Inside the narrow bathroom, the hazy steam had yet to fully dissipate, and the air was filled with the sweet, damp fragrance of body wash.
Aina Saiten leaned against the cold, damp porcelain tiles, sitting on the plastic stool prepared specifically for this small space.
Warm water trickled down from the shower, pattering softly as it danced and flowed across her skin.
She closed her eyes in contentment, her right hand spreading its fingers, moving with utmost gentleness and a hint of comfort as she massaged the scalp of her boyfriend, who knelt in front of her.
Her fingertips moved between his wet, soft hair, and every so often, she would carefully tuck those damp strands, slipped to his cheeks as he bowed his head, gently behind his ears, afraid they would get dirty.
Yet, as Aina Saiten basked in this intimate atmosphere, deep inside, she couldn’t quite shake the strangeness and confusion that her boyfriend had actually volunteered for this tonight.
Long ago, at the height of their affection, she had half-coaxed, half-begged Akane to try such intimacy, but his nearly obsessive compulsive cleanliness made him turn pale halfway through.
He’d shoved her away abruptly, collapsed at the bedside, retching violently from a visceral nausea, his beautiful eyes brimming with tears.
After that, feeling sorry for him, Aina Saiten had never again, not even dared to mention such a thing.
But tonight, Akane was acting out of character, taking the initiative. The sudden change made ripples of doubt rise in her heart, even as she enjoyed it.
“Akane…”
She couldn’t hold back any longer. Her voice was a bit muffled in the sound of the shower, filled with careful curiosity,
“You… don’t you hate doing this? Why tonight…”
Kaoru Hoshitani, upon hearing this soft but direct question from his girlfriend, tensed up completely, especially his shoulders and back, his movements stiffening uncontrollably as if pricked by invisible needles.
His lowered head hung even lower, so Aina Saiten couldn’t see his expression, only the sudden tautness of his jawline.
Of course, he couldn’t tell Aina that this abrupt act of “devotion” was because, not long ago, he’d been forced by another woman to do similar—or even more humiliating—things.
That overwhelming, nearly tearing guilt gnawed at his heart like a venomous snake, driving him on as if only through this self-punishing “compensation” could he lessen the weight of his sin.
So, he chose silence.
His Adam’s apple bobbed painfully, swallowing back the protests and whimpers that almost escaped.
He did not answer. He only took a deep breath of the humid, stuffy air, trying to ignore the cramps twisting his stomach from the memories, continuing his act of atonement for his girlfriend.
But the body is always more honest—and more cruel—than the will.
Soon, his delicate brows knit tightly together in a pained crease, his once-steady breath growing rapid and erratic.
“Urgh…”
A suppressed, abrupt gag escaped from deep in his throat.
Aina Saiten stared in shock as her boyfriend suddenly clamped his pale, slender hands over his mouth, his thin shoulders shaking violently, his entire face draining of color, beads of cold sweat gathering at his temples, looking as if he might vomit at any moment.
Yet, in the end, he gritted his teeth, dry-heaving a few painful, empty retches, his throat letting out strained “kk” sounds, but nothing came up.
“Akane! Quick, just let it out! Don’t hold it in, it’s dirty…”
Aina Saiten was terrified by his condition, frozen for a second before she sprang to help him, her voice full of panic and heartache.
Kaoru Hoshitani gasped harshly, finally managing to force down the roiling nausea.
He raised his eyes to meet his girlfriend’s worried gaze, his pretty doe-eyes misted with pain from the violent physical reaction, flickering with embarrassment he could not hide.
He forced a smile, trying to reassure her, but it was so weak and strained it seemed like a candle in the wind, about to be snuffed out any moment.
“I-It’s fine…”
His voice was hoarse and weary from retching,
“As long as it’s Aina… I don’t hate it.”
These words sounded as much like he was comforting her as desperately convincing himself.
He didn’t want to, could never accept, that he’d done things for that detestable woman that he’d never done for his beloved, understanding Aina.
To him, that was an unforgivable betrayal.
“Idiot…”
Aina Saiten looked at him, forcing himself to endure and pretend to be strong, her heart twisting with an aching pain.
She didn’t ask anything more.
She simply opened her arms, pulling the trembling, wet body before her into a tight, tight embrace, as if to convey her understanding and acceptance to him through sheer closeness.
“If you don’t like it, Akane, then don’t do it. You never need to force yourself for me, okay?”
Her voice was soft as feathers, brushing gently against his taut nerves.
Hearing such tender, considerate words without a hint of reproach, Kaoru Hoshitani felt another surge of stinging warmth in his nose, tears threatening to spill out once more.
He felt, more deeply than ever, Aina’s absolute kindness to him. And that only made the guilt from his secret and “uncleanness” coil tighter around his heart like a vine, nearly suffocating him.
After that, Aina Saiten didn’t let him attempt anything that might make him uncomfortable.
She just held him gently, the two of them squeezed into a bathtub barely big enough for two adults, warm water enveloping their bodies.
They stayed that way, nestled together, skin to skin, quietly feeling each other’s heartbeat and warmth, sharing a pure, wordless embrace of comfort and solace.
“When I get a new work, and after we save for a few more years,”
Aina Saiten lowered her head, pressing her cheek gently against the back of Kaoru Hoshitani’s damp, fragrant hair, breathing in the clean scent that made her feel at peace.
Her voice carried hope for the future as she whispered,
“We’ll move to a bigger house, with a more spacious bathroom.”
She couldn’t help but want to give her treasured Akane a better, more comfortable environment, as if that could shield him from all the hardships and chaos of the world outside.
But Kaoru Hoshitani, hearing this, gently shook his head in her arms, his voice muffled but filled with unusual determination:
“There’s no need… Aina, I think… this is already good enough.”
This tiny, crowded space—full of memories they made together—was, right now, the only harbor where he felt safe and real.
Aina Saiten only smiled softly at that, saying nothing more.
She simply hugged him tighter, then took the lead in stepping out of the bathtub with him in her arms.
She wrapped them both in a soft, wide towel, drying every drop of water from herself and her boyfriend as if handling fragile treasures, then together, they returned to their small bedroom.
The curtains in the bedroom had long been drawn tight, shutting out the prying moon hanging high in the night sky, not leaving even the smallest crack.
Inside, the only source of light was the dimmable nightlight at the bedside, now turned to its lowest setting, just barely sketching the outline of the furniture and casting large, ambiguous shadows.
Lying on the soft bed, Kaoru Hoshitani gazed up at his girlfriend’s face above him.
In that faint light, most of her face was hidden in deep shadow, only a vague, familiar silhouette remaining.
Yet, as his consciousness faded and his mind grew hazy, there was a moment—terrifying in its clarity—when he saw his girlfriend’s gentle face distort and morph into another—
A face with cold, inorganic gray eyes like glass beads, a nose straight and sharp as a blade, features clear and aggressive—her face!
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