Chapter 50: I Want to Become Like You

[Li Xingya]

In the classroom, Jiang Chiyue stared blankly at her own hands.

Four days had passed since that incident, but even now, the moment she closed her eyes, Li Xingya’s twisted, dying expression still floated before her.

Even during class, she couldn’t calm down.

‘Li Xingya really lost her memory.’

‘What have I done…’

Jiang Chiyue’s hands trembled slightly.

She admitted it—when she realized the person inside Li Xingya’s body was someone else, her mind went blank in an instant.

By the time she came to her senses, Li Xingya was already pinned beneath her.

‘Kill her.’

‘If I kill her, maybe “Li Xingya” sister will come back.’

It was as if a voice inside Jiang Chiyue’s head was shouting exactly that.

But at the final moment, Jiang Chiyue’s resolve faltered.

Part of it was the fear of killing.

Part of it was the complicated feelings she held for Li Xingya.

Li Xingya wasn’t “Li Xingya.”

But Li Xingya was so terribly similar to “Li Xingya.”

Jiang Chiyue now understood with all her heart that the two were not the same person, yet every night, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Li Xingya.

So Jiang Chiyue chose to run away.

She asked Lin Jin’an to take care of Li Xingya.

She deleted Li Xingya’s contact information.

If Li Xingya wasn’t “Li Xingya,” then Jiang Chiyue figured she should just forget her.

‘Don’t put the feelings you had for one person… onto another.’

‘But…’

Jiang Chiyue clenched her fists.

She closed her eyes and saw Li Xingya’s pained expression—and in that pain, Li Xingya had also curved her lips upward.

That seductive smile at the brink of death, like the most fatal temptation, refused to leave Jiang Chiyue’s mind.

‘Can I really forget Li Xingya?’

Jiang Chiyue: “…”

She let out a sigh.

She wondered what Li Xingya and Lin Jin’an were doing right now.

***

“Sis, s-sister… go easy on me.”

“I’m already going easy, Xiaoya. I haven’t even used my full strength yet.”

Lin Jin’an pulled Li Xingya’s right leg upward.

“Hold onto the wall, keep your leg straight, grit your teeth—it’ll be over soon.”

“Guh!”

Li Xingya pressed her head down hard, cold sweat seeping from her forehead.

“N-no, I can’t. I’m dying.”

At that moment.

Lin Jin’an was lifting Li Xingya’s right leg, pressing it higher and higher toward her head.

But Li Xingya’s leg could only rise to ninety degrees at most.

Any higher, and every bit of force Lin Jin’an applied made Li Xingya tremble even more violently.

Seeing this, Lin Jin’an didn’t dare push further.

“Xiaoya, you’re only sixteen, right?”

“Mhm.”

Li Xingya nodded with difficulty.

Lin Jin’an frowned.

“Then how did your ligaments get this stiff?”

“I—I don’t know.”

Li Xingya winced, sucking in a sharp breath of cold air.

“Sister, how much longer do we have to keep lifting my leg? Spare me, let’s go watch some TV instead, okay?”

‘Please.’

‘As long as we don’t do this, I’ll do whatever you want.’

The pain between her legs had already made Li Xingya incapable of thinking about anything else.

The path to debuting as an idol was bound to be tough—Li Xingya knew that very well.

So since Lin Jin’an was home today, she thought she’d ask her for help.

But what Li Xingya didn’t expect was that once training started, Lin Jin’an was ruthless—even harsher than Meng Yiqiao.

‘Forget it.’

‘I don’t want to be a proper idol anymore.’

‘Spare me.’

‘I’d rather go be an underground idol and sell my charm.’

Li Xingya struggled to lift her head, but when she met Lin Jin’an’s eyes, not a single word of begging came out.

Those were earnest, responsible eyes.

In her previous life, Li Xingya only remembered seeing that kind of emotion in her birth mother’s eyes before she abandoned her.

A gaze like that…

‘How am I supposed to give up now?’

‘That’s just cheating.’

Li Xingya unknowingly craved love.

Now, faced with Lin Jin’an’s affection, she gritted her teeth.

‘Just…’

‘Hold on a little longer.’

—Half an hour later.

“Ha… haah.”

Li Xingya gasped for breath, collapsing onto the floor without a shred of dignity.

‘My thigh hurts so much.’

‘My waist hurts too.’

‘It feels like my whole body is about to snap.’

The searing pain reminded Li Xingya of the time she hauled cement at a construction site in her previous life.

And of course, there were also the times she got beaten up at the end of the month for failing to pay off her debts—her body ached just like this back then.

In those moments, Li Xingya could only curl up on the cold bed frame, staring wide-eyed at the stains in the corner of the room, using that to distract herself, trying to ignore the searing pain running through every nerve in her body.

Now, with dull, vacant eyes, Li Xingya instinctively searched for a corner that belonged to her.

Just then, Lin Jin’an suddenly scooped her up.

“You’re so light, Xiaoya… that was tough, wasn’t it?”

“I know. I went through the same thing back in the day.”

Lin Jin’an held Li Xingya tightly in her arms.

“You did great, Xiaoya. Come on, let’s go get you relaxed—that way your muscles won’t be sore tomorrow.”

Li Xingya blinked.

She didn’t say anything.

But the light returned to her eyes.

She simply buried her head deeper into Lin Jin’an’s embrace.

‘I’m being cared for.’

‘I’m being praised.’

‘My heart feels all tingly and warm.’

‘This is different from my previous life.’

‘When I’m with Lin Jin’an… even when my body hurts, I don’t feel sad.’

‘Such a strange feeling.’

Li Xingya was carried into a bathtub filled with warm water.

As the warmth spread and her body slowly regained feeling, she finally let out a relieved sigh.

“Sister, is being an idol always this tiring?” she asked.

“Look up.”

Lin Jin’an held a towel in her hand.

Li Xingya obediently lifted her chin.

Lin Jin’an used the warm towel to wipe Li Xingya’s face, then said,

“There are professional idols and unprofessional ones. Even if you’re not good at singing or dancing, as long as you have a pretty face, you can still debut… If Xiaoya wants to go down that path, your sister can help you.”

“Help me?”

“Mm. With the resources I have, it’s easy for me to push someone to stardom. Besides, Xiaoya, you’re so beautiful—if you’re not cut out for idol work, we can turn that into a charming quirk instead.”

Li Xingya: “…”

“So? Want to try that easier path? Or we could compromise—debuting as part of a girl group is also a good option. I’ll make sure you get the center position.”

‘Should I try it?’

Li Xingya thought about it.

The first thing that came to mind wasn’t herself—it was Lin Jin’an, shining on stage.

The one who reached the very peak of idoldom all on her own.

‘Even though I’m from a completely different world than sister…’

‘I still… want to become someone like her.’

Li Xingya shook her head.

“I want to get closer to you, sister.”

Li Xingya raised her head, meeting Lin Jin’an’s gaze without flinching:

“I want to become just like you.”

“Xiaoya…”

In the brief moment Li Xingya didn’t notice, Lin Jin’an swallowed hard.

‘Xiaoya…’

‘Really, she keeps unintentionally giving off that captivating aura again.’

‘Always seducing people without even realizing it. Once you debut in the future, sister is really going to worry about you.’