Chapter 5: The Fifth Step to Becoming the Matchmaker: Embarking on the Path of a Grand and Glorious Divine Trickster

After learning from some mysterious old god that he had become a real god, Chang Fei, having escaped the hospital, decided to check on his residence.  

His home, including the entire neighborhood, was infamous as a “ghost district,” where inexplicable events were so common that even the police stayed away.  

Through his investigations, Chang Fei had discovered that while there were indeed ghostly incidents, the deaths were all human-caused.  

Before renting his place here, he had arranged for his organization’s members to round up the troublemakers and send them to the police station.  

Some amateur ghost-hunting monks and nuns from his group had also joined in, reportedly exorcising plenty of spirits—though back then, Chang Fei would never have believed such things were real.  

Now, however, he was eager to encounter actual demons or ghosts, maybe even bully them a bit for fun.  

But he hadn’t expected to hear someone crying in the neighborhood late at night.  

It couldn’t be someone crying from a beating—this was the ghost district!  

Besides Chang Fei and a few fearless members of his organization who dared rent here, who would be bold enough to live in this place?  

Especially someone crying—they’d be the last to come here!  

This thought made Chang Fei a bit smug: “Is this the power of a Matchmaker God? Pretty impressive!”  

His mood was as elated as if he’d stumbled across a million bucks.  

Even if he didn’t make it to school to see the world, his life wouldn’t be boring!  

Tiptoeing toward the sound, Chang Fei peeked out and saw, by the murky lake of the haunted neighborhood, a disheveled girl standing on the water’s surface, gazing at the sky.  

Tears streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks as she murmured, “Why did they harm me… why…”  

Chang Fei leaned forward excitedly.  

If he had a camera, he’d snap this scene and send it to some guy at a folklore research club—he’d be thrilled, and Chang Fei might even make some extra cash!  

Frustrated that he didn’t have a camera on him, he suddenly noticed a faint gray thread glimmering around the girl’s neck.  

Squinting for a closer look, his expression shifted from casual curiosity to focus.  

He quickly pulled out his booklet, and as soon as he opened it, a holographic figure of a girl nearly identical to the ghostly one appeared—  

Xu Shaxue: 

Female  

15 years old  

First-year student at Shenghua University Affiliated High School  

Love interest: Lezheng Chu, eldest son of the Lezheng family  

Progress: 4%  

Physical condition: Deceased  

Friendly reminder: This female’s lifespan is not yet exhausted; she is eligible for resurrection via body possession.  

Body scan found 3 compatible bodies:  

Leng Yiqing:  

15 years old  

First-year student at Shenghua University Affiliated High School  

Chronically ill, deceased for one day  

Can restore vitality.  

Qi Wantong:  

Female  

17 years old  

Second-year student at Provincial No. 4 High School  

Car accident, deceased for half a month  

Can restore vitality.  

He Tala Zirui:  

16 years old  

First-year student at No. 1 High School  

Suicide, deceased for two weeks  

Can restore vitality.  

Looking at the list, Chang Fei immediately ruled out the latter two.  

This was his first task, and he was getting excited, but he wasn’t about to waste time or money arranging identities or school transfers—that could take forever.  

So, he decisively chose the body with the shortest time since death, a family to back her up, and minimal need for explanations: Leng Yiqing.  

While Chang Fei was using the Matchmaker booklet to select a resurrection body for the girl, his actions startled the still-crying Xu Shaxue.  

She turned in shock, seeing a boy who looked younger than her, sneakily doing something.  

“What are you doing?!” she called out nervously, shrinking back instinctively, only to realize she was already dead.  

She froze, then gave a bitter smile.  

Chang Fei, deep in thought about how much inner essence he’d earn from helping Xu Shaxue, jumped at her voice.  

The booklet spun in his hands, nearly falling to the ground.  

Noticing her gaze, he decided to stop hiding, coughed lightly, and stepped out from behind the tree he’d been using as cover.  

“Ahem… I’m a god. You might not believe me, so let me explain…”  

“Are you here to take me away?” Xu Shaxue asked dazedly, hearing his claim.  

Chang Fei raised an eyebrow, thinking how clever this girl—barely older than him—was for guessing he was here for her.  

This would make things easier.  

Excited at the prospect of a smooth conversation, he prepared to discuss the red strings and body possession.  

But as he looked up, her ghostly, sinister appearance—looking every bit like a drowned spirit—floated toward him.  

Honestly, even without a guilty conscience, it was pretty terrifying, especially since this was a real ghost.  

The words on the tip of his tongue changed flavor, and he frowned, showing some displeasure at her attempt to scare him: “What are you doing?!”  

“Give me three days! I’ll take my revenge, and I swear I’ll come back to atone.  

Please let me go! I can’t go to the underworld yet.  

If you insist on taking me, I’ll… kill… scare… run away!” Xu Shaxue fumbled mid-sentence, switching words as her cheeks flushed slightly, her fierce gaze still dodging nervously.  

Chang Fei blinked, looked away, and scratched his cheek in frustration: “You don’t think I’m a grim reaper, do you?”  

“Huh? You’re not?” The girl froze.  

“If I was, why didn’t you run? Didn’t you just say you’d run?”

Chang Fei raised half an eyebrow, unable to comprehend her actions.  

“Oh, right! …No, wait! I should be able to beat you! You look younger than me! Huh? Wait, were you lying just now? Are you just a normal kid? Why are you scaring me?”

Xu Shaxue reasoned to herself, sounding convinced, and glared at Chang Fei with resentment, her ghostly aura replaced by a wronged expression.  

Her eyes were genuinely beautiful, and Chang Fei found himself admiring them.  

But after mentally replaying her words, he couldn’t accept it.  

He was a god, for crying out loud! How could he have zero authority?  

How was he supposed to function like this?

He’d definitely be seen as a con artist!  

“Compatible body located. Activate map navigation?” 

The Matchmaker booklet sent a “friendly reminder” in his mind.  

“Huh? A map? Doesn’t the body get delivered?” Chang Fei muttered inwardly.  

“New Matchmaker God Chang Fei’s inner essence is insufficient to activate delivery service. Please choose whether to activate map navigation. Decisions must be made within one minute, or the option will expire.”

The booklet continued its “friendly reminder.”  

Chang Fei’s cheek twitched.  

A god, and he couldn’t use delivery because of low essence?

What kind of nonsense was this?!  

“Profanity prohibited. Profanity deducts immortal essence. No essence available; teleportation function frozen for 30 days.  

Pay 1 Five Elements Crystal to unlock.”  

“Cough…” Chang Fei felt like choking on his own blood, nearly dropping to his knees.  

Xu Shaxue, watching nervously, reached out to pat him but touched nothing but air: “Are… you okay?”  

“Ugh…” Chang Fei felt something change in his body.  

Looking down, he noticed two… small steamed buns on his chest?  

Sighing, he thought this physique was ridiculous, but that wasn’t the point.  

Why did touching a bodiless ghost trigger a transformation?

Did any skin contact, regardless of substance, cause this?  

Activating map navigation, Chang Fei sighed deeply, wondering how to explain he wasn’t a grim reaper or an ordinary kid, when the booklet chimed again with a “friendly reminder”—  

“Congratulations to the new Matchmaker God for completing the ‘Soul Contact Transformation’ task.  

To soothe the shocked young heart, a growth-oriented beginner Matchmaker God outfit (male/female) is awarded based on current age.”  

Seriously?  

Chang Fei felt like the booklet was leading him by the nose.  

Where was this outfit, and how would it be delivered?  

Then he heard Xu Shaxue let out a soft gasp: “You…”  

Oh? Was the outfit manifesting on him?  

Excited, Chang Fei looked down—a red bellyband, a red silkworm long shirt, red wide-legged shorts not reaching the knees, embroidered with silver-white stars and a… tiny sapling?  

Red shoes exposing his toes, with red silkworm silk wrapping his feet up to his ankles…  

For some reason, his nose felt hot, like something was about to burst out.  

Seeing his development… chest through the sleeveless bellyband, Chang Fei lost control, and two streams of nosebleed sprayed out. 

*** 

Half an hour later 

“Listen, I’m not an ordinary person. I’m here to help you with abilities others don’t have.  

What others can’t do, I can,” Chang Fei said seriously, patting Xu Shaxue’s shoulder.  

“Uh… okay… are you alright?” Xu Shaxue, sweating, eyed the boy worriedly, wondering if this… peculiar person in girl form might collapse from nosebleeds if she used force.  

But one thing was certain: at least he wasn’t a grim reaper.  

Chang Fei was still rubbing his stinging nose, inwardly cursing.  

The previous Matchmaker God at least wore classic Hanfu—why was he stuck with a bellyband and pigtails?  

Right, pigtails—his short hair had been forcibly tied into two upward buns, making him look like a clown, not a god.  

No face to show in public…  

“Are you… okay?” Xu Shaxue, seeing his state, wanted to comfort him, unable to stand seeing someone so pitiful.  

“I’m fine… Anyway, since your lifespan isn’t up and you still have unresolved ties to this world, I’ll help you with body possession.  

There were three candidate bodies, and I chose the first one for you.  

You’ll need to come with me to complete the resurrection.”  

Ignoring Xu Shaxue’s concern, Chang Fei focused on the booklet’s information.  

But Xu Shaxue was more curious about what made her special enough for this odd person to help her.  

No, wait—not the time for that. Was this girl reliable?  

Why did she exude an aura of “I’m super unreliable, follow me and you’re doomed”?  

Chang Fei recited the booklet’s details and looked up to meet Xu Shaxue’s skeptical gaze, prompting him to ask, “What’s wrong?”  

Xu Shaxue hesitated, worried, and said, “Can I… get a different person in charge?”  

“Change the person in charge? Can you even do that?” Chang Fei asked, stunned.  

She looked confused: “You can’t?”  

“Wait, why would you want to change?” Chang Fei pressed, incredulous.  

She eyed him warily: “You seem… unreliable…”  

“I…” Chang Fei swallowed his curses, choking on frustration, nearly spitting blood.  

She decided—after helping this girl, she’d overhaul her image!  

She—would become a grand, glorious divine trickster!!  

With that thought, Chang Fei flashed a charming smile, speaking slowly: “Little girl, what kind of existence do you think I am?”  

His sudden shift to a profound demeanor made Xu Shaxue feel uneasy, her expression stiffening: “You… seem…”  

“No need to say it. I know,” Chang Fei cut her off with a mysterious smile. “What you see in me is your own reflection.”  

“My… reflection?!” Xu Shaxue’s heart skipped, half-believing his words.  

Ignoring her scrutinizing gaze, Chang Fei continued calmly: I told you, I’m no ordinary human—I’m a god.  

I exist beyond gender and age, transcending time and space in ways you can’t imagine.  

We’re not like you humans with all your flaws.  

We do our duty, seeking nothing more, taking nothing that isn’t ours.  

Little girl, how old do you think I am?  

Do you think people are lining up to help you?  

You’re wrong. I’m the only one who’ll help you, simply because I saw you and chose to lend a hand.  

If you don’t trust me, if you want more, I’ll leave.  

Stay here and wait for the person you’re hoping for.  

With that, he stood and turned to go.  

The booklet chimed: “Successfully deceived a mortal girl’s heart. Earned ‘Shameless Matchmaker’ title +1, Matchmaker outfit upgraded +1, inner essence +5.”  

Chang Fei’s mouth twitched as his clothes glowed faintly—upgraded?  

Was being a god just like playing a game?  

He now wore a moon-white sleeveless long shirt, with the shorts replaced by a red short skirt—slightly more normal.  

But to Xu Shaxue, it looked like her savior was angry and unwilling to help her resurrect!  

“Wait, don’t go! I was wrong! I’ll do whatever you say, no more doubts!” Xu Shaxue’s eyes teared up, standing helplessly with her thick lashes drooping, tears clinging to them, looking pitiful.  

Chang Fei quietly sighed in relief, more determined than ever to pursue the path of a high-class, grand divine trickster.  

***

Shang Zhi’s note:  

After revisions, the chapter accidentally exceeded 4,000 words.  

Splitting it to the next chapter didn’t feel right, so here it is.  

It might not be hilarious, but I’ll keep striving toward the right path!