Chapter 9: Lin Ci: I don’t have hair!

In the living room, Aunt sat imposingly on the sofa like a queen, while Shen Wen fluttered about like a little minion, pouring tea and serving water.

Shen Xiyan silently praised his own cleverness. If he hadn’t taken a walk outside first, Aunt wouldn’t be sitting here with a blank expression—her face would’ve been pitch black with fury by now.

“Oh! Sent your little girlfriend home already?” Aunt said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Shen Xiyan felt a headache coming on. “Auntie, can we please talk like normal people?”

“Sure! Confess and you’ll be treated leniently. Resist and the punishment gets worse! Now be honest—when did the two of you start dating?”

“Today— Wait, no! We’re not even dating, so how could there be a ‘when’?”

“Not dating? Then why’d she come over and greet the family?”

“Not dating? Then why’d she skip the air conditioning and help out in the kitchen?”

“Not dating? Then why was she so sweet? Calling me ‘Auntie’ every other sentence, and you by your full name?”

“Not dating? Then what was all that sneaky stuff under the table? The last people that acted like that were Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian!”

“???”

“Not dating? Then why did she give me a premium health check card?”

A barrage of accusations. Shen Xiyan couldn’t dodge a single one.

Honestly, who could blame Aunt for jumping to conclusions? The whole situation felt absurd, like something out of a fantasy.

“I Googled that health check card,” she said.

“Turns out regular folks don’t get that—only big corporate clients. Your little girlfriend is no ordinary girl.”

“Stop! She’s not my girlfriend, really! Wenwen can vouch for me. She’s in the same school and same year as me. We didn’t even know each other before today. Otherwise, how could I have hidden it from her?”

“Exactly! If Qin Sheng is a swan, then my brother is a toad—no, the lump on a toad’s back!”

“Hey now, isn’t that a bit much?”

Jiang Xi refused to let them mock her like that and tugged lightly on Shen Wen’s ear.

Shen Wen immediately shot Aunt a pitiful look, her eyes wide and watery with faux grievance.

“Don’t look at me like that. For all we know, your brother’s scamming all of us.”

“I’m not! Lin Ci can confirm everything too. I really only met Qin Sheng after school. All that stuff about surveys and knowing each other from before? Total lies. I just couldn’t expose it in front of everyone with how you were acting…”

Aunt really liked Qin Sheng.

If Shen Xiyan had confronted her in public, it would’ve been a disaster. Doing damage control in private was much safer.

Aunt’s expression froze. She lifted her beautiful, delicate face and looked at him incredulously.

“Lied to me? You mean Qin Sheng lied to me?”

“Exactly!” Shen Xiyan saw an opening and pushed forward. “She totally fooled you. Took you for a fool. Not a single word out of her mouth was true.”

“But I heard her myself in the kitchen…”

Aunt suddenly froze—then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. “She went that far just to lie? Does she really like you that much?”

“Or maybe her brain’s just a little… off.”

“If she’s ‘off,’ then you’re crazy lucky. That girl’s the prettiest I’ve ever seen in my life…”

“That just means you’ve lived a sheltered life. I’ve got nothing more to say. I’m going back to my room to do homework. Don’t take it seriously. That girl’s got issues, okay?”

Aunt ignored him and grabbed Shen Wen. “Wenwen, quick, tell me everything you know about her. What’s her deal?”

“I don’t know much… Just that she’s ranked number one on the campus beauty list…”

“Hold up—campus beauty list?” Aunt snorted. “What kind of outdated, cheesy trope is that? What have you been reading, 2000s web novels?”

“No, I’m serious! It’s a real thing. Always has been. Just a bunch of bored guys on Tieba keeping track.”

Aunt’s eyes sparkled. “So, what’s your rank?”

Shen Wen shyly held up three fingers. “Fifth…”

“Unacceptable! You’re only fifth? Then what about Lin Ci?”

“At least that one makes sense.”

“Auntie!”

Shen Wen felt completely caught in the crossfire. “Weren’t we talking about Qin Sheng? Why are we talking about me now?”

“Oh… right, right. Continue.”

“She’s an art student. I heard her family’s loaded.”

“Figured as much…” Aunt weighed the card in her hand—it felt heavy, suspiciously so. “Then why on earth would someone like her fall for your brother?”

“I told you—it’s probably blackmail. Or maybe she’s after his kidneys!”

Aunt gave her a light smack on the head. “Tch! What do you have in that brain of yours?”

“What? I just meant organ harvesting! What’s wrong with that?”

Another smack.

“That’s exactly what I meant too.”

***

In the bedroom.

Just as Shen Xiyan opened his door, he heard a knock on the adjacent window.

He slid it open—and there was Lin Ci, leaning halfway out her own window, looking at him with a mix of poutiness and annoyance.

“What took you so long? You’ve been eating forever.”

“…Got caught up chatting a bit.”

“Well, come blow-dry my hair already. I’ve been waiting ages.”

Shen Xiyan froze. He repeated her words slowly: “Me… blow-dry your hair?”

“What’s the problem?”

It suddenly came back to him like a dream.

They used to do this all the time.

Their bedrooms were right next to each other, with burglar bars outside, so they usually climbed through the windows whenever they needed something.

Lin Ci had hair all the way down to her waist. Washing it was a hassle.

She was too old to ask her parents for help, and doing it herself was exhausting—so naturally, she conscripted him as her personal hair-dryer.

“I haven’t showered yet. Want to wait a bit?”

He needed time to collect himself.

They hadn’t been this close in a while. Small talk was fine, but one-on-one like this… it made him nervous.

“If I wait any longer, my hair will dry on its own. I’m not shy about it, so just get over here.”

“…Fine.”

Clumsily, Shen Xiyan climbed through the window.

Lin Ci’s room was all soft pinks and whites, filled with the cozy vibes of a modern teenage girl.

Her bed was sprinkled with plush stuffed animals, and there was even a scale in the corner—probably standard equipment for every girl.

A love-hate relationship, no doubt.

Without a scale, you’d panic just from drinking a glass of water.

With a scale, watching the numbers creep up felt like the end of the world.

“Where’s the hairdryer?”

“In the drawer. Don’t you already know that?”

“R-Right…”

If Qin Sheng’s trademark was her long legs, then Lin Ci’s was her snow-white skin.

She was the fairest girl Shen Xiyan had ever seen—not the pale of Europeans, but a soft, almost rosy white.

She looked like you could give her a gentle squeeze and water would come out.

“Wait—stop!”

Lin Ci suddenly shrieked and leapt at him, as if there were something in the drawer she didn’t want him to see.

But it was too late.

A boyfriend?

Shen Xiyan peeked inside with confusion—then raised an eyebrow. “A… razor?”

“G-Give it back…” Lin Ci’s cheeks were flaming red, and she reached out with tiny hands to snatch it.

“What do you even use this for? Shaving your armpits?”

“I don’t grow armpit hair!”

“Then it’s for your legs? No wonder your skin’s so smooth.”

“It’s not like that!” Lin Ci was fuming. She yanked the razor back. “I don’t grow any hair!”

“…Wait, what?”

Shen Xiyan hesitated, giving her a slow once-over. Then something clicked in his head, and he nodded thoughtfully.

The room suddenly fell into awkward silence.

“…So why’d you even buy a razor?”