Was it really my fault?
I opened the bakery earlier than usual and waited for Shihyun, who was deep in my thoughts with worry.
After all, I had placed a tremendous burden on her yesterday.
Looking back, I even went as far as hugging her from behind.
In a situation where it was already awkward enough for her to be confessed to by another girl, no less grabbing her as she was trying to run away and hugging her like that…
No, wasn’t that even more horrifying for her?
Honestly, if I could go back to that moment, I’d slap myself in the back of the head.
To make things worse, the words I said to her in that moment were utterly bizarre.
At a time when I should have just said, “I like you,” I said something absurd like, “You remind me of someone I like, so please stay by my side.”
Seriously, I doubted whether that could even count as a coherent sentence.
If I told Yuri about this, she’d probably clutch her head and collapse.
I had tried to stick to what Yuri suggested I say, but I ended up adding something completely unnecessary.
Something that, frankly, sounded outright weird.
It would’ve been enough to just say that I used to know someone with the same name as her.
And yet, at the same time, I felt like I wouldn’t have had any better options.
Even if I tried to hide my feelings back then, they would have come to light eventually.
“……”
Yeah, it’s my fault, even if Shihyun doesn’t show up today.
That’s why—
As I was repeating that to myself, I suddenly saw Shihyun through the bakery window.
I stood up without realizing it but quickly sat back down, trying to calm myself.
If I acted too overwhelming, she might change her mind.
Or worse, maybe she came here today to quit her job.
She was kind enough to tell me what she did yesterday just to avoid hurting me, but maybe after thinking it over, she decided she couldn’t do this anymore.
I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
But despite telling myself that, my heart was pounding.
Ding-a-ling
The little bell on the bakery door chimed as Shihyun walked in.
Her face was slightly stiff as she entered, and for a moment, I felt like my heart had dropped to the floor.
I managed to maintain my composure and greeted her.
“Hi.”
Maybe because I had practiced several times earlier, my voice didn’t crack.
“Hello.”
Usually, Shihyun would head straight to the back to change into her work clothes.
Then she’d come out and stand beside me at the counter, and we’d start our day by chatting about this and that.
But this time, she walked straight toward me.
Thump thump.
The sound of my heartbeat was deafening in my ears.
“Unnie,”
Standing in front of me, Shihyun opened her mouth.
“I have something I want to say.”
At those words, time seemed to stop.
*
When I finished speaking, the four of them couldn’t say a word.
They just silently stared at me.
I had rambled on, telling them everything I’d been through as it came to mind.
The emptiness I felt when I first arrived here.
The sense of loss from having to speak to my family as a stranger.
The frustration of not being able to confess to someone I liked, even while they were right next to me.
And my fears about what had happened that day.
I told them everything, even my deepest concerns.
I confessed that I still liked her, but she loved the past version of me.
I didn’t know what to do.
I wanted to be closer to her, but I didn’t know how—
It wasn’t just a recounting of events; it was a complete spill of my worries, like an unstoppable flood.
So it wasn’t surprising that, after hearing all this, they were at a loss for words.
“…Hmm.”
The first to speak was Kalia.
“You’ve been carrying a heavy burden all this time. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”
Her words almost brought me to tears.
Maybe it was because my emotions had been so stirred up as I spoke.
But I bit my lip and held it in. After all, I’d lived as a man for most of my life.
It wasn’t that I’d never cried before, but at least for the sake of my pride, I didn’t want to cry now.
At least, not in front of them.
“It might be a little late to say this, but—”
Kalia cleared her throat awkwardly and continued.
“We’re here to help you. The goddess herself asked us to come.”
“The goddess?”
In that instant, the tears threatening to fall disappeared.
Why would the goddess…?
“Because she knows how much you’ve been struggling.”
“……”
I felt my face flush.
So, in the end, I’d let my emotions spiral so much that even the goddess became worried about me.
And now, she’d gone so far as to send my companions here—
“I can see exactly what you’re thinking just by looking at your face. You heard it from behind the door, didn’t you? We’ve been able to relax and settle here, too. So stop imagining weird things. And stop trying to shoulder everything alone.”
Startled, I turned to Dana, who spoke with a slightly annoyed expression.
“We’re comrades, aren’t we? We’ve risked our lives together and traveled all this way as a team. You need to start sharing the burden.”
“She’s right.”
Fia, who had been listening, nodded vigorously.
“A hero can’t do everything alone. That’s why we formed a party in the first place to work together.
We each have things we’re good at and things we’re not. If the hero tries to carry everything alone, what happens to the rest of us?”
“……”
This time, it was me who found myself speechless.
Arna remained silent, simply watching the conversation unfold.
But it wasn’t because she had nothing to say it seemed more like her companions had already expressed what she wanted to.
With her arms crossed and her eyes fixed on me, it felt like I could hear what she wanted to say without her needing to open her mouth.
“Well, I agree with their point of view.”
“But.”
Her expression turned serious.
“There’s just one problem, not a single one of us here has ever been in a relationship.
Even if we pooled all the knowledge and common sense of the four women standing here…
…Honestly, I don’t think we’d be much help.”
“Ah.”
Fia and Dana’s faces turned bright red in an instant.
“Well, it’s not much of a problem, really.”
“In times like this, there’s no choice but to just lay everything out on the table, like what you did with us.”
Arna let out a small sigh as she noticed all the eyes focusing on her.
“…Even though I may look like this, I’ve lived for over 150 years. During that time, I’ve seen plenty of people confess, fail, or succeed. And usually, those who try to hide their reasons and beat around the bush end up a step too late in most cases.”
“…”
Oh.
Caught off guard by her unexpected words, we were left speechless.
It was true that Arna looked about our age, but in reality, she was an elf who had lived far longer. Among her kind, she was only now being recognized as an adult.
“I’m not saying you should spill everything, including things that sound unbelievable. Just be honest about how you feel about this Ia-yoon person and what you want to do moving forward. That’s all. After all, that’s exactly what they did with you.”
“…Won’t they think it’s strange?”
“Between what’s strange and what’s not, wasn’t what they said to you even stranger?”
I couldn’t find the words to reply to that.
Seeing my silence, Arna smiled and said,
“If you fail, you can worry about that when it happens. At the very least, the other person had the courage to approach you. Wouldn’t it be polite to do the same for them? That’s what I think.”
*
It was true.
She had approached me. Even though she was terrified of being rejected, she still confessed her feelings.
And yet, I ran away from her.
That wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t respectful.
So this time, I decided to act differently. I walked straight up to her without hesitation.
“Unnie, there’s something I want to tell you.”
Then, I grabbed her hand firmly.
Her eyes widened in surprise. When I saw her shoulders flinch, I nearly lost my nerve.
But then, I remembered Arna’s words once more.
That’s right. She had gathered her courage for me.
Now, it was my turn to be brave.
“I have a condition.”
“A… condition?”
Her voice trembled as she asked back.
“Yes.”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself before responding.
Failure could be dealt with later. What mattered now was saying what I truly wanted to say.
“I don’t want to be a replacement for that person.”
Her eyes wavered, full of emotion.
“Not as their substitute, but as myself.”
Not as a shadow of the past, but as the person I am now.
“Not as their replacement, but with the condition that it’s me.”
Resolutely, I spoke the final words I had been holding back.
“I want to stay by your side, as Cha Shihyun. Is that… okay with you?”