“Old dog.”
After finishing her bath and changing into loose pajamas, Zhu Niao stood with her back turned, scrolling through her phone, as if suddenly remembering something, and called out to Gou Yu.
Pure white silk pajamas, a relaxed posture, and a delicate, doll-like face—she was even lying on the other bed just a couple of steps away from Gou Yu, completely unguarded, her back turned toward him without a hint of concern for her safety.
It was like a couple who had been together for a long time, their lives blending into quiet familiarity.
“Hm? Why are you calling your old man?” Gou Yu was picking his nose, almost inhaling the piece he’d just dug out.
He glanced at Zhu Niao lying in her clean pajamas on the other bed, and seeing the pure white silk, he forced himself to stop the urge to flick his booger onto her.
Looking back at his own bed with its spotless sheets, he suddenly felt like the filthiest thing in the room was himself and the booger on his fingers.
Still clutching the booger in one hand, he used the other to dig out a napkin from Zhu Niao’s bag and wrapped it up.
The napkin even smelled nice.
Realizing this, Gou Yu stuffed the rest of the napkin into his pocket.
He thought he also saw some strange piece of clothing carelessly tossed in there.
Probably a girl’s secret; it wouldn’t do for a grown man like him to snoop around.
“Say something! Why’d you call your old man?” After finishing his mischief, Gou Yu finally turned to Zhu Niao.
But she didn’t even look back; she just flipped him the middle finger.
Gou Yu kept a calm expression, weighing the pillow beside him for its weight and softness. After confirming it was suitable, he threw it at Zhu Niao.
Startled, Zhu Niao nearly dropped her phone. Finally, she turned around to look at Gou Yu.
She saw him raise one fist, while the other hand moved like a lever, slowly flipping the raised fist to reveal the middle finger.
“Hey, damn it!”
Zhu Niao grabbed a pillow next to her and threw it back at Gou Yu, landing squarely on his head—bullseye.
“Headshot!” Little Bird cheered.
Gou Yu curled up, clutching his groin. “Where the hell are you throwing these?”
“A head is a head.” Zhu Niao covered her mouth, preparing to chuckle mischievously, when suddenly a shadow loomed over her under the light.
It was Gou Yu, holding a pillow, ready for close combat.
With a terrified expression, Zhu Niao could even feel the whooshing sound of the pillow slicing through the air like a vengeful spirit.
Like an overwhelming tidal wave, while she was just an ant.
The loud thud of cotton and Little Bird’s head colliding echoed through the room.
The mischievous smile vanished from Zhu Niao’s face as she lay motionless, face down on the bed.
She had been put to sleep by the “Gold Medal Deliveryman” with a pillow.
After a while, the girl propped herself up by the forehead and climbed out of bed, her eyes filled with confusion. “Old dog, I think I just dreamed that you hit me.”
“How would your brother hit you?” Gou Yu looked surprised and helped Zhu Niao up from the bed.
“But my head hurts so much.” Zhu Niao rubbed her head.
Gou Yu wasn’t surprised. “You were secretly watching online classes again, weren’t you? I told you to spend two bucks to get someone to do it for you, so there’s no need to skimp.”
“Oh…” Zhu Niao scratched her head. “But why do I still feel like I got hit?”
“That must have been a mosquito on your head. I just swatted it for you.” Gou Yu patted her shoulder and gave her a thumbs-up.
“Well, then you’re pretty nice to me.” Zhu Niao gave him a thumbs-up in return.
“No worries, it’s all good, bro.” Gou Yu smiled brightly.
Seeing Zhu Niao furrow her brows and pinch her chin as if trying to remember something, Gou Yu quickly added, “Hey, I saw you were watching videos just now. Did you find anything good?”
Zhu Niao was a little stunned, unlocked her phone, and the screen showed a typical clickbait marketing post.
【Did you know? A hotel’s little touches—most of them are standard, but the last one? You definitely don’t know.】
“Feels like these marketing accounts talk nonsense.” Gou Yu took charge. “Just scroll to the end; I want to see if I actually know what the last one is.”
Zhu Niao, still a bit dazed from the pillow incident or maybe genuinely curious, dragged the progress bar.
Their heads leaned in together, watching the final reveal.
【The last hotel little touch? Naturally, it’s the embarrassing xx set. Usually, it’s placed somewhere in the room that’s not obvious but also not inconvenient to access.】
“Old dog, you’re right. I’m sure this marketing account is full of crap.” Zhu Niao switched off her phone. “But honestly, I didn’t know about the last one at all. It’s probably something you’d only find in a couple’s hotel, right?”
As she spoke, Zhu Niao realized Gou Yu, who had been right next to her, was suddenly nowhere to be found.
The little bird sitting on the bed sat upright and looked around.
Gou Yu was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring thoughtfully at the bedside table.
“What are you doing?” Zhu Niao crawled toward him and hung onto his back.
“I have a guess.” Gou Yu reached out one hand and started feeling around the drawer of the bedside table.
Right in front of Zhu Niao, he pulled the drawer open.
With a sharp tug, the contents shifted from the depths of the drawer into the light and came into view for both of them.
Just like that marketing account said, there was indeed a sacred item inside.
“Damn.”
Zhu Niao stared at the little box reflecting the light, her gaze growing vacant. “This thing really exists.”
Gou Yu took the box out and placed it on the bed between them.
“What should we do with this thing?” Gou Yu asked, even poking the object, which until now they had only heard about.
“What else could we do?” Zhu Niao shuddered at the thought of being a victim of this kind of thing. “Put it back.”
“No, no, no.” Gou Yu shook his head. “This kind of thing is like when you order takeout and get a free soda or iced tea—if you don’t use it, you’re losing out.”
“Huh?”
Zhu Niao was stunned and crossed her arms. “You want to use this? If you’re going to, use it in the bathroom. I can hook you up with a couple of art films, but don’t get any funny ideas.”
“What are you thinking?” Gou Yu looked baffled and playfully knocked Zhu Niao’s head with his hand. “Does it have to be for that purpose?”
Hurt, Zhu Niao rubbed her head. “Then tell your old man—what else could it possibly be for?”
A smile tugged at the corner of Gou Yu’s mouth. He grabbed the box—the kind of thing that would get censored if placed anywhere else—and slapped Zhu Niao’s shoulder with it.
“Have you ever heard of water balloons?”
“You mean…?”
Oh, so was it condoms?