Chapter 47 : Pain (1/2)

Song Ye stared at her blankly, his mind empty.

Because all of this completely overturned the repressed, painful past laced with sweetness that he thought he knew.

He lowered his head to look at Jiang Nanshu’s reddened eyes,

thinking of how she always held back her anger when she accused him of “two-timing.”

He found it a little hard to believe, his throat dry and tight: “You… only like me?”

“Yeah.” Jiang Nanshu rose on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips,

“Only like you, only you.”

“What happened with Chen Qingyue was a misunderstanding?”

“It was a misunderstanding. Do you believe me?”

Song Ye looked into the seriousness in her eyes and stiffly nodded: “I believe.”

He believed what she said.

It was precisely because he believed her that, after being hit with overwhelming joy,

he was immediately swallowed by an entirely different emotion, repressive and painful.

He didn’t even dare to think too deeply.

If it was all a misunderstanding, then what had he been doing all these years?

“Meow.”

“Meow.”

Rou Song and Xiao Bei had somehow made their way to their feet,

and seeing the crack in the door, tried to squeeze out. Jiang Nanshu looked down and quickly shut the door.

The two cats looked up at them, letting out dissatisfied “meows.”

Jiang Nanshu ignored them and pulled Song Ye over to sit on the couch.

The wall lamp in the living room was on, casting a warm and cozy light.

She straddled his lap, looking down at him.

Some things that are buried deep in the heart for too long are hard to speak of.

They need someone to ask, to give a lead, for the story to slowly unfold.

Maybe tonight’s emotional swings were too intense,

and she didn’t have the same calm she did when confessing to Cheng Jiajia.

Or maybe it was because Song Ye had been silent the whole time,

unlike Cheng Jiajia, who asked questions or interrupted impatiently.

Instead, his silence made it harder for her to speak smoothly.

It took her over half an hour to stutter through the whole story.

“So, the two hugs you saw, one was because his leg hurt and he couldn’t stand, the other was the night before the college entrance exam.

He came to me, and I hugged him to wish him good luck on the test.

After his car accident, he took a semester off.

Later, he had some psychological issues, and studying was really hard for him to catch up.

At the time, I always felt that he and I were both innocent victims.

We’d been classmates for many years, so I always felt sympathy for him,

and many times I just couldn’t say no to his requests.”

Jiang Nanshu looked nervously at Song Ye because his expression was too calm,

So calm it scared her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued explaining,

“That time you called to test me, I didn’t realize it… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

When Song Ye heard her say “I’m sorry,” his expression finally changed.

He took a deep breath, pulled her into his arms, his voice dry and hoarse:

“You don’t need to apologize to me.

If anyone should be apologizing… It’s me.”

“I accept your apology.”

Jiang Nanshu buried her face into the crook of his neck, her heart aching,

and then lifted her head to look at him again.

“You were going to confess to me, then suddenly rejected me,

and let me carry the reputation of being a ‘scumbag girl’ for years.

You owe me an apology for that.”

Song Ye lowered his head, resting his forehead against her shoulder,

His breathing was heavy: “I’m sorry…”

Jiang Nanshu gently stroked his head, then cupped his face and lifted it,

seeing his reddened eyes.

She froze for a second, then spoke with heartache: “No more apologies from you.

If anyone should apologize… let Lin Yao and Xu Hao do it.”

Although all the misunderstandings originally stemmed from Chen Qingyue,

those two also once accused her of two-timing and even tried to stop Song Ye from pursuing her.

They owed her an apology, didn’t they?

Song Ye lowered his eyes and let out a quiet “mm.”

Jiang Nanshu quietly held him, but still couldn’t help asking:

“What else did he send you?”

“Some… texts, photos.”

Song Ye thought of those things that once caused him so much pain.

Now that he knew the truth, he realized they were all fake.

He couldn’t describe how he felt at this moment—it wasn’t much better than before.

Because those false, dark lies had made him misunderstand her for years.

The two of them missed out on so much because of it.

His heart was full of regret, guilt, and sorrow,

with no outlet to release it, swelling painfully.

“The night after the college entrance exam, before I came downstairs to see you,

I received an email from him.”

He paused.

“There was a video.

You two… looked very close.”

Jiang Nanshu was stunned, then quickly asked, “What kind?

How close?”

Song Ye pressed his lips together tightly,

not wanting to talk about it.

Jiang Nanshu tried to remember,

but couldn’t recall anything like that.

She lowered her head and kissed his lips: “Like this?”

Song Ye looked up at her, his tone calm:

“That one nearly drove me crazy.”

This old jealousy, he’d been holding onto it all this time.

Jiang Nanshu felt her heart twist with frustration.

She shook his shoulders: “What exactly was it? Show me.”

“Deleted.”

Was he crazy to have kept something like that?

He saw the curiosity in her eyes and sighed helplessly.

“You were asleep on the desk, and he touched your face.

Your reaction…”

He didn’t finish the sentence.

Not just because he was jealous, but because he regretted it.

Jiang Nanshu blinked in confusion and thought for a moment.

She remembered during a break,

Chen Qingyue had asked her to help with studying.

There was a study room in their complex, and they had reviewed there a few times.

One time, she had dozed off while resting.

As she recalled, she told him the story.

Then she couldn’t help but ask curiously,

“What exactly was my reaction?”

Song Ye stayed silent for a moment.

Then leaned in close to her ear, gently kissing and licking.

Jiang Nanshu couldn’t help but shrink her neck away and murmured, “It tickles…”

He stopped and leaned back again,

his face emotionless as he looked at her.

Jiang Nanshu suddenly realized,

her reaction back then was exactly like that.

She opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say.

In the end, she muttered, “I didn’t know he was that low.

That slap wasn’t nearly enough.”

The silence between them was broken by two incoming notifications on Jiang Nanshu’s phone.

She took it out to check.

[Did you ask Song Ye yet?]

The game Echoes of Time was still trending these past few days.

People had begun digging into the identity of its mysterious producer, Will.

Everyone knew it was an alias, and now they just wanted to find out what other games he’d made, or which company he worked for now.

Back when Song Ye made the game, aside from a roommate in Hong Kong, no one else knew.

So the internet had no leads.

She looked up at Song Ye and figured he wasn’t in the mood to talk about this,

so she lowered her head and replied to Cheng Jiajia:

[We’ll talk about this in a few days.]

Cheng Jiajia: [Huh? Did I interrupt you two? Sorry, sorry, pretend I never sent that.]

Jiang Nanshu: “……”

She didn’t reply to Cheng Jiajia again,

but instead started thinking about what she had just said.

“It’s almost midnight.”

She put down her phone and looked at him.

Song Ye raised his eyes to her: “You heading home?”

Jiang Nanshu shook her head and softly said,

“I’ll stay with you tonight.”

Song Ye knew she wanted to comfort him.

He was indeed feeling terrible.

All he could think about were those wasted years,

and the hurtful things he’d once said to her.

It felt like his insides had been crushed into pieces.

At the same time, he felt grateful; thankfully,

it had all been a misunderstanding.

She only ever liked him.

But that sweetness came mixed with glass shards.

Every bite of sweetness he got now, he had to swallow the glass with it.

He didn’t want to pass those feelings onto her.

Didn’t want her to hurt with him.

Song Ye held her by the waist and lifted her up.

The sudden weightlessness made Jiang Nanshu’s heart race.

She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, cheeks a little red.

“Wait… I need to go back and take a shower and grab some clothes.”

“Wear mine.”

Song Ye carried her toward the master bedroom.

Jiang Nanshu added, “There’s none… downstairs.”

Song Ye paused, looked down at her,

then turned and walked toward the entryway.

The hallway was quiet.

The man held her with one hand, the other tapping in the door code.

With a soft click, the door opened.

Song Ye carried her into the master bedroom, and only then did she struggle out of his arms.

She thought for a second and said,

“Can you go back and wait for me?”

Song Ye lowered his eyes, glanced at her with a hint of a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.

Jiang Nanshu pushed him toward the door.

“I’ll come over in a bit.”

Song Ye didn’t resist and stepped out of the bedroom.

Jiang Nanshu closed the door behind him and took a deep breath before grabbing some clothes and heading to the shower.

Outside the door, Song Ye stood still for a moment, then turned and walked off.

He went home, smoked a cigarette on the balcony, and only then went to take a shower.

Men usually shower quickly, and after he came out of the bathroom and waited a while in the living room, Jiang Nanshu finally arrived slowly.

As soon as she got in front of him, he picked her up in a bridal carry again.

Only a desk lamp was on in the master bedroom, casting a dim light.

The bedsheets had been changed to a deep blue.

Jiang Nanshu was pressed beneath him and looked at him nervously.

Song Ye asked in a low voice,

“Do you have trouble sleeping in a new bed?”

Jiang Nanshu pursed her lips,

“Didn’t we… sleep here once before?”

Song Ye didn’t say anything else

and lowered his head to kiss her.

He really hadn’t planned to do anything,

but the kiss gradually changed in nature.

His hand slipped under her shirt,

touching her delicate skin, feeling the softness under his palm.

The intense desire for her and all the bottled-up emotions with no outlet overwhelmed him and clouded his reason.

His grip gradually lost control, becoming so strong it was as if he wanted to crush her.

Jiang Nanshu clutched his neck, breathless and overwhelmed,

until a tingling pain spread from her chest.

She finally gasped quietly, “It hurts…”

It was as if he didn’t hear her.

Jiang Nanshu, in pain and unable to bear it,

noticed his irrationality and loss of control.

She took several deep breaths, placed her hand over his,

and grabbed his long fingers.

“Song Ye, gentler…”

Hearing her cry out in pain,

Song Ye’s movements paused slightly.

He looked down and saw the rough marks on her body.

Then he looked up and saw her red eyes.

His sanity returned halfway in an instant.

He took a few deep breaths and painfully moved off of her,

Then lay beside her.

He pulled her into his arms, tugged down her clothes,

and pulled the blanket over them.

Jiang Nanshu lay on his chest, looked down at him, and said,

“I just told you to be gentler, not that I didn’t want to.”

“Next time.” Song Ye calmed his breathing and pressed his lips tightly.

“Not tonight.”

Jiang Nanshu glanced downward beneath him.

“You don’t want to? Doesn’t look like it.”

“…”