Even though the story had ended, no one could open their mouth.
Among them, two people especially couldn’t accept the story. Kang Hong-yeon and Saria were trapped in shock and couldn’t escape it.
They couldn’t accept that the protagonist of the story and the Kang Si-woo they knew were the same person.
“Is that… really true?”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking, but there’s not a single lie in what I’ve said, not even 1mg. If you’re really curious, just ask him yourself. If you ask the current Si-woo, he’ll probably talk about those days as if it was nothing.”
At those words from Jung Se-ah, Saria couldn’t hold back and yelled.
“That’s impossible! If what Hunter Jung Se-ah said is true, he could never speak so casually about it…!!”
“He’ll talk about it as if it was nothing?”
Saria cried out, her voice almost like a scream, as she clenched her throat.
But Jung Se-ah smiled bitterly, understanding.
“I’ve thought that way too.”
“What do you mean?”
“You think Si-woo is pretending, right? Or maybe you think he’s pushing himself too hard or secretly taking drugs while we’re not looking?”
Jung Se-ah had thought that way several times too.
She had been shocked when she heard he had stopped using drugs, and when he spoke casually with other women, she had worried that his mental state was beyond repair.
There were times when she thought when he held her hand so naturally, it might have been a sign of him heading toward suicide.
“But it turns out that’s not the case.”
“How is that possible?”
“Well, I guess we wouldn’t know unless we ask him directly, would we?”
Jung Se-ah’s gaze passed over Saria and looked beyond her.
It was then that the others realized how much time had passed.
They turned their heads with expressions that showed they hadn’t realized the time passing while they were engrossed in the story.
In the direction Jung Se-ah was looking, a man wearing a shower robe stood with a smile, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Is the story over?”
“There’s still plenty left… but maybe it’s better if I don’t say anything.”
“I agree. The fewer people who know about this, the better.”
Stories like this—dark and unpleasant—are better off with as few people knowing as possible.
“Above all, I absolutely hate situations like this. It’s when people listen to my past and change the way they look at me.”
“Oh my, then maybe it would’ve been better if I hadn’t said anything?”
“Well, not really.”
It wasn’t really something worth revealing, but it also wasn’t something she could hide for the rest of her life.
Above all, this mental illness wasn’t fully cured yet.
If she had to explain it, the treatment she had gone through was more of a forced patch-up than a proper cure.
And it wasn’t even a proper repair; it was a primitive method, where the broken parts were completely removed.
So, it was only a matter of time before it would relapse.
“And the reason I called you this time was also related to what my mentor told me.”
“That’s the first time I’m hearing that.”
“Well, of course. This is something no one here knows, not even anyone else.”
As Si-woo sat down, he spoke with an expression, as expected, that seemed indifferent to the whole situation.
“I think a few of my emotions have died off.”
“What?”
Even though it was something that should never be said with such a tone, Si-woo casually spoke it.
When was the last time Si-woo had loved someone?
For an ordinary person, it would be in middle or high school.
Even for someone who might be a little late, it would be in college.
At some point, everyone would feel the emotion of loving someone.
Whether that love bears fruit, or fades away without ever blooming.
That depends on the person, but everyone plants the seed of love in the soil of their hearts.
Even if it’s just a one-sided love, people plant the seed of love in their hearts and wait endlessly for the flower to bloom.
“Hm, I’m not sure when it was.”
But Si-woo never had that experience.
He didn’t have the luxury of loving someone in middle or high school.
Just getting through each day was painful, so he couldn’t afford to hold feelings of love for anyone.
Si-woo, who had chosen to live without understanding love, was soon scouted by Yu Ga-eun.
And for the first time in his life, he fell in love at a host bar.
“Seo-ha, no, Ga-eun noona was my first love.”
There was no special event like in the movies.
One day, he started wanting to see her face more, and even though other women seemed repulsive to him, Yu Ga-eun was an exception, someone he could love just for the two of them.
That’s why he didn’t quit his job as a host.
At least until he achieved his goals, he wanted to stay by her side.
So, even though he often thought about wanting to die, he continued working as a host.
“I thought, unlike everyone else, noona was the only one I liked.”
“….”
Yu Ga-eun couldn’t respond when she heard that.
Was it because it was an unexpected story?
Or was it because there was a special reason why she couldn’t accept those feelings?
No, it wasn’t that.
“But really, one day, I suddenly realized that when I saw you, I didn’t feel anything.”
The way Si-woo spoke about his first love felt so alien.
His usual smile, not fake or strange, but it carried emotion.
“There was nothing that should have made me lose my feelings, yet when I looked at you, I didn’t feel anything, just like that day when I thought about killing a customer.”
“That can happen, you know.”
Desperately, he tried to deny it.
The truth that he had understood in his mind was dismissed as a lie.
“Yes, as you said, it can happen. Love is a fickle emotion. Even without a special trigger, it can wither or change direction.”
At that time, Si-woo also thought it was no big deal, just like Yu Ga-eun did.
His dislike and hatred for women had overpowered the feelings of love.
He thought it was nothing, and though a little sad that his first love ended so quickly, he accepted it and moved on.
“But the problem is that it exploded somewhere else.”
Just a few days ago, he had been hosting customers he didn’t even want to meet, but it didn’t cause him pain.
Even though he had been taking light medication for an unexpected encounter, instead of wanting to run away, all he thought was, “Ah, another annoying woman has come to bother me.”
“Not just love, but even emotions like hatred and fear, I just couldn’t feel them.”
“You should’ve said that earlier!!!”
Yoo Ga-eun couldn’t hold it in and yelled.
“I was going to say it, but I was going to quit my job in a few months anyway, right?”
“That’s true, but…!!!”
“So, I just didn’t say anything. I figured once I started seeing a therapist in a few months, it would be fine, and to be honest, I felt this state was much better for me.”
The thoughts of self-harm and wanting to die had completely disappeared.
Thanks to being able to talk to women without taking medication, he could now train with not only Jung Se-ah but also Baek Eun-seol and Kitsunezawa, who came as customers.
Because there were no more emotional outbursts, it became much easier to talk with customers.
For a brief moment, he even thought that he could live his entire life without any problems.
“Well, then I went to see a psychiatrist and, as expected, I was diagnosed with emotional expression dysfunction.”
“So, have you gotten better?”
“I’m not sure. I was prescribed medication, but it didn’t really work, so I can’t tell if my emotions have come back or if my dysfunction is still there.”
His dates with Saria.
His meeting with Im So-yeon.
His farewell with Glacia.
The encounters with the three former VIPs.
Through many experiences, he realized that his emotions hadn’t completely disappeared.
Especially the meeting and goodbye with Glacia.
The story he wrote after facing her in the gate made him feel many different emotions.
“Then, I met you, noona, and I asked you out as a test.”
If his emotions had returned, he wondered if he would feel excitement upon reuniting with his first love.
Even if it wasn’t excitement, he thought he’d feel a little emotional, dating the woman he once loved.
“… So, how was it?”
Yoo Ga-eun asked with a trembling voice.
Were you happy on this date?
Any answer would have been fine.
Even a response that said it wasn’t great would have been welcomed.
Whether it was hatred, love, anger, or disappointment, it didn’t matter.
He just desperately wanted to hear that he felt something, anything.
However.
“As expected, I didn’t feel anything!”
That hope shattered into pieces.
With a bright smile.