too much divine energy on this one. I’m completely tapped out.”

She shrugged.

Looking every bit like a dead octopus with zero remorse.

“…Can you turn me back?” I asked weakly, clinging to hope.

“Impossible. Forget it. Evil gods only modify—we don’t do ‘undo.’”

Dammit.