“Dad… I… can’t eat anymore…”
The girl nervously explained, even though she didn’t understand why she needed to explain.
But at this moment, Lin’s father’s expression turned terrifyingly cold.
Like her mother, Lin’s father rarely cared about her since she was young.
He was always working outside, but their relationship was somewhat better than with her mother.
That was why she could still call him “Dad.”
Perhaps it was because Lin Xinyuan felt a bit closer to her father…
But now, the father who never used to get angry at her—who would even occasionally show concern before she went to university—was gone.
That look in his eyes was something she had never seen before from anyone familiar.
It was called disgust…
“Bring the bowl back and eat another bowl.”
Lin’s father’s voice was frighteningly cold.
The girl dared not argue and reluctantly started walking back to her original seat.
But her father was in no hurry.
He simply watched her return until she handed him the bowl.
Taking the bowl, he filled it to the brim with rice, pressing it down firmly with the rice spoon until it could be pressed no more.
“Finish it.”
Saying that, Lin’s father resumed eating on his own.
By the time he finished, there was still two-thirds of the rice left in the girl’s bowl.
Lin Xinyuan was already painfully full, the discomfort from overeating mixed with the suppressed nausea brought tears to her eyes.
She dared not cry because she knew her father hated people who cried.
So she forced herself to hold back and lowered her head even further.
Silently, she kept her head down and ate.
Lin’s father glanced at her long black hair that nearly touched her shoulders and spoke with a trace of displeasure, “Hair this long… only girls do this. Go get it cut outside tomorrow and come back, understand?”
“I… understand…”
“Change those clothes too later. You look neither man nor woman… what would the people in the village think? Hmph…”
“I understand…”
“I understand…”
“I understand…”
His words grew longer, all about how Lin Xinyuan dressed, filled with insults as if venting something.
The girl could only respond numbingly, lacking any spirit to resist.
Only when Lin Xinyuan had almost finished her rice did Lin’s father slowly stand up, preparing to take a bath.
Before leaving, he said, “After you finish eating, remember to drink a bowl of soup and clean up the dishes.”
With that, he didn’t care about her anymore and left without hesitation.
“…”
After finishing the rice once again, Lin Xinyuan felt severe stomach pain.
Her abdomen groaned under the burden, a sour wave rushing to her throat.
She scooped a bowl of soup and drank it carelessly.
Lin Xinyuan usually liked soup and even cooked it herself, but never had she hated it as much as now.
So awful to drink…
So disgusting…
Night snack culture in China was particularly developed, with Guangdong Province standing out the most.
A decent night snack stall would normally operate from seven or eight at night until dawn.
No matter how cold the weather, it could not stop the passion for night snacks among people in Zhan Nan.
Setting up small square tables, colorful plastic stools, plugging in power for light bulbs, setting up the barbecue grill—thus a night snack stall officially opened.
With New Year approaching, university students were gradually on holiday.
Getting together with a few old friends to eat was a rare joy each year…
But no matter how lively the atmosphere outside was, it had nothing to do with the girl.
In the dark room, Lin Xinyuan quietly leaned against the bed with no sign of sleepiness.
The pain in her stomach continued, and waves of nausea rose again and again.
Tears slid down involuntarily.
The tightly closed door couldn’t completely block the noise from the living room.
The TV’s clamor and the occasional sound of an iron can dropping to the floor pierced through.
To her, these noises were like nails on a chalkboard—unceasing and unbearable…
Perhaps she once held a sliver of hope for her father, but after seeing that piercing gaze, Lin Xinyuan already knew how naive she had been.
That look—she had only seen it on certain people before.
Her body felt uncomfortable, and she longed for a hot bath, but he was outside… she dared not go out now…
Eyes closed, then opened again, repeatedly.
Zhou Gong seemed to drift farther away.
Her heart was anything but calm, filled with anxiety…
Just then, footsteps sounded outside the door, getting closer.
The pace was uneven and irregular.
Lin Xinyuan’s heart clenched completely.
No one else could be outside but Lin’s father.
The footsteps grew louder, stopping right in front of her door.
“Wh… why is the door closed… Damn it, open up!”
Lin’s father’s voice was sluggish, broken, slurred with drunkenness.
Although not loud, it carried an oppressive force.
Inside, Lin Xinyuan had already sat up fully, clutching the blanket, her eyelashes trembling.
She knew her father was starting to lose control due to the alcohol, so she did not dare open the door immediately.
Drunk to the point of ruin, seeing no movement at the door, he kicked it fiercely and shouted, “You’re not asleep, are you? Come… come out. If you don’t come out, I’ll kick this door down!”
The girl had never seen her father like this before.
A man in his physical prime, hardened by years of manual labor, strong enough to be frightening even when drunk.
His kick made a dull bang on the door, which shook dangerously…
Only then did the girl realize the consequences of not opening the door could be worse than opening it.
She dared not make her father wait any longer.
She got out of bed, approached the door, took a deep breath, and anxiously but slowly turned the handle.
“547…”
Her face was deathly pale, her lips trembling in fear, heart pounding, dizzy and weak.
Why…
Lin Xinyuan didn’t know why the symptoms she suffered from others would one day be reflected back from her own family…
Her fragile appearance was pitiful, but to her father, it was like a thorn in the eye.
“Come out!”
The man’s arms were strong.
Before Lin Xinyuan could react, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her roughly out from behind the door.
“No.”
The heavy smell of alcohol hit her face.
She opened her eyes wide, trembling violently all over, but powerless to resist.
She was dragged like a rag by her father.
Only when they reached the sofa did he finally let go of her.
The living room was lit only by the TV’s glow.
The previously neat coffee table was now littered with empty cans and leftover barbecue sticks.
The mixed stench made the girl’s nausea surge again, nearly uncontrollable.
Drunk and unable to control his emotions, Lin’s father stared at Lin Xinyuan with undisguised disgust.
Swaying unsteadily, he reached out and touched the girl’s face.
A flash of confusion crossed his eyes, quickly replaced by overwhelming negativity.
“You’re definitely not Lin Xinyuan, right?”
As he spoke, he pinched her pale, tender face hard enough to leave red marks.
Lin Xinyuan cried out in pain but didn’t dare resist.
At the sound of her soft, hurt cry, Lin’s father’s chest heaved violently, his eyes bloodshot.
He immediately let go as if touching something filthy.
“Monster, it has to be a monster! How could this happen!”
“You monster, how could I have a son like this!”
“Hahaha, she even wants half my house—nothing at all!”
“Must be hired people conspiring to trick me! To get revenge!”
“Hahaha…”
Lin’s father laughed wildly, his words illogical and frenzied.
Hearing those two words from her biological father stunned the girl into numbness, her breath forgotten.
She had prepared herself, but hearing it from someone who once treated her relatively well was like pouring salt into a wound.
Long-suppressed doubts, self-loathing, and negative emotions flooded her mind, spreading like a virus.
“No… I’m not a monster…” She shook her head violently, her head aching sharply. “Ah…”
Crying out in pain, her chest spasming, an unprecedented bitterness filled her heart. “I’m not… I’m not…”
She muttered repeatedly, kneeling on the floor, tears brimming over, speaking nonsense.
“Get out! You annoy me now! Neither man nor woman, a freak…”
The more Lin’s father looked at her, the angrier he grew.
Drunk and intoxicated, he showed no mercy even as she cried her heart out. Like trash, he dragged her toward the door.
No matter how much Lin Xinyuan resisted, it was useless—the strength gap was too great.
Slowly, she stopped resisting…
It was no use…
The door slammed shut with force.
The girl stared at the tightly closed door, not a crack visible, silently crying.
Her vision blurred, she pounded on it, but there was no response inside—only the TV’s voices drifting out…
At some point, fragments in her mind replayed, overlapping with the present scene…
“I’m not… I’m Lin Xinyuan.”
“I really am… a boy…”
“I really am…”
“…”