Tense from the uncertainty of the situation, I glanced back to see Sir Kerif’s cheeks flushed red.
Now that I looked closer, his breathing was oddly rough as well.
“This place is… huff… no matter how many times I come, it still feels so high. I didn’t want to show how hard it is in front of you, my lady, but I just can’t help it.”
“S-Sir Kerif? Are you alright?”
“It’s nothing compared to a cliff, really…”
“You truly are a beastkin of the Meadowlands. Whew, shall we try going up again?”
It was clear at a glance that he was struggling, so I hurriedly tried to stop him.
I didn’t want him to overexert himself unnecessarily.
“If it’s hard, it’s okay to rest a little longer!”
“No, it’s fine. We’re almost there, so let’s just hang in a little more.”
At last, when we reached the top of the stairs, a wooden door appeared.
The moment he pulled on the handle, bright sunlight poured in and a vast view of Hamilton unfolded before us.
“This place is…?”
“This is the tallest western clock tower of the royal palace. From here, you can see all of Hamilton at a glance.”
When I lifted my head, it felt as if the sky was spread right above my scalp.
Though I was briefly shocked by the dizzying height of the tower that seemed to touch the clouds, my eyes were soon drawn to the picturesque scenery before me.
The city bathed in sunlight was shining brilliantly.
Golden buildings surrounded by sturdy walls under crimson flags and the lively market all seemed to showcase the strength and stature of Hamilton, the land of the wolf beastkin.
I still couldn’t let down my guard, but I couldn’t stop marveling at the grandeur of a city I was seeing for the first time.
‘To think I can witness something like this with my own eyes… I want to treasure this moment forever.’
At that moment, Sir Kerif turned to me with a bright smile.
It was a harmless and kind smile, one that seemed incapable of any malice.
“Thank you so much, Sir Kerif. Honestly, today was so hard and upsetting… but thanks to you, I feel a lot better.”
Why had I ever doubted someone like him?
A heavy sense of guilt pressed down on me belatedly.
Unaware of my thoughts, Sir Kerif simply looked at me with eyes full of concern.
Even his next words were as warm as the sunlight of a lazy afternoon.
“I had a feeling you’d like it. Actually… ever since I first saw you at the ball, you’ve been on my mind.”
“Pardon? Why?”
“…Because you reminded me of myself.”
His expression turned wistful. Did he mean he saw his past self in me?
Unable to hold back my curiosity, I asked him directly.
“Did you, by chance, also have to come to a strange place, separated from your family like me?”
“Yes, I did. That’s why I understand better than anyone that anxiety… like being cast alone into a vast, open sea.”
“…May I ask when that was?”
He stayed silent for a moment, as if pondering.
Then, with a hesitant expression, he asked me in return.
“My lady, have you ever heard about the circumstances of my birth?”
“…Only that you’re His Majesty’s half-brother.”
“I see. It’s sad to put it this way, but… I’m essentially a symbol of betrayal. You see, I was conceived while the late emperor’s consort was already pregnant with the current emperor.”
In other words, the emperor’s father had an affair while his wife was pregnant.
I couldn’t hide my shock at how such a thing could happen.
Sir Kerif gave a bitter smile, as if he understood.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude…”
“No, it’s alright. I’ve always thought of it as disgraceful, too.”
“Then… are you originally from Hamilton?”
“No, I was born and raised in Tesser. My father met my mother during a brief visit there.”
For a moment, a deep sadness and loneliness passed over his face.
His voice that followed was tinged with pain.
“But for certain reasons, I had to come to Hamilton. I must have felt much like you do now, back then.”
“…So that’s why you brought me here, isn’t it?”
“Yes, exactly. I thought maybe from here, I could see Tesser again.”
He gazed off into the distance for a moment, then turned his eyes back to me.
“That’s why I wanted to show you this place.”
He truly was an endlessly kind person.
At the ball, even though we had never spoken before, he had stepped in to help me.
I had no idea how to repay such kindness.
‘…Thank you, Sir Kerif. That really means a lot. Being here, I feel like I could almost see the Meadowlands too.’
“I’m glad to hear that. If the opportunity ever arises… would you take me to the Meadowlands someday?”
“You, Sir Kerif?”
“Yes. But if it’s a burden, you can absolutely refuse.”
“Well… the Meadowlands are only inhabited by sheep beastkin, so… If a tiger beastkin like you showed up, I think everyone would be shocked out of their minds. But… maybe just for a little while, it might be okay….”
Come to think of it, Sir Kerif had shown interest in the Meadowlands ever since we first met.
I started to wonder if there was a special reason for that.
“Why are you so eager to visit the Meadowlands, Sir Kerif?”
“…Is it strange for someone like me?”
“It’s not that, I’m just curious.”
“There are a few reasons… but mainly, there’s not much known about the Meadowlands where the sheep beastkin live, so I was curious. I’ve visited most other places during my time wandering the world.”
I looked at him with wide eyes.
“You’ve been to many countries outside of Hamilton?”
“Yes, of course.”
That was the life I had always dreamed of—free to travel beyond the fences of the Meadowlands.
It was fascinating to meet someone like Sir Kerif who had lived out the wish I had long held dear.
“Which place left the strongest impression on you? Maybe somewhere unusual, or so beautiful you’d want to visit again?”
When I asked eagerly, eyes sparkling, he smiled.
After thinking for a moment, he finally began to speak.
“The most memorable place I visited was a densely populated village where wounded beastkin with nowhere else to go had gathered.”
“Such a place exists?”
“Yes. Each of them had a tragic story. There was a maid who fled after having her tongue and fingers cut off by her master, and another who had been struck with a heated iron kettle and couldn’t go outside without wrapping their whole body.”
The words were so shocking that I instinctively covered my mouth.
I couldn’t think of how to respond.
“How could something like that happen…”
“Oh dear, it seems I’ve told you a frightening story. On the other hand, if I were to speak of the most beautiful place… I’d say it was the Ice Island, where the arctic fox beastkin lived.”
“Ice Island?”
“Yes, a place where the whole world is covered in snow. I remember buying a snow globe that mimicked snowfall because I wanted to show that scene to my younger sibling.”
As he recalled his sibling, a gentle smile spread across Lord Kerif’s face like ripples on water.
It was quite fascinating to see such an expression from him.
‘Cherrybell and I are more like enemies—every time we see each other, we just fight.’
Maybe that’s why I ended up blurting it out without thinking.
“Your sibling must be happy to have an older brother like you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you care so much about them.”
“It’s nothing special, really. The truth is… my sibling is very ill.”
A shadow fell over his face, something I had never seen before. I felt bad for bringing it up.
“…They’re sick?”
“Yes. They’ve had a congenital heart condition since they were little, and it’s gotten worse as they’ve grown older. Eventually, they couldn’t even leave the house and had to stay in their room.”
“Have you not found a way to treat it yet?”
“Not as of now. That’s why I’ve traveled to many countries, but… unfortunately…”
His face, contorted with pain, made my heart ache just to look at it. I wanted to help, even just a little.
“Lord Kerif, do you know what exactly is wrong with your sibling’s heart?”
“Their doctor said the blood vessels in their heart are gradually narrowing, eventually to the point where the heart can no longer function properly. Do you know anything about such a condition?”
A flicker of hope passed across his face.
‘I think Cherrybell once made an herbal remedy that could treat a similar illness…’
But I didn’t want to give him false hope.
If I could confirm it later by writing to Cherrybell and getting a definite answer, I’d tell him then.
“No… I just thought that if I ever find a way to treat a similar illness, I’d remember and tell you.”
“Even just the thought means a great deal to me. It seems our break time is nearly over.”
“Is it time to go?”
“Yes, if we don’t want to be late.”
I took one last look at the scenery of Hamilton beyond the window.
I made a mental note to come back here if I ever felt overwhelmed or troubled again.
“Thank you so much for today, Lord Kerif.”
“Not at all. Just seeing your joy makes my heart overflow.”
***
When we returned to the meeting hall, the Emperor was sitting with his arms crossed in the reception room.
He scowled deeply when he saw Lord Kerif entering with me.
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, I went to the western tower with Lord Kerif for a bit. He said there was a place he wanted to show me.”
Soon after, sneering voices followed.
“I already don’t like that they came as an envoy, but now they’re being all leisurely too.”
I glanced at Lord Kerif, worried he might be offended. But his face remained unreadable, showing no emotion.
“But he was being considerate toward me…”
When I mumbled that softly, the Emperor’s already sour face turned even more twisted.
“Since when were you two so close?”