Qin Sheng lay on the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks like beads slipping off a broken string—one drop, two drops, three drops.
Once, Shen Xiyan had been like a blazing fire, illuminating the dark, cold, and desolate world she lived in without a single ray of light.
But now, Shen Xiyan was like a sharp knife, cutting open the carefully guarded chain of cause and effect she had nurtured.
She wiped her tears, trying to cry less miserably.
But it was impossible—Xiyan was her greatest, and only, weakness.
In novels, those who are reborn usually stir up storms and have everything they want. Why did this have to happen to her? Why was it so hard just to have a peaceful relationship?
Where exactly had things gone wrong?
Was it because she was too proactive?
She had been proactive in her past life too; this time, she had only moved a month earlier.
Now, every time she thought of the fierce expression Shen Xiyan had just worn, she recalled their breakup that day, then the sight of Xiyan covered in blood, which shattered her emotions, making her wail uncontrollably.
Song Wan, standing quietly at the door, saw this and silently handed her some tissues.
“Heartbroken?”
Qin Sheng took the tissues and wiped her face, but her tears only poured out more fiercely. The tissues rubbed her cheeks raw and red, making her entire face flush as if it were on fire.
“Go away! You came because I asked you to? What do I have to do with you? I told you not to get involved with Shen Xiyan, but you’re still friends with him.”
“If you hadn’t come today, he definitely wouldn’t have left me alone! Aren’t you annoying!”
Qin Sheng struggled desperately to stop crying, but the more she tried, the more uncontrollable her sobs became.
Song Wan took a deep breath and didn’t argue with the hysterical Qin Sheng.
If it had been anyone else, she would have dared to fight back… but this person just didn’t want to get close to them. If she got played, it would be just what Qin Sheng wanted.
“Say whatever you want. Let me know when you’re done crying.” Song Wan said softly.
She didn’t know what was happening to Qin Sheng, and rather than try to comfort her, she might as well let her cry.
If they really broke up, wasn’t that what she had wanted to see all along?
So Qin Sheng cried even harder.
Since childhood, everyone had held her to impossibly high expectations—not just hoping she’d become outstanding, but thinking she was a Phoenix: noble, gorgeous, radiant.
But what did she have to do with a Phoenix?
Her parents divorced when she was young. Her father remarried a vicious stepmother, and her life was worse than that of a child from a single-parent home.
Her father’s neglect, her biological mother’s distance, her stepmother’s disdain, and her brother’s scheming made her like a lonely, pitiful hedgehog, curling up to protect herself with sharp spikes, growing up cautiously and repeatedly living the same lonely life.
Her heart longed for a sliver of warmth, hoping that one day someone would descend from the sky and reach out a hand to her.
If that person truly existed, she hoped it would be Shen Xiyan, and only Shen Xiyan.
She didn’t cry when her parents divorced.
She didn’t cry when her stepmother bullied her.
But when Shen Xiyan told her he wanted to break up, she cried; when Wenwen silently held Shen Xiyan’s Bone Ash Box and refused to forgive, she cried; and now…
Qin Sheng cried until her voice was hoarse and her heart was broken.
***
After Shen Xiyan left, she had held herself up for a long, long time. Now, all the rage, grievance, resentment, and regret inside her finally found an outlet, pouring out in this moment.
Song Wan watched quietly and suddenly felt a pang of sadness.
She hadn’t expected Qin Sheng to have such a fragile side, crying like a wounded child right in front of the person she hated most.
“Shut up! Get lost!!”
Qin Sheng vented her frustration on Song Wan in a near hysterical outburst.
Everything happening now was so far from what she had planned.
In her past life, she had always been a “dumb sweet girl,” never letting Shen Xiyan see her venomous side—until the Wenwen incident was exposed, and she couldn’t hide it anymore.
Her heart was already shaken… Was she too self-righteous?
She had planned an entire notebook, thinking she could easily win over Shen Xiyan this time and that it would be even sweeter than last life. But just a few days after making her move, everything went wrong.
Why was Shen Xiyan angry now?
Was he mad that she lied?
TX…
He hadn’t lost anything from that lie.
Was he angry because she was targeting Lin Ci?
TX…
He hadn’t even known what she said to Lin Ci back then, just guessed from expressions and actions.
Right?
“You think I’m blind? Didn’t you hear what the doctor just said? You broke your bones. Don’t you know the consequences of a fracture?”
“So it’s still my fault? Am I supposed to live just for you? Weren’t you always so good at pretending? Why are you acting dumb now, insisting on the real deal?”
“You could have faked a fall and kept threatening me with Aunt’s name. Why don’t you know how to take care of yourself?”
Recalling what Shen Xiyan had just said, Qin Sheng stopped sobbing, and her phoenix-like eyes slowly brightened.
Wait!
Wait!
Qin Sheng finally understood…
So he was mad at himself for hurting himself?
Yes!
Yes!
Song Wan, who was just a bystander, looked baffled.
The Qin Sheng who had been crying her heart out just moments ago was now smiling?
Had she gone crazy?
“Qin… Qin Sheng, are you okay?”
“I’m fine! What could be wrong with me?!” Qin Sheng wiped her tears hard.
No matter how well she planned in the beginning, feelings would inevitably change her mind.
Boundaries were crossed again and again.
Even in her past life, after each time Shen Xiyan brought up breaking up, Qin Sheng would quietly reflect late at night, but when the same thing happened again, those reflections were tossed aside.
This life without Shen Xiyan was simply impossible!
The two of them, together, having a warm home, shopping and cooking together, doing laundry and washing dishes, snuggling up watching TV late into the night, and then shamelessly stripping and diving into bed… she liked that life, and she had lived it.
Because of this, she knew what to do.
At the beginning, she had two choices: one with a high chance of success, the other a complete unknown change… she should have played it safe and started over, but she couldn’t help but speed things up.
For those moments of happiness, she couldn’t afford even the slightest accident—but because she hadn’t held back at the start, meeting too early had set off a chain of events.
Everything was different now, and she was powerless to turn things around.
Was there a second chance?
No.
Fate was like a huge net—pull one thread, and everything moved.
With that thought, Qin Sheng stood up from the bed, leaning on her crutch.
Song Wan frowned and asked, “Where are you going?”
“To the hospital to tell Aunt. I probably won’t be able to come so often in the next few days…”
“You could just call, you know? Don’t you know your foot is injured?”
Qin Sheng gave her a look like she was a fool, thinking: How could calling let Aunt feel sorry for me?
If Aunt doesn’t feel sorry for me, then how can I break this deadlock?
Shen Xiyan was her weakness; Aunt and Wenwen were Shen Xiyan’s weaknesses. She firmly held on to that truth.
“If you’re fine, go to Xiyan’s place and pick up my stuff… Is the driver still downstairs? Take me there.”
“Hey! Are you really crazy?!”
“Don’t bother me!”
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