December 17th.
Early morning.
7:25 AM.
I went to bed relatively early yesterday, around 10:30 PM.
As my personal maid, Chunqiao was standing quietly by my bedside like a silent ghost, holding a basin for washing my face and patiently waiting for her young mistress to naturally wake up.
On the antique-style bed, the young lady was sleeping soundly.
Si Zhiruo always kept a small reserve of caution and remembered that Mommy had something to do this morning, so in the girl’s mind, she kept calling out, “Mommy, Mommy, wake up quickly—if you don’t get up soon, you’ll be late for school.”
I subconsciously ignored all the other words.
A flash of realization struck me as I caught one word.
Wait—
School? Am I going to be late for school?
That one sentence was a nightmare for all students.
Anyone who heard it would break out in cold sweat and suddenly jolt awake.
In my eighteen years of life, I had gone to school for at least thirteen years.
The terrifying concept of being late was etched deep into my bones.
So when I heard that phrase, I immediately flipped upright in bed, “What time is it? How long until I’m late?”
My head was still fuzzy, but my body instinctively moved, decisively swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
Just as I was looking for my little bear slippers, I suddenly froze.
Wait, I’m on maternity leave, what school am I going to?
I said irritably, “You silly girl, what nonsense are you shouting all day? Where did you learn to scare your own mother like this?”
Si Zhiruo pouted, “But that’s what ‘dead’ means.”
“They say if you say it, it can wake up any student who’s still lying in bed.”
“So….” I paused, “You used it on me?”
Si Zhiruo looked a bit aggrieved, “Because I can only talk to Mommy, and among the people I know, you’re the only one still a student…”
“Zhi Zhi just wanted to wake Mommy up.”
I suddenly fell silent for a second, sensing the little bundle was unhappy, “Don’t be mad, Mommy shouldn’t have been harsh. On the contrary, I’ll praise you for knowing what’s important. I really do need to get up early; I just forgot earlier. I apologize.”
“Do you think Zhi Zhi did well?” Si Zhiruo asked tentatively.
“Of course! My baby is the best, the smartest in the whole world.”
Si Zhiruo’s gloomy mood lifted, and she secretly swung her little feet.
In the young lady’s room, decorated in an ancient style, Chunqiao maintained the most proper posture, holding a porcelain basin embroidered with a green phoenix.
Because of a sound barrier, she couldn’t hear what her mistress was saying.
She was already used to her young lady muttering to herself in ways no one else could hear, being a personal maid.
“I’ll do it myself; you can set it aside.”
“Miss, since it’s inconvenient for you to bend over, let your servant help you.”
Before she was ten, Chunqiao could carry trays for over ten hours straight; now, a short time like this was nothing, “The hot water was prepared ten minutes ago, and it’s just the right temperature now.”
“Alright.” I agreed without further refusal.
Chunqiao’s kind of person couldn’t stand being idle; if she didn’t do anything, she’d only become more anxious, worrying she’d done something wrong and would be disliked by her mistress.
Anyone touched by the Su family bloodline would have an indelible mark on their soul.
Just like my personality today, I could never truly change.
7:54 AM.
With Chunqiao’s close assistance, I styled my hair into an unmarried young lady’s bun, trying out an ancient hairstyle for the first time.
It felt somewhat novel, though the head felt a bit heavy.
I had repeatedly emphasized not to use too many hair accessories.
A few simple yet beautiful hairpins suited my habits better.
Light and natural, without makeup, dressed simply—that was my daily style.
Chunqiao solemnly told me, “Miss, girls your age are at the most beautiful blossoming stage. You have to go out looking pretty. And you don’t need heavy makeup. Since you’re naturally beautiful, just a few small pretty ornaments and a dress that shows off your figure and temperament will make you the star wherever any noble family’s young lady appears.”
“Besides, Miss, you’re so stunning; it’d be a pity not to dress up properly.”
As she spoke, a hint of pride entered her tone, “Compared to other young ladies, my Miss is definitely different. No matter where you go, you’ll be the center of attention.”
I agreed to some extent. No one went out looking plain every day.
So she added some very beautiful gold ornaments to my hair.
The gold accessories weren’t thick but intricately carved into exquisite floral shapes.
Some pearls caught the eye from afar, precious and dazzling.
Combined with my brilliant red dress, bright as the midday sun, it immediately elevated my overall aura.
Skin like creamy jade, face like a peach blossom—these eight characters described me perfectly.
Every frown and smile was just right.
My slender waist still had a tender, willow-like grace but didn’t look fragile.
Like a flower carefully nurtured from childhood, elegance flowed naturally from my bones.
My gestures and speech reflected this, and the gentle smile lingering at the corner of my mouth gave a warm yet distant dignified feeling.
Anyone who saw me would think I was a well-bred noble daughter, stopping to praise how beautiful and radiant I looked, wondering who was lucky enough to marry me in the future.
“Mommy, you look so pretty today…” Si Zhiruo clapped her small hands excitedly.
I slowly lifted my sleeve, revealing a small golden phoenix embroidered on the cuff.
The red dress didn’t have narrow sleeves but wider ones, better suited to my fuller figure.
The dress was carefully prepared by Su Liumeng, its design and craftsmanship astonishing.
It had become one of my favorite dresses.
The three-layered skirt, besides being warm, allowed me to raise my legs freely and move easily— I could even spin in place without worrying about exposing myself.
“Do you like it too?” I looked at the embroidery on my sleeve, growing happier by the minute.
“When I learn how to sew detailed embroidery, I’ll make one for you, so my baby can go out looking pretty and enjoy others’ envy.”
Seeing how stunning this dress was, I couldn’t help but look forward to creating even more intricate wedding garments for the big day.
The wedding dress I would only wear once, and it would surely be unforgettable.
A once-in-a-lifetime day.
I would remember it forever.
Si Zhiruo listened to Mommy’s voice but stared at her small hands with an inexplicable sadness, “How many years until I can wear pretty dresses?”
“So annoying.”
“Hm?” I paused, “It’s okay, Mommy will grow up with you.”
At those words, Si Zhiruo suddenly froze.
Because she recalled a conversation she saw online last month.
Someone complained that just entering society was the poorest stage of their life, and no girl would grow up with them.
Someone replied, “There is such a person. Your mother was only in her twenties when she gave birth to you. A woman in her twenties is at the most beautiful stage of life. Wasn’t she the one who stuck with you through your most childish years, giving all her pure, selfless love?”
“How can you say such a person never existed?”
When Si Zhiruo saw this, she wasn’t deeply moved then.
But hearing Mommy say it now, an electric thrill spread through her heart.
Without having experienced anything firsthand, these words could still move her so deeply.
Under the sunlight, the girl looked carefree yet spoke with firm conviction.
Si Zhiruo would never forget these words.
When emotions surged, people often changed the subject to give themselves more time to process.
Si Zhiruo glanced toward the front room and suppressed the urge to punch someone into mince meat, “Mom, hurry up and go in. The old governess inside has been sitting on the chair so long her face is practically turning black.”
The place where rules and discipline were taught was a small, windowless square room with only a dim light at the corner.
I didn’t understand why one had to study in such a place but could only attribute it to the Su family’s ancient strict traditions, always imposing harshness where no one expected it.
I slowly pushed open the wooden door.
Inside, the waiting old governess frowned as if she wanted to scold me, which scared me into raising my hands defensively, “I’m not late. It’s only three minutes to eight…”
“You are the one the young lady likes.”
The old governess swallowed her words, “Since you’re prepared to enter the Su family, there are things you should be told, things to watch out for.”
Ten hours later.
Dragging my aching body and supporting my back, I wearily returned to my room.
“Miss, would you like to eat something?” Chunqiao respectfully asked.
“No.” I was glued to the chair, unwilling to move. After such a long day, I’d lost my appetite, especially since I’m pregnant; I get tired more easily than normal.
“Cook me some porridge, I’ll eat a little and then go to sleep.”
Just two more days of fatigue, then it would be over.
I silently encouraged myself.
The little bundle saw it and felt pain in her heart, “Mommy, let me tell you another story.”
“Alright.” Hearing my baby’s voice, an endless energy seemed to flow through me.
Though very tired, my body revived somewhat, “Last time, where did we leave off? In a dark forest, right? The story was about Snow White being framed by the witch and turning dark to practice martial arts, vowing to take back everything with her own hands.”
“That’s right.” The little bundle rolled in her mind’s sea, excitedly holding a book, ready to continue reading.
The book had many corrections and changes—all her own.
If someone bullies you, you have to fight back. Otherwise, what’s the point?
The violent nature deep inside Si Zhiruo made her believe only fists could reclaim everything.
…….
“Miss, Miss.”
Chunqiao stood by the girl with a porcelain bowl.
The young lady on the chaise lounge was already asleep, so Chunqiao whispered softly.
“You’ve been tired all day; you should eat something before sleeping.”
“Hm?” I rubbed my sleepy eyes and slowly sat up, “Okay, put it on the table. I’ll eat later. If there’s nothing else, you don’t need to come in again.”
Thunk—
The porcelain bowl was placed on the table.
Since entering the most difficult late stage of pregnancy, my walking balance shifted, and my spine habitually straightened and leaned back slightly.
I slowly walked to the table, picked up my personal spoon, and was about to take the first bite when I heard Si Zhiruo’s puzzled question, “Mom, why haven’t you used chopsticks at all lately when eating?”
My hand holding the spoon froze slightly, and some of the white porridge spilled out, “If not with a spoon, then what?”
My question made Si Zhiruo think, “But if you do that, won’t people say you’re immature for still using a spoon to eat?”
My eating slowed again, “Who cares? I’m just eating. Why do I have to listen to all this nonsense? So annoying.”
I’d been using a spoon lately because my right hand was a little swollen and I didn’t want to use chopsticks.
“Zhi Zhi, Mommy’s teaching you something important. Next time when you’re eating alone and someone talks nonsense, don’t hesitate for a second—go ahead and rip their mouth apart.”
“If anyone asks why you’re so fierce, just say—Mom taught me that. Got it?” I added.
Si Zhiruo nodded seriously, etching those words deeply into her heart.
This was Mommy’s lesson, so it must be remembered.
Next time we meet—tear them apart.