As her sobs grew, Kangxi had to let go, only holding her loosely so she wouldn’t collapse, his heart tightening with uncontrollable panic.
He knew—if he didn’t speak now, he might never get another chance.
“What I said that day wasn’t from my heart. Please, let me explain…”
He wanted to explain, but Fang He didn’t want to listen.
She pushed him off the couch with all her strength, even kicking at him.
“I don’t want to hear it! Why didn’t you say this sooner—sob…”
“Before I entered the palace, you spoke so sweetly. Why did you want to change me once I was here?”
“Why do you always wait for me to come to you for an apology?”
“Because you’re the Emperor, I can’t be aggrieved, can’t take revenge, or it’s a crime. I hate myself for ever trusting you and coming back to the palace!”
“I’m pregnant, can’t move easily, can’t eat or sleep well, get up several times a night, my legs are more swollen than your arms—it’s all your fault!”
Unable to push Kangxi away, she gave up and just cried loudly.
“Go be your Emperor—so many people are lining up to serve you. I’ll never forgive you, never like you again. I want to live with the Empress Dowager. I’ll never trust you again—sob sob…”
The more Kangxi listened, the more shocked he became.
Every word was like a hammer to his heart.
Watching Fang He clutch her belly, crying until she collapsed on the couch, trembling all over and growing paler, Kangxi couldn’t think straight so he immediately shouted, “Summon the Imperial Doctor!”
Awkwardly supporting Fang He, all the words he’d mulled over these past days vanished.
“It was my fault. I never meant to kill anyone at Tianya Inn—I just… couldn’t let go.”
“I was never let down by you. With the Dzungars poised for war at any time, I feared you’d be targeted if I wasn’t around, so I pushed you to mature fast. I just struggle to express it.”
“I’m actually glad you can handle things on your own. I wanted you to become stronger, but I was also afraid you’d want to escape once you knew how filthy the Forbidden City was, so I didn’t say too much, and ended up disappointing you.”
Kangxi gently patted Fang He’s trembling shoulder.
In that moment, all his imperial dignity and self-control were forgotten.
He’d always forced this little fox to stay by his side—he’d accepted it.
That day… he was just too worried she didn’t understand the dangers and might be hurt by the harem, so he lost his temper and said those things out of pride.
“I’ve never forgotten your merits. That’s why, no matter what you do, I can never hold it against you… You don’t owe me. I owe you.”
Hearing footsteps outside, Kangxi paused, concerned that Fang He’s tears might lead her to harm herself, and let out a gentle sigh.
“Guoguo, I never wanted to clip your wings. I just… wanted you to look back and see that someone was always here for you, whenever you wanted to fly.”
Fang He didn’t reply.
Crying for real was exhausting, but also relaxing, leaving her limp and weightless.
She’d kept so much anger and frustration bottled up—not enough to ruin her life, but enough that she refused to swallow it herself.
Why should she have to forgive with a single sorry, when she was the one who suffered?
Why should his forcefulness end up being her fault—damn his tricks!
If they reconciled now, even if this moment passed, the next time something arose, he’d likely grow suspicious again, using rules to restrain her and never allowing her to retaliate.
For her own sake, she could fight back.
For her child, she’d be even fiercer.
She wanted him to know she never intended to be a good girl—either let go now or accept her as she is.
When Physician Zhang Yuyi entered behind Liang Jiugong, Fule and Cui Wei also came in to help Fang He wash up.
They’d all eavesdropped at the door, terrified out of their wits.
But after hearing the Emperor’s urgent, confused words, the four of them all bowed their heads, wishing they could shrink their ears away.
Anyway, they’d heard nothing.
Once outside Yanxi Palace, all they remembered was that an ancestor lived here—anything else, not a word, not even in their dreams.
After checking Fang He’s pulse, Physician Zhang Yuyi reported softly, “Your Majesty, Consort Zhao Pin was suffering from pent-up frustration, but after talking with you, the anger has dissipated. It’s not a bad thing.”
“I’ll discuss with Fule and prescribe two doses of the Anshen Dingzhi Formula to be taken with meals—no need for medicine.”
Kangxi’s face darkened.
“Pent-up frustration? Why didn’t you mention this before?”
Physician Zhang hurried to explain, “Consort Zhao Pin has always had some liver fire due to her regimen, so her pulse wasn’t obvious. Women are yin by nature and often have some stagnation. It doesn’t affect her or the heir’s health…”
He couldn’t say that this minor problem was nothing compared to his own wife beating their children with a fire poker.
Even men often suffered from pent-up anger and didn’t need medicine.
Why would he mention it?
Perhaps because he’d already lost face earlier, Kangxi now had no qualms.
After a pause, he asked, “If she scolds me more often, will that relieve the symptoms?”
Everyone: “……”
‘ … Is that something we should answer?!’
Physician Zhang pressed his forehead to the floor, almost in tears.
“Your Majesty, it’s better to do things that make Her Highness happy. Getting angry too often isn’t good for health—if it happens too much, it could lead to excessive liver yang.”
Fule glanced at him in confusion.
Liver fire and excessive liver yang weren’t the same at all.
Letting off steam was good—otherwise, why would marital harmony also help dissipate fire…
Cui Wei quietly moved her foot to block Fule’s silly expression.
She had a good memory and decent medical skills, but her brain was missing a few connections.
Kangxi pondered for a moment, then gave a deep order.
“You don’t need to be on duty at the front for now. When the time comes, you’ll be responsible for the birthing room and the nursemaids. If Consort Zhao Pin gives birth safely, I’ll reward you with a Yellow Riding Jacket.”
As for the alternative, Kangxi didn’t mention it, but Physician Zhang understood well enough.
He quickly agreed.
***
Kangxi rose and entered the bedchamber, sitting by the bed, gazing at Fang He, who was sleeping on her side, her face full of unspoken helplessness and some bitterness.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, until Liang Jiugong reminded him it was late.
With Liang Jiugong’s help, Kangxi undressed and quietly lay down beside Fang He, gently holding her hand.
Since getting pregnant, this troublemaker had even started sleeping more sedately.
Now, lying on a strange, oversized pillow, half her body sunken into it, with her limbs wrapped around it.
In his absence, she found she no longer needed him—or perhaps, she never truly did.
It was always him who insisted…
In the past, sleeping beside Fang He, Kangxi always slept well.
Even if she kicked him awake, he could easily pull her back into his arms and fall asleep again.
Now, staring at her peaceful but slightly swollen face, he couldn’t fall asleep for a long time.
When he finally drifted off, he was startled awake by movement—Fang He was getting up, rubbing her eyes.
“Fule… I need to pee—”
After rubbing her eyes, she was startled by Kangxi sitting up, and swallowed her words.
“I want to change clothes.”
Fule hurried in to help, and Kangxi got up too.
Fang He: “You want to change too?”
Kangxi tried to wake himself up.
“I’ll accompany you.”
Fang He: “…”
Accompany her to pee?
Was he crazy?
She brushed him off by saying, “Just get me some warm water, I’m thirsty!”
Kangxi turned, but Chunlai had already come in with warm water and took away the cold one.
After returning, Fang He gulped down the water and went right back to sleep.
Kangxi didn’t mind her ignoring him.
After venting like that, she hadn’t kicked him out—he was even a little happy.
After all, her anger showed she still cared.
Thinking this, Kangxi contentedly held Fang He’s hand and drifted off smiling… only to be kicked awake.
“My legs hurt! Hurry, rub them!” Fang He cried, flailing like an overturned turtle, unable to get up, wailing in pain.
“Ow—my legs! Why are you rubbing my legs?!”
Kangxi who was half-asleep and was kicked awake: “….”
Should he be rubbing her arms instead?
Fule came in, apologized to the Emperor, lifted the covers at their feet, and gently massaged Fang He’s toes, soles, and ankles.
After a while, Fang He’s breathing finally calmed.
That night, Kangxi was woken three times by Fang He’s movements, kicked once, and poked awake twice to help her turn over.
By morning, Kangxi felt like he hadn’t slept at all.
***
At Qianqing Palace, during the first morning court session after the New Year, Kangxi couldn’t help yawning, startling the Taizi, Da Ago, and all the officials.
Everyone finished their reports quickly; no one dared say a word too many.
In Hongde Hall, while reviewing memorials, Kangxi was so tired he had lunch half an hour early and napped for two hours.
“Is pregnancy really so hard?” Kangxi asked Liang Jiugong.
Liang Jiugong replied with a smile, “It’s said that giving birth is like passing through the gates of hell. Carrying a child is certainly not easy.”
Kangxi was thoughtful.
That afternoon, he sent two oral commands to A Ge Suo and Beiwusuo, ordering the princes and princesses to greet their mothers in the harem every day.
Before, the princes and princesses only needed to visit their mothers every three days.
The princesses were pleased with the new rule; it wasn’t a burden.
The princes who were busy with studies barely had half an hour every three days to spare.
This was an ancestral custom—to prevent the harem from having too much influence and interfering in politics.
Kangxi had never found it unreasonable before, but now he felt it was a bit heartless.
The Crown Prince, as heir, had to show filial piety every day, so why not the other children?
He ordered the teachers in Shang Shufang, and the riding and archery instructors, to cut half an hour from daily lessons so the princes could spend it with their mothers.
When the order reached Shang Shufang, Yinzhi and Yinqi’s cheers could be heard all the way to Hongde Hall.
Because Uya-shi had been sent out of the palace, Yinzhen, who had been gloomy, and Yinsi, who usually never offended anyone, were both so happy they held hands and smiled.
Yinzhen, raised by the Imperial Noble Consort, could now spend half an hour with her every day, plus half an hour less of lessons—what could be better?
Yinsi could use half an hour to visit Consort Hui at the Great Buddha Hall, and another half hour for his Mother—he found this decree extremely thoughtful.
They all thought Kangxi was moved to filial piety after the Grand Empress Dowager’s sudden fainting.
But the consorts and the more sensitive princesses thought deeper.
This order came out right after the Emperor spent the night at Yanxi Palace.
Consorts with children were happy, but more than seeing their children every day, they wanted them to have a good future.
Thinking that Consort Zhao Pin’s child wasn’t even born yet and the Emperor was already changing the rules of Shang Shufang, the joy in the harem was tinged with sourness.
Kangxi, however, gave it no thought.
After sleeping more in the day, he was lively again at night.
After finishing his paperwork, he left without a word.
Even the newest palace servants knew where the Emperor was going, but Liang Jiugong had no choice but to block his way.
“Reporting to Your Majesty, Wei Zhu from Yanxi Palace just came by and said that Consort Zhao Pin is worried about disturbing Your Majesty’s rest at night and asks that you visit during the day instead.”
Liang Jiugong had never heard of a consort picking the time to serve the Emperor—it sounded more like scheduling a memorial service.
But thinking again, what hasn’t that ancestor done?
Liang Jiugong wasn’t flustered.
He spoke calmly, watching Kangxi narrow his eyes and fidget.
Kangxi wasn’t surprised that Fang He sent a message.
After reading the medical books from the Imperial Doctors, he understood that women showed different symptoms at various stages of pregnancy.
Given she was only six months along, last night’s symptoms were definitely from crying and sleeping early—he didn’t believe she drank so much water every night.
If she wasn’t doing it on purpose, he’d let Fang He use his head as a stool.
He patted Liang Jiugong’s hat and said, “Go to Yanxi Palace again. Tell her I know she’s worried about the Grand Empress Dowager’s health every day.”
“I’ll be at Cining Palace during the day. If she wants news, I can only visit Yanxi Palace at night. If she doesn’t, I’ll wait until the Grand Empress Dowager recovers.”
Liang Jiugong: “…You just love to torment your servant, don’t you!”
On his way to Yanxi Palace, Liang Jiugong still couldn’t figure out why the Emperor was so sure Consort Zhao Pin was worried about the Grand Empress Dowager.
Although she’d played a key role in the Grand Empress Dowager’s recovery, he just didn’t see her as so filial.
But when he delivered Kangxi’s message, Fang He nearly choked on her pastry, her lovely eyes going wide.
Of course she wasn’t that filial!
Patting her chest and drinking water, she put on a serious face.
“The Old Ancestor’s health is most important. Let His Majesty tend to her first.”
“The Emperor still has morning court. I dare not delay his rest, so I sent word to Qianqing Palace. But—I know His Majesty is a loving father, so I dare not keep him from the children either!”
“Please tell the Emperor I’ll be waiting for him in Yanxi Palace to see the child.”
‘Damn it, she wasn’t that filial, but she was nosy!’
What did Uya-shi do, anyway?!