For a long time before, Xia Zhi would have nightmares…
Starting from the betrayal by that old butler.
In the dream, the old butler whom she once regarded as family betrayed her without hesitation.
His laughter was like the sound of fingernails scratching a blackboard, making her physically uncomfortable.
In the dream, her deceased parents would blame her for not inheriting the company left by her grandfather, instead making a mess of everything and making it worse.
In the dream, at the end of the story, her world would be reduced to only herself, letting her quietly feel her own rot at home.
Even though she knew her parents loved her and only wanted her to be happy, they wouldn’t blame her like that.
But perhaps it was due to self-blame.
Though she clearly knew it was false, she still sank into this nightmare.
She woke up from such endlessly cycling nightmares time and time again, but what was even more heartbreaking was that the world after waking up was still no different from the ending of the dream, even worse.
Because the waking world no longer had only her, but she still couldn’t blend into the surging crowd under the neon lights.
Human relationships are like anchors to the world.
She didn’t have such an anchor, so even though she had her own house, she still felt like a wanderer.
When did she first clearly and concretely realize she was lonely?
It was because of a game named [Relaxation Time: Sharing Lo-Fi Stories with You].
This was an audio novel where she could work with a girl named Congyin who liked writing stories.
Congyin would accompany you on the computer while you created, accompany you to rest, and accompany you through day after day.
And when you wanted to exit the game, you had to use the mouse to click the fairy tale hang-up button at the bottom right of the screen.
At that time, Congyin would wave goodbye to you, just like ending a real video call.
One time when hanging up, Congyin waved goodbye to her.
Xia Zhi also reached out and instinctively waved back.
Until the game ended and the desktop popped up again, she was still dazedly waving her hand.
At that moment, she suddenly felt really lonely…
She had long known the fact that she was alone, but when that moment truly came, she suddenly realized how lonely she was, how sad this was.
Perhaps it was because she didn’t understand dreams, wanderers chase after illusions.
She had been obsessed with the colors of the online world, and had cut her own arms time and time again.
Neither those illusory phantoms nor the piercing pain could fill the void in her heart.
Until she saw her parents’ relics again and decided to change.
She finally put everything behind her.
Because those who want to do something always forget their inner emptiness.
She felt that she had truly escaped the vicious cycle of self-consumption.
She had started running, and she would leave that tormenting emptiness far behind.
Until Su Ziyan appeared, finally breaking her self-hypnosis.
It turned out that a long time ago, she didn’t really like that game that much.
She just wanted someone to accompany her…
Like some kind of hero or savior, wielding a holy sword to cleave open the princess’s closed inner world, rescuing the princess back to the real world, and then the two would start living happily ever after.
It’s just a pity that the God of this world is a malicious villain.
The one who saved her had neither a holy sword nor was a hero.
He only had a plate of tomato scrambled eggs.
And so, under Su Ziyan’s influence, Xia Zhi changed herself again and again until now.
Perhaps there really is no holy sword in this world that can cleave open someone’s closed heart, but in her world, there truly was a hero.
She had never had the courage to face her life like she did now.
She had thought more than once about becoming a normal person again, returning to her parents’ company to take back everything step by step from the beginning, becoming a girl loved by everyone…
Anyway, she wanted to do so many things that her former self never dared to imagine.
Xia Zhi understood that during this process, she would become more and more confident, confident enough to stand shoulder to shoulder beside Su Ziyan as a person, not as someone to be protected.
At that time, she would end the employment relationship with him.
She would tell him everything about herself.
She would say to him,
“Actually, I don’t know when it started, but I fell in love with you. Let’s be together.”
At that time…
Thinking like this, Xia Zhi once again suppressed her urge to lean down and kiss him.
She gently placed Su Ziyan’s head back on the pillow and covered him with the blanket.
She also returned to her own bed, picked up the remote control for the lamp, turned to look at his profile, and said softly:
“Good night…”
‘My love.’
***
“Wasn’t you excited yesterday?”
Su Ziyan said as he washed and put away the empty breakfast plates on the dining table, then turned around with a helpless look at the dazed Xia Zhi.
“Now you look so dazed. Are you scared?”
“Ah…”
Xia Zhi snapped back to reality.
“No, I was just thinking about something.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Something unexpected happened yesterday.”
Xia Zhi looked at Su Ziyan in front of her and said,
“I originally thought that since I was going to try going out today, I would definitely have nightmares last night.”
Su Ziyan was stunned for a moment, understanding why Xia Zhi insisted on sleeping beside him last night.
He asked,
“So you didn’t dream last night?”
“No, I had a beautiful dream.”
Xia Zhi suddenly smiled.
Clearly, as the two interacted more, Su Ziyan saw Xia Zhi smile more and more often.
He should already be used to it.
But for some reason, today Su Ziyan felt that there was something different in her smile.
He didn’t know what it was, only that Xia Zhi was beautiful at that moment, and he was momentarily stunned.
And Xia Zhi, looking at the dazed Su Ziyan, also thought of last night’s dream.
In the dream, the two successfully ended up together in the future and got married right after Su Ziyan graduated from university.
After marriage, she worked hard and regained her parents’ company.
From then on, the two lived without worry about food and clothing, happily ever after.
Until one day, when both were already old and frail, they leaned on each other watching the sunset.
In that sunset, Su Ziyan said:
“I love you.”
Xia Zhi also said:
“I love you.”
The tone was as plain as a daily greeting.
But after Su Ziyan heard Xia Zhi’s words, he was stunned for a moment and asked with some confusion:
“Why is it also ‘I love you’? Shouldn’t you reply with ‘I love you too’?”
“Because ‘I love you’ is simply ‘I love you,’ not because you love me.”
“Before you loved me…”
“I was already hopelessly in love with you.”
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