Chapter 9: Daily Life of Cohabitation (2/4)

“Based on the ritual’s remnants and leftover items… the preliminary assessment is Destruction Demon, but it’s clear that this origin demon looked down on the sacrificer, so the ritual failed and caused an explosion.”

That’s that.

The white-robed figure wearing the Plague Doctor Mask gave his initial conclusion.

“Probably a rookie, didn’t even get the time and place right. The Destruction Demon’s sacrificial ritual has to be held on a new moon night. What an absolute—”

The Plague Doctor Mask was not the same person as before. His tone was tinged with faint mockery, as if saying he could do better.

“Tch… Such a headache…” Lu Xiu sighed, “Now even beginners can get access to this kind of origin demon… It’s obvious someone’s deliberately spreading demon information on a wide scale.

That’s it.”

“You mean… there’s likely a gang behind this?”

The Plague Doctor Mask immediately picked up on the implication in Lu Xiu’s words.

“How else do you explain a clueless fool finding a cannon? Just handled it wrong and ended up blowing himself up with a barrel explosion.”

“I’ll report your suspicion to the other departments.”

The Plague Doctor Mask bowed slightly. Lu Xiu waved him off and led me out of the scene.

“Aren’t we staying here?”

I cradled a cup of Kuyan Fire Village in my hands, sipping as I walked. Lu Xiu had bought it for me from a milk tea shop on the street when I wouldn’t stop pestering him for food, so he used this to keep me busy.

The taste was really good, something I’d never tried before.

“There’s no use in staying here. The rest is up to the Department of Aftercare and White Tower to handle. What needs to be covered up will be covered, what needs to be dealt with will be dealt with…”

“Oh.”

I slurped up a mouthful of jelly pearls, eyes squinting with satisfaction.

Delicious.

“Haicao Tuan, I want to drink more of this.”

“If you behave, you get it. If not, you don’t.”

“Behave? Haven’t I been good?”

I didn’t even try to eat you today.

“…Sometimes I really don’t know if you’re being sincere or sarcastic.”

“Of course I mean it! I never lie.”

I patted my stomach in assurance.

“So who was it this morning that kept shifting the blame for the bedsheets?”

I sipped my milk tea in silence, refusing to respond.

This guy really knows how to hit where it hurts.

Back home, I flopped onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

“Haicao Tuan, can I bite you?”

“If you want to chew on something, find a stone.”

Stones taste bad and are harder to digest than robots.

Ding dong.

Just as I was so bored that I started using my big tongue as a pillow, the doorbell rang. Lu Xiu stood up and picked up a square box from outside the door.

“What’s this?”

“Your clothes.” He set the box on the table, took a Knife from his pocket, sliced open the tape, and opened it in front of me.

“My clothes?”

“Yeah, I asked a female colleague to help buy you some clothes and some educational books.”

He rummaged around, pulling out the books, “This one’s to teach you how to read, and this, this teaches you Common Sense of Human Society…”

Ugh.

“I’m not listening, I’m not listening!”

I covered my ears, feeling like he was chanting scriptures.

A faint sense of dread crept up.

That was aversion to knowledge.

“This isn’t up to you! I’ll be assigning you homework! And checking every day.”

My eyes widened: “You’re a Super Demon!”

So bad you’re oozing rot.

“Better than being annoyed to death by you.”

He said it like it was nothing.

No way! I refuse to study!

I’m running away.

“If you dodge or hide, I’ll electrocute you.”

“Ehh—” That killed the idea instantly, “I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to study—”

A sweet taste spread in my mouth. I looked down and saw he’d shoved a red fruit into my mouth, blocking my words.

Munch.

Chomp chomp chomp

I started gnawing on the fruit.

“Of course, if you study well, there’ll be rewards. Big meals, tasty food, all sorts of rewards.”

I was still conflicted.

“If you can truly blend into human society, follow the rules, then you could even be free of Surveillance. No more wearing Constraint every day…”

“Really…?”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

I frowned, but with my brain full of food, I couldn’t think of a single counter-example for now.

“Then I want Kuyan Fire Village every day.”

“If you do well, I’ll buy you two cups.”

That good?

No problem, then.

Once we made the deal, he visibly relaxed, showing relief on his face for the first time.

Even the dark circles under his eyes seemed lighter.

“Oh, right, Haicao Tuan.”

“Hmm?”

“My stomach feels weird, like something’s coming out.”

“…Not what I think, is it?”

I don’t know what you’re thinking, I just know I feel uncomfortable.

I stuck my tongue out, wanting to gag.

He quickly got up, fetched the trash can from the corner of the living room, and put it in front of me, patting my back with one hand.

After dry heaving for a while, I looked up.

“I don’t want to vomit anymore.”

He let out a long breath, set the trash can aside, and sat on the sofa in silence, staring off into space.

“Ptooey.”

I spat out some saliva, wiped my mouth.

And started to feel hungry again.

“Suì.”

“Hm?”

“Stop biting your toes.”

I reluctantly put my foot down.

***

In the end, he still brought me to the bathroom on the second floor.

“These are your clothes. Don’t mix them up. The new towel is hanging on the shelf, the pink one. The blue one’s mine, don’t mix those up either.”

“Okay okay.”

He nodded, took a step out, then quickly turned back, “Right, you… know how to put on clothes, right?”

He gave up completely.

So he found a few pieces of clothing and started demonstrating.

“This is the collar, put your head through it. This is the sleeve, put your arm through it…”

“So troublesome…”

“How lazy can you get?”

“I don’t want to wear clothes.”

“If you don’t want to miss out on good food for the rest of your life, be my guest.”

“Then I’ll wear clothes.”

“This is a shirt, with buttons. This is a hoodie, you just pull it over…”

I nodded. Shirts are thinner than hoodies, probably taste lighter if you eat them.

“Got it now?”

“Got it.”

I nodded for sure.

“Hope so…”

Lu Xiu hugged that pile of clothes and left the bathroom, leaving a lonely silhouette behind.

About half a quarter of an hour later, steam curled along the floor. I dried off and went downstairs after getting dressed.

Lu Xiu was lying on the couch, looking at his phone, propping his face on one hand. When he saw me coming, his gaze shifted from the screen to me.

Plop.

That was the sound of the phone slipping from his hand and falling to the floor.

“Eh? What’s wrong?”

Seeing his dazed expression, I glanced down at myself in curiosity.

The clothes were on right, nothing wrong.

He finally snapped out of it, looking at me with a complicated expression: “I’m really stupid, honestly…”

He suddenly started beating himself up.

“I thought if I explained clearly, you could infer the rest and get it…”

Sounded like he was scolding me?

I frowned.

“I did exactly as you said, so why aren’t you happy? You’re impossible to please.”

He burst out laughing in exasperation.

“So you mean I told you to wear underwear on your head, is that it?”

“Isn’t it supposed to go on your head?”

Underwear has two holes, and I have two horns on my head. How could anything in this world fit so perfectly!

Where else would you wear it if not there?

“I think this is your problem. You demonstrated wrong.”

“…You’re unbeatable.”

He gave up arguing, picked up his phone, and headed for the bedroom.

See, I knew it. He was the one in the wrong.

He can’t even talk back anymore.