“Goodness, please be careful.”
“Tha-thank you……”
“Drink slowly. You can give your greetings later.”
Was she always… this kind?
It was hard to understand since this was my first time meeting her both as the Empress and as a friend’s mother.
As the water washed away the coughing and soothed my throat, I finally managed a belated greeting.
“Thank you.”
“Please don’t feel so intimidated by me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the Empress’s words.
Part of it was because her relaxed demeanor helped ease my lingering tension, but mostly it was because her words reminded me exactly of Ray.
Of course, her hair was a deep brown, and her eyes were light brown, not gold.
The colors were different, but the resemblance in their features—likely because they were family—made it feel like Ray was right in front of me.
She seemed curious about why I was laughing, so now that I was feeling a little more comfortable, I replied with a smile.
“Actually, Ray… His Highness said something similar to me. You resemble him so much that it feels like I’m speaking to him. I apologize.”
“No need to apologize.”
As she accepted my apology, the Empress’s expression turned somewhat strange.
She looked happy, but also a little regretful, almost self-deprecating.
Her face carried a complex mix of emotions.
I couldn’t understand why she would make such a face in response to what I had said.
‘It didn’t seem like she disliked it, though.’
As I started to worry that I might’ve said something wrong, an awkward air settled between us.
The Empress quickly tried to dispel the mood.
“Oh dear, I invited you here only to keep you talking. You must be quite hungry, right?”
With a wave of her hand, food began arriving as if on cue.
It was true—I had been invited, gotten ready, traveled here, and all of it had delayed my usual meal time.
I was indeed hungry.
As soon as I recognized the food, my body reacted instinctively.
“Here, help yourself.”
“Thank you.”
With Her Majesty’s permission, I started with the appetizer soup, and my mind began to clear.
‘Now that I think about it… Ray didn’t get along well with his family, did he?’
The memory of him being attacked during our first meeting came to mind, and I began to wonder if the Empress had been involved in that incident.
‘Is that why she reacted like that to such a simple comment?’
It seemed plausible, yet somehow off.
When I mentioned Ray, there was clear affection in her expression.
So then why did she react that way when I said they resembled each other?
‘It’s complicated.’
Not every family is smooth, and perhaps the royal family is even more complex.
For a brief moment, I even wondered if Ray had some secret regarding his birth, but I quickly dismissed the thought.
Ray and the Empress did look alike, after all.
I even went so far as to wonder if perhaps he wasn’t her biological child, but Ray’s golden eyes convinced me otherwise.
Then what on earth was it… My mind felt clouded, but the meal continued. Just as the main dish was about to be served, the Empress spoke up again.
“Do you have anyone you’re engaged to, my lady?”
At the mention of engagement, the first person who came to mind was, inevitably, Pedro.
In all my life, he was the only one who had ever been called my fiancé.
I almost said his name out of reflex but held my tongue.
We were nothing to each other now.
There was barely any connection left, and anyone could tell with just a bit of inquiry.
Because of that, I hesitated… and the Empress’s eyes lit up the moment she noticed.
“Do you?”
“Ah, no. I don’t. There’s no such person.”
“That’s a relief.”
Startled by her piercing gaze, I frantically waved my hands, and only then did her expression soften.
But I was even more puzzled by her saying it was a “relief.”
‘What did she mean by that?’
It was hard to take “that’s a relief” in a positive sense when she was referring to the fact that I wasn’t engaged.
It wasn’t about whether I wanted to be or not.
Unless you had a religious calling or some physical issue, every nobleman and noblewoman was expected to marry.
Engagement was a prerequisite for that.
So unless you were a clergyman, not being engaged basically implied something was wrong with you.
I stayed silent, unsure what to say, and the Empress smiled gently as she gave me a knowing look.
“I say this as someone who’s been married… but a marriage for love is far happier than one made for the family’s benefit. I heard the Count and Countess of Estarote had a love marriage as well?”
“Oh, yes, that’s right.”
My parents met at the academy.
It wasn’t mandatory to attend, but my father enrolled to build connections as the next family head, and my mother joined to network with future merchants after graduation.
They had no connection at first because they were in different departments, but a chance encounter brought them together.
‘In the end, she didn’t get to run her own trading company, but she became the lady of a count’s house and now manages the family’s company…’
It wasn’t an unhappy ending. Watching how close my parents still were, I often found myself wishing for a marriage like theirs.
‘But I don’t think that’ll happen for me…’
Because I’m not popular.
I’ve never even met someone who stirred even a flicker of emotion in me, let alone a lover.
What kind of marriage could I possibly hope for?
Regardless of what I thought, the Empress continued speaking in her gentle voice.
“That’s right. Love like that is best when it forms between people who’ve spent time together since they were young. What about you, my lady? Is there anyone like that around you?”
“No, there’s not.”
“…That means there’s no one yet, right?”
“No, I mean, absolutely no one.”
I’ve lived through the future twice, and both times, I spent my life alone until the world ended.
Unless the world doesn’t end this time, I was alone until at least 23.
The Empress seemed shocked by my firm answer.
“That can’t be. If you think hard about it, I’m sure there’s someone who suits you.”
“Absolutely not.”
If there was someone, I wouldn’t have been unmarried at 23.
Her Majesty gave me a puzzled look as if she couldn’t understand why I was laughing bitterly.
Even after that, she continued asking a few more times—whether I’d like to think it over again, or whether there was someone who caught my eye.
For a moment, Ray came to mind, but I shook my head inwardly. Ray… was a bonus.
A special bonus that hadn’t existed in my previous life.
So I couldn’t be sure.
Whether he was someone meant for me, or just another person…
Maybe he was someone who was prepared for it, just momentarily lost his way.
“Because I have no idea how he lived in his past life.”
I knew that the First and Second Princes, who were of age, were engaged.
I’d also heard that the Third Prince was discussing an engagement.
But I had never heard anything about the Fourth Prince.
Since I knew the future, it was natural to choose the best future from my point of view.
However, I didn’t want my choice to deprive someone else of their opportunity.
‘He might have met someone better than me.’
Someone he truly, deeply loved.
Maybe, if I didn’t interfere, Ray could meet that person and fall in love with them as fate intended.
That’s why I was afraid to take a step forward.
I was afraid I might become the one to take away his opportunity.
It might seem cowardly, but it was a reasonable choice for me.
The Empress looked at me blankly for a moment, then bit her lip.
“Then, Lady, do you… Re—”
“Let’s stop there.”
Just as she was about to ask me something, a familiar voice interrupted, and when I turned my head—
“…Ray?”
A person wrapped completely in a black robe from head to toe stood there.
I’d seen that figure before.
Not in this life, but in a previous one.
Also, his appearance was slightly different.
Back then, he was an adult, so his head was much higher, and I could see his chin.
Now, his face was so buried in the hood I wondered if he could even see in front of him.
‘So it really is Ray.’
There’s a difference between guessing and seeing with your own eyes.
Just as my heart was about to race, the palace servants around us suddenly flinched and dropped to the floor in a deep bow.
Not because they were hurt—this was a gesture of respect toward royalty.
The only ones not moving were me and Her Majesty, the Empress.
‘Should I… should I bow too?’
Her Majesty, being of royal blood, didn’t need to bow to another royal.
But I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked around cautiously, then slowly stood up.
Some of the servants held titles, and I, a mere noble lady, couldn’t just sit idly.
Just as I was about to bow at the waist and knees—
“You don’t have to.”
Ray had come closer without me noticing and almost hugged me as he lifted me up.
Really?
I don’t have to?
Ray always said not to do anything, no matter what it was, so I couldn’t trust it completely.
So I turned my head toward the Empress, who could give me the real answer…
‘Huh?’
Why was she looking at me like that?
Her Majesty looked frightened.
At the same time, it was like she was seeing something incomprehensible—like something beyond understanding.
Yet behind that look, I could sense a strange hope and anticipation.
Why was she looking at me that way?
I was confused when suddenly, my arm was pulled.
“Let’s go.”
“Huh?”
“There’s no need to stay here any longer.”
“Wait, no—Ray!”
Ray started dragging me off, as if embracing me.
I tried to resist, but maybe because he was a boy, he was stronger than he looked—I couldn’t fight his strength.
“Wa-wait!”
The one who had summoned me was the Empress.
Even ignoring the fact that she was Ray’s mother, she was of higher rank than a prince.
Ray shouldn’t be acting like this.
‘…What is this?’
Contrary to my expectation that she would scold him, the Empress remained silent even as I was dragged away.
Even as we left the Empress’s quarters, no one stepped forward to stop us.