Just an unnecessary dampener on the festivities, a reminder to maintain decorum at the banquet so Kangxi wouldn’t make a spectacle of himself as a lustful fool in front of the court.
She understood Xiaozhuang’s conflicted sentiments all too well.
In this world, elders desired abundant descendants yet wished women were as unfeeling as wood, so Kangxi could remain a solitary ruler wholly devoted to the empire.
The more she grasped Xiaozhuang’s perspective, the more she felt the stifling sorrow of women in this feudal society-an anger she could neither swallow nor spit out.
At the banquet, even as the imperial clan and their ladies fixed their gazes on her, some bold enough to exchange veiled barbs with the consorts, Fang He paid no mind.
She maintained a detached politeness, offering only the bare minimum of courtesy.
This drew Kangxi’s repeated glances.
Seizing a moment when he stepped out, he asked Liang Jiugong, “What’s going on?”
Liang Jiugong bowed and replied, “Reporting to Your Majesty, Her Highness was summoned to Cining Palace this afternoon… She didn’t look well upon leaving.”
Kangxi frowned.
Around the Laba Festival, the Empress Dowager had briefly fainted.
The imperial physicians warned she needed careful tending, as even a minor ailment could prove fatal in these coming months.
The conversation had taken place outside the hall-if the Cining Palace servants overheard… then the Empress Dowager must know as well.
Was she trying to suppress Fang He, this unpredictable element, before her own passing?
Kangxi pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling irritated yet unsure who to direct his anger toward.
His grandmother meant well for him, and Fang He endured grievances to avoid provoking the Dowager Empress.
Yet he couldn’t help but feel distressed for that troublemaker.
Even if the Dowager Empress made things difficult for her, wasn’t he there to back her up?
How dare even the imperial relatives dare to shoot her with cold arrows?
Upon returning to the hall, it wasn’t long before Kangxi deliberately raised his voice, “I find this venison tendon quite well-prepared. Send some over to Consort Zha.”
Liang Jiugong responded loudly, carrying Kangxi’s specially designated golden tray to Fang He, his reply equally audible.
“Consort, please try this. His Majesty specifically ordered the imperial kitchen to prepare it. If it suits your taste, this servant will have another portion brought over.”
The Empress Dowager instinctively glanced at Grand Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang with concern, but the latter remained expressionless, showing no reaction.
Lady Tong Guowei, who had been gossiping about Fang He earlier, frowned and instinctively looked toward the Imperial Noble Consort at the head of the table.
Tongjia covered her mouth with a light cough.
She had caught a chill a few days ago and still hadn’t fully recovered.
Today, her head throbbed painfully, and she couldn’t be bothered to watch that seductress and the Emperor perform their little act.
At any rate, Fang He’s favor was already an open secret.
If she spoke up now, she’d only humiliate herself.
Why bother?
Tongjia subtly glanced at the cold-faced Noble Consort Xuan, who was quietly reprimanding a palace maid, and sneered inwardly.
Better to let Fang He keep jumping around-the higher she climbed, the harder she’d fall.
Fang He didn’t immediately perk up just because Kangxi had her back.
Her period was coming soon, she had served him in bed the night before, and today some paper-thin old woman had picked at her yet she couldn’t even retort.
She really wasn’t in the mood to put on a show.
After taking a few small bites of the venison tendon, she lowered her eyes and quietly sipped her pear soup.
With her delicate, languid beauty, she certainly had the radiant charm of a favored consort-but none of the haughty air.
Grand Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang nodded inwardly.
It seemed the girl had taken her words to heart.
Her own health was failing, and she couldn’t endure much longer.
Before the banquet was halfway through, she and the Empress Dowager left early.
Fang He watched them depart with envy.
If only she were the Empress Dowager now.
She’d much rather curl up warmly under blankets, nibbling on melon seeds while listening to Cui Wei’s gossip, instead of enduring the prattle of these masked people.
Clicking her tongue lightly in annoyance, she irritably called for another bowl of pear soup.
When in a bad mood, something sweet always helps.
Maybe she could figure out how to make milk tea later…
Her thoughts wandered as she slowly drank the pear soup.
As the warm, sweet liquid settled in her stomach, she felt her whole body grow cozy-unaware that the maid who served her this time was an unfamiliar, inconspicuous one.
But then, all attendants inside the hall were vetted.
Unless they had a death wish, the Imperial Household Department wouldn’t let strangers serve.
Besides, the food tasters had tested everything she consumed multiple times.
Poisoning wasn’t a concern.
She drank with ease, feeling the warmth spread through her body, and unconsciously leaned back in her chair, her eyes half-closed in drowsiness.
“Consort Zha? Consort Zha!” A slightly shrill voice startled Fang He, who had begun to drift into sleep.
It was Consort Xuan.
Seeing her lazy and languid state, a flash of jealousy flickered in Consort Xuan’s eyes.
“Consort Zha seems tired? Of course, serving His Majesty day and night must be exhausting-how else would you earn his pity?”
“As the Dowager Empress once said, we should all learn from Consort Zha.”
“Did you crawl under my bed?” Fang He’s mind was foggy, and suddenly she couldn’t hold back anymore.
She sneered, “Or are you planning to crawl under it to learn? Then you’d better ask His Majesty if he’s willing lest you startle the imperial presence again.”
She emphasized the word “again,” making sure everyone caught the implication.
The imperial relatives, who had been toasting and chatting, all turned in shock-first to Fang He, then to Consort Xuan, then back again…
These two consorts must have lost their minds, forgetting the gravity of the occasion.
The Noble Consort, the Imperial Consort, Consort Hui, and Lady Zha-all those who had clashed with Fang He before lowered their eyes to hide their smirks.
Consort Xuan hated nothing more than being humiliated, but she still remembered they were in the Cining Palace.
She glared coldly at Fang He.
“I advise Consort Zha to watch her words! Everyone has their youthful follies, but given your age, if you still don’t know better, the Dowager Empress will surely reprimand you.”
Fang He’s temper flared at that.
She let out a sharp laugh.
How well-informed they all were!
Somehow, the warmth in her body had turned into fury, surging straight to her head.
She couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Are you saying you only acted foolishly in your youth? If I recall correctly, you were still making a fool of yourself by year’s end!”
She let her pent-up frustration spill out.
If she didn’t vent now, she’d suffocate.
Why should she suffer alone?
If she wasn’t happy, no one else would be either.
Cui Wei sensed something was wrong.
Drawing closer, she caught a faint whiff of alcohol on her mistress.
Her heart sank; she knew from Chunlai exactly how little her mistress could hold her liquor.
And of all times, the Emperor had just left to change after a servant spilled wine on him.
She hurried forward to pull Fang He back.
“Mistress, please don’t—”
“Shut up!” Fang He snapped.
To hell with it all!
If even the Buddha had left, why shouldn’t the Monkey King wreak havoc?
Seeing the crowd staring, Fang He slammed the table and stood up abruptly.
“What are you all gawking at? Even street performers get paid for their shows-have you paid a single coin to watch this?”
She planted her hands on her hips and smirked at Consort Xuan, who was fuming.
“You dare lecture me about propriety? How many times have you told yourself that before pointing fingers at others?”
Consort Xuan was on the verge of passing out from rage.
“You-you-“
“Spit it out! I’ve heard the northern Mongols breed heroes-even their women rival men. The Dowager Empress and the Empress Dowager are truly admirable. But you—” Fang He hiccuped, then slammed the table again.
“-Let me tell you this: even turtles won’t swallow weights, yet you’re dead set on opposing His Majesty. Are you even more stubborn than a turtle?”
Fuquan and several imperial relatives nearly choked on their wine, stunned by this vulgar squabble.
They struggled between laughter and restraint, their faces contorted.
Only Changing was laughing so hard he nearly slid under the table.
This little Third Sister-in-law was simply too amusing-no wonder Third Brother liked her so much…
The Crown Prince and Eldest Prince were present too, both staring at Fang He in shock.
They didn’t even think to intervene since no actual fight had broken out.
Each of them, surrounded by a cluster of younger brothers, unconsciously stuffed chunks of braised pork into their mouths, finding the spectacle of Consort Zha’s scolding oddly entertaining.
Consort Xuan’s face flushed crimson, her entire body trembling with rage as she roared, “Zhashuli, how dare you be so insolent!”
“This is a provocation against the Borjigit clan! I will report this to the Grand Dowager and have you punished!”
“Ooooh, I’m so scared!” Fang He pushed Cui Wei aside, her mind already muddled, but her words sharp.
“You’re targeting me because you can’t stand the Emperor favoring me, aren’t you? So tell me, who’s really provoking whom? It’s not me challenging the Borjigit clan—it’s you challenging His Majesty!”
The words struck like a slap.
“Honestly, Consort Xuan, you must be the most formidable woman in the palace. No one could possibly outdo you. If I were you, I wouldn’t even wait for the Grand Dowager’s verdict. I’d just bash my head against the wall right now!”
With the argument now involving Northern Mongols, Fuquan and Changing could no longer stay seated.
Changing quickly interjected, “Ladies, let’s not go too far. Drunken words shouldn’t be taken seriously. Once you sober up, whoever regrets it will know.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Fang He grew more aggrieved, especially when she spotted a certain figure in bright yellow robes entering from outside.
She glared furiously.
“Ugh! Monster! Can’t I even speak the truth?!”
Changing: “……?”
Since when was he the monster?!
Cui Wei was on the verge of tears, kneeling and begging Fang He, “Your Highness, you’ve had too much to drink. Please stop!”
Kangxi, hearing the commotion, rushed in and snapped coldly, “Escort Consort Zha away at once!”
Fang He let out a loud sniffle, “I didn’t drink!”
When someone tried to pull her, she leaped onto a chair, glaring at the palace maid.
“Don’t you dare touch me, or I’ll tell the Grand Dowager and the Empress Dowager to have your head chopped off! I’m very good at begging!”
Kangxi: “Zhashuli!”
The surrounding laughter grew louder.
The maid froze, while Kangxi’s temple throbbed visibly.
Fang He suddenly raised her hand.
“Here! Present! I’m the little cutie no one cheers for!”
Fuquan couldn’t hold back anymore, his shoulders shaking as if he’d caught some terrible illness.
The other imperial relatives weren’t faring much better.
The noblewomen, however, weren’t laughing.
Most frowned at Fang He, thinking of a woman making such an undignified scene in public.
Truly ought to bash her head against the wall as she’d said, if only to spare the imperial family further embarrassment.
Kangxi strode forward, scooped Fang He up in his arms, and ordered sternly—
“Investigate immediately who served Consort Zha alcohol!”
“Once found-execute by beating!”
The crowd shuddered.
The noblewomen finally realized: Consort Zha had a low tolerance for alcohol.
She couldn’t have drunk this much on her own; she’d been tricked.
An elderly princess consort quavered, “But Your Majesty, the New Year is no time for bloodshed…”
Kangxi cut her off with an icy glare.
“Today it’s strong liquor for Consort Zha. Tomorrow, it could be poison in my cup. Do you suggest I let this go?”
The princess consort hastily knelt.
“This humble one wouldn’t dare!”
Seeing Kangxi’s fury, the others quickly knelt and begged the emperor to calm down.
Huh?
“The banquet shall continue. I shall return shortly,” Kangxi said indifferently, tossing out these words before carrying the nearly unconscious Fang He out the door.
Liang Jiugong had already prepared the imperial sedan.
Kangxi carried Fang He inside.
The moment he sat down, he felt the body in his arms trembling slightly.
Reaching out to wipe her face, his hand came away wet with tears.
His heart swelled with both anger and pity.
Anger that anyone dared scheme against Fang He right under his nose, and pity for the awkward situation she would have to face afterward.
Just as he was about to speak words of comfort, Fang He began sobbing.
“Wuwu… If Your Majesty is angry, could you just chop off half my head?”
“Don’t ignore me, Your Majesty. I’m your little cabbage. Being vegetarian is good, right?”
“Wuwu, the ancestors scolded me. I won’t have a stove to use anymore. Maybe… maybe you shouldn’t come during summer?”
Kangxi: “……”
Torn between pity and the urge to spank her.
Fang He, completely unaware, hiccuped and squirmed in Kangxi’s embrace.
“The months in between can be… can be my time for reflection~ I’m Monkey King. Monkey King only cares about strength, not brains.”
Kangxi, unfamiliar with who Monkey King was, asked softly, “What strength does Zha have?”
Fang He put a finger to her lips, adopting a mysterious air.
“Shh-can’t let others hear. Come closer, I’ll tell you.”
Kangxi paused, then leaned down as she instructed, only to feel her warm, sweetly alcoholic breath whisper into his ear-
“My skill is a biiig- secret. It’s…”
“What is it?” Kangxi raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious to hear what truths wine might loosen from her lips.
But there was no continuation.
Turning his head, he found her already asleep.
Kangxi: “…………”
This wretch always had a way of making it impossible to pity her for more than a moment!
Fortunately, the sleeping Fang He was far more docile than her drunken, awake self.
Kangxi smoothly tucked her into bed.
Only after leaving the palace did the suppressed fury finally show on his face as he barked—
“Where are the shadow guards?”
Two black-clad figures emerged from the shadows, kneeling silently before Kangxi.
“Investigate every move made by everyone in the hall today, along with all the attending palace servants!” Kangxi’s voice was colder than the winter air.
“I grant you the Tian-ranked token. If you fail to uncover anything useful this time, consider yourselves dismissed from imperial service!”
The shadow guards’ movements within the palace were usually restricted, limited to areas near the Qianqing Palace.
Those assigned to the emperor’s personal protection could come and go from the front court with the Huang-ranked jade token.
During grand banquets, they could access areas between the front and rear courts with the Xuan-ranked token, as well as the palace gates.
The Tian-ranked token allowed access not only to the front and rear courts but also to the residences of princes and nobles outside the palace, with immunity from execution if caught.
Knowing too many imperial secrets, shadow guards who lost their positions faced only one fate.
Both men knew the emperor was beyond furious.
Not daring to utter a word, they kowtowed swiftly and vanished.
The next day, Fang He woke well past midmorning.
Opening her eyes, she felt disoriented.
Wasn’t she just at the palace banquet?
How did she suddenly end up in bed?
Cui Wei drew back the bed curtains to help her rise.
Turning her head, Fang He saw Cui Wei’s red, swollen eyes, and her heart sank abruptly.
“What happened?”
Cui Wei knelt again with tears streaming down her face.
“It’s all this servant’s fault for failing to detect the strong pear wine mixed into the pear soup, causing such—”
“Stop!” Fang He rubbed her throbbing temples, cutting off Cui Wei’s words.
“I’ll ask, you answer.”
Cui Wei wiped her tears and fell silent.
Fang He asked with unusual calm, “Will anyone die in the Tousuo Palace? Including you and me.”
After a slight hesitation, Cui Wei replied, “No deaths, but…”
Some things were far worse than death.
“Has anyone in the Tousuo Palace been punished?”
Fang He continued coolly, interrupting Cui Wei’s unnecessary hesitation.
Cui Wei instinctively shook her head.
“No, it’s only you, mistress, who suffered the injustice.”
Now fully awake, Fang He’s rationality had returned.
Having endured much through two lifetimes, she considered grievances meaningless as long as the payoff was worthwhile.
What office worker hadn’t suffered some indignities?
If she dwelled on them, she’d only be giving schemers more ammunition.
Rising to wash up, she said, “I’ll eat something first, then you’ll recount last night’s events in detail.”
She was hungry for the consequences of drunkenness, since they weren’t life-threatening or punitive, the worst was social humiliation.
But was she really that concerned with face?
Food first, then trouble-solving.
And if any trouble proved unsolvable…
Well, then eliminate the troublemaker!
The listlessness in her eyes from yesterday had completely vanished, replaced by a sparkling intensity, with an inexplicable excitement and storm brewing in their depths that no one else could see.
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