Chapter 40: The Inferiority Hidden in Liu Yan’s Heart

“Can’t believe she actually likes me like that…” Liu Yan couldn’t even entertain such a thought about Xi Zhengyi.

Sure, he was just like any ordinary boy, occasionally fantasizing about transmigrating to an ancient famine era—corrupt dynasty, the government handing him a few beautiful wives, then raising an army from the border, reversing the tide of collapse, propping up a falling empire! Ascending the throne as the new emperor while the world hailed his loyalty…

But realistically speaking, there was no way that was happening.

As for girls falling for him at first sight, he had even less confidence in that.

He still held onto a certain “belief.”

Xia You dated him because her family was poor and he had pursued her for a long time. She agreed to date him, but she never truly liked him.

For Liu Yan, the proof was simple—when Xia You met Zhou Bin, she dumped him without a second thought. That was all the confirmation he needed.

As for Bai Mengling, he leaned toward the idea that she was merely curious about his sudden confession. Like a “reward for the brave,” she didn’t really like him. After all, if she truly liked him, she wouldn’t have used excuses to trick him into meeting her parents, only to have him tested.

She didn’t like him—she was just looking for a suitable husband for the Bai Clan.

And Chen Tang?

Chen Tang wasn’t even on Liu Yan’s radar.

For him, Chen Tang was still his childhood friend, not the Demon Ball School Beauty everyone knew now.

Although he’d gradually forgotten what the original Chen Tang looked like—even the Chen Tang in his memories had transformed into Chen Tang.

That might be something sad.

But he didn’t actually feel sad about it.

Lately, the distance between him and Chen Tang had gotten a bit too close for a man and woman, but even if there was a one-in-ten-thousand chance she liked him…

So what?

It was only because he was her childhood friend, they had a foundation of feelings, and he was the only one who knew her secret. With all those factors combined, it made perfect sense for her to develop some fondness for him.

Nothing special about it.

Though to outsiders, he probably looked like a scumbag who specifically targeted school beauties. Some women even considered Liu Yan a valuable trophy.

Sometimes when he browsed the school forum, he’d noticed he’d gained a new title.

That title was called “Proof of the School Beauty.”

Being able to date Liu Yan was proof of being a school beauty.

But regardless—these were all external factors.

And everything he’d reasoned out had solid arguments behind it.

Therefore, it was obvious—no one would truly like him just because “I am Liu Yan.”

That was the core of who Liu Yan was.

They only had some interest in him due to coincidence, or held a suspected—not genuine—affection based on some logical framework.

The most practical example was still Xia You.

Xia You didn’t even know Zhou Bin well, yet she instantly decided he was her Destiny’s Child. That proved Zhou Bin had some quality that attracted her—something Liu Yan didn’t possess. That was why she could make such an easy decision.

The truth was, someone who really likes you doesn’t need you to chase them slowly, doesn’t need you to take initiative. They’ll make their own move.

This was the “inferiority” hidden in Liu Yan’s heart.

And this feeling was the source of his reluctance—the reason he wouldn’t win Xia You back and treated Bai Mengling coldly.

Was this inferiority sudden?

Probably not. He’d bet seventy to eighty percent of guys had similar thoughts. Like that song said, “If I were young and accomplished, without inferiority.”

But for most people, that could only ever exist in “if.”

For Liu Yan, he knew exactly what kind of person he was.

Besides cooking a couple of decent dishes, what real achievements did he have?

He wasn’t young and accomplished. So he felt inferior, even though he was ashamed to admit it to anyone.

So winning Xia You back, or directly challenging Zhou Bin—how stupid would that be? Wasn’t he already embarrassed enough?

Face Bai Mengling head-on?

Didn’t he know his place? Was he even worthy of being the Bai Family’s son-in-law?

Many said men were carefree and casual—but men were far more sensitive than people realized.

They were just used to enduring and swallowing their feelings.

That wasn’t being carefree; that was being in a state of prolonged hurt until they went numb.

Though these hurts… were hidden in things unseen.

Like a casual phrase: “Real men don’t cry.”

Men were stripped of the right to cry over small things.

“You’re the pillar of the family.”

Men lost the right to treat home as a safe haven.

“You’re a boy, you need thicker skin. Isn’t it just embarrassment? Shameless people conquer the world.”

Men lost the right to defend their dignity.

You could say that any “good kid” by conventional standards was inferior.

Those anxieties hid deep inside, subconsciously judging the value of everything, measuring their own worth, calculating the cost of their actions—even if their lives looked pretty good on the surface, pretty happy.

So when faced with Xi Zhengyi, a chance acquaintance, Liu Yan had no other thoughts.

Helping others was a pleasant thing.

Actually, many people didn’t realize that some people’s reason for helping others was—

I helped you, not asking for gratitude, but you at least owe me a favor. You can’t hurt me anymore.

Liu Yan didn’t consider himself that altruistic, but when someone asked for his help and he provided it, it made him feel at ease. So he accepted Xi Zhengyi’s request without hesitation and didn’t find it strange at all.

“Then I’ll leave it to you, junior~”

She followed her words with a cute emoji sticker.

“You’re welcome, senior.”

He sent back a dog-head emoji sticker.

Guess college girls, whether they were athletes or not, all loved cute emoji stickers.

He relaxed slightly, sinking into the sofa.

Chen Tang stood at the door of her room, silently watching Liu Yan. Liu Yan didn’t notice.

Xia You had been getting along well with Liu Yan’s parents lately.

Although at first, the old couple had been awkward—what did it even mean that their son’s ex-girlfriend came to work at their restaurant?

But after she arrived, she truly demonstrated impressive work ability. No wonder Chen Tang had introduced her as the King of Part-time Jobs.

Whether it was cleaning tables and dishes during downtime, handling the accounts, coordinating orders, or even mediating disputes between customers, the girl handled it all with ease.

The old couple was quite satisfied—they even wanted to sign her to a long-term contract.

Unfortunately, she was only working a summer job and still had studies to attend to.

Besides, the relationship between their son and her was hard to evaluate.

Ever since she learned Xia You was working there, Bai Mengling had stopped coming to eat. Seriously, coming over to not even see Liu Yan and getting roasted by Xia You? What was the point?

She wasn’t some woman with weird fetishes!

And besides, she was focused on her career now.

“Dreamling, are you free today?”

Du Zitang appeared before her. She knew he could only show up here with her parents’ approval—after her confrontation with them, they couldn’t act directly, so they took a roundabout route.

If she could fall for someone else, then Liu Yan wouldn’t matter anymore, right?

That’s why this man knew where she was and had even walked straight into the Bai Clan’s company, appearing in her office.

She looked at him, then pulled out her phone, about to call someone to have the guards and security personnel on duty today all fired.

But on second thought—these people were essentially following her parents’ orders. Giving such an order might satisfy her, but it didn’t seem kind.

She knew she probably wasn’t a truly kind person.

But Liu Yan was. If he found out she’d done something like that, he’d definitely think she was an ugly person.

So she couldn’t do it.

Shi Yiyi wasn’t here…

She composed herself: “Young Master Du, ignoring your own family’s business to come here—what brings you?”

“In my heart, no business is as precious as you, Dreamling. You should understand that.”

Bai Mengling just wanted to laugh at that.

This man wasn’t sincere.

She instinctively wanted to say, “Oh? Really? Then have the Du Clan give me all their assets right now, and I’ll believe your sincerity.”

But she knew that would score her a momentary verbal victory, only to make things more troublesome later. Then Du Zitang would say, “Of course! As long as you marry me, Dreamling, I’ll have my parents give you all our assets as a bride price!”

And she’d be stuck.

She couldn’t exactly say she was just talking out of her ass, right?

So she pressed a button by her hand.

A woman in a suit walked in.

“Escort Mr. Du to the reception room. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Understood, President Bai.”

When Bai Mengling arrived at the reception room, Du Zitang was sitting there, drinking tea.

She sat down, composed and dignified: “Time is limited, so I’ll get straight to the point, Du Zitang.”

She addressed him by his full name to show she was serious.

Du Zitang straightened up too.

“Don’t bother saying things like you truly love me. I know what you’re thinking. I’m good-looking, so it’s natural for men to like me, and our family backgrounds match. But have your parents ever told you that you and I can never happen?”

Du Zitang’s expression stiffened: “Why do you say that?”

Bai Mengling looked at his face and couldn’t help but sigh: “If the Bai Clan and Du Clan truly united, wouldn’t we be running rampant through X City? Do you think the higher-ups would allow such a powerful existence? The next day, my parents and yours would be summoned for a ‘chat.’ Then both our families would be ruined.”

“…”

“Looks like your parents deliberately didn’t tell you. They knew you wouldn’t make me like you—you’d make me hate you instead. Then if a conflict brews and the Du Clan becomes enemies with the Bai Clan, that’s the most satisfying outcome for them. Since neither side would go for the kill, you and I can never be together. I hope you can understand that at least.”

She paused for a dozen seconds, giving him enough time to think: “If you’re just operating on a man’s most basic impulse—wanting to sleep with a woman of high status and good looks—then say so directly. I’ll have my security guards carry you out and toss you from this building. That’ll completely cut off your hopes and maintain the proper distance between the Bai and Du Clans.”

Du Zitang couldn’t open his mouth.

He couldn’t refute Bai Mengling.

Because she was already taking over the Bai Clan’s business, and word was she was doing a bang-up job, while he hadn’t taken over any of his family’s operations yet—which was why, to come to the Bai Clan, he needed her parents’ approval rather than being able to come directly as the Du Clan’s young master.

Bai Mengling could ignore him because on paper, he was unemployed.

She didn’t have to show his parents any face either.

“See, even though people call you an idiot, you’re not completely stupid. You can understand what I’m saying instead of throwing a tantrum because you can’t accept it.”

Her expression relaxed a bit: “Now let’s talk about something else. You’ve met Liu Yan. What do you think is the difference between you and him? Don’t think too long—just tell me your most basic feeling.”

“He’s sensible.”

Du Zitang gave his answer: “I thought he’d do a lot of things, but he did nothing. He just broke up with you.”

“And did that feel comfortable? I didn’t see your conversation, but I bet you weren’t comfortable at that moment.”

“How do you know?”

“Did you feel like there was contempt in his eyes—like he wasn’t breaking up with me because he was afraid of you, Du Zitang? Yet you also felt it was absurd, because the fact is he did break up with me because you came to see him.”

Du Zitang shot up from the sofa, staring at Bai Mengling in shock.

“Don’t be so tense. I just understand Liu Yan. Your feeling isn’t wrong. He didn’t break up with me because of you. Your arrival just reminded him he should break up with me. For him, it’s like… hmm, he knew he was having a nice dream, but he set an alarm in advance.

Because he still had to go live his normal life. And you were the alarm. Your appearance woke him up, so he gave up on me, gave up on the dream, and went back to his normal life. Do you think anyone has any feelings about an alarm clock?

At most, he’d occasionally recall the nice dream and savor it.”

“This is what you and I mean to him—and this is the charm he possesses that you don’t.”