Bersia tightly pressed her lips together.
It was because of the conflicting emotions that arose the moment that question reached her.
She was angry at Usher for not behaving as she wished, but at the same time, she felt relieved that he didn’t.
She couldn’t understand the mechanism behind it herself.
However, she realized that he was a person more brilliant than she had thought.
That brilliance was so dazzling that it made her feel defeated.
It was ironic.
Because of that light, she had come to love him, but at the same time, that same light was the biggest obstacle to any progress between them.
Bersia knew that she and Usher was different in many ways.
And now, she understood what was the most different between them.
Her love was possessiveness.
It was about enclosing the other person completely in her embrace, not letting them escape.
On the other hand, Usher’s love was responsibility.
It was the heart to embrace the other, even if it meant getting hurt himself.
Bersia didn’t mind falling into the abyss if it meant being with him.
But Usher wouldn’t do that.
He would burn himself to pull the other person into the light.
Just like back then.
Even though he hadn’t intended anything, just like that moment when a hole was pierced into him and he was dying, he had smiled as he collapsed, knowing that the person in front of him was safe.
‘I hate that.’
But he wouldn’t understand.
He was someone who cherished responsibility and sacrifice, and if danger came again, he would place the other person above any promises.
Her throat burned.
His clear smile was shaking her from inside.
Why? Why did she think that she could possess him and shake him to get what she wanted? Now, she was beginning to think that it might be difficult to do that.
Because his light was so bright and warm, she thought it might not be hers forever.
What happens when you look at the sun?
What happens when you reach out to hold him?
Maybe there would be destruction.
For the first time, Bersia thought of such a thing.
And yet, she couldn’t pull away, so she was lost in confusion.
Crack—
Usher tightened his grip on her hand.
He smiled benevolently as if to reassure her.
Ah, so this was what this feeling was—resentment.
Even in this moment, she wanted to break him and dye him with her own color, but she feared what would come after.
When the result she didn’t want came to be, she didn’t think she would be able to overcome it.
So, Bersia’s answer was to be withheld.
Any answer would bring regret now.
“… Let me think about it.”
The excitement she had felt all along finally settled down for the first time.
But she wished, no, hoped, that he wouldn’t distance himself.
She wished he would remain close to her.
“Ah, thank you!”
At the end of that smile, she always wanted to be the one there.
Thump—
Her heartbeat carried a faint sense of unease.
Usher woke up early in the morning.
After entering Bersia’s body, he had been fighting against his morning drowsiness, but today, it seemed like he had finally achieved some success, as he was spared from being woken up by Darlin in a disheveled state.
For some reason, that made him feel proud, and he started humming a tune.
After fluffing up the blanket and making the bed, he continued humming as he washed up.
He felt good as his hair was brushed.
Of course, compared to when someone else had done it, there was a certain emptiness, but he didn’t admit it.
That was when Darlin appeared.
“Saintess! You… you’re awake…?”
Darlin’s wide eyes made Usher feel even prouder.
“Yeah, good morning.”
His bright smile and shining eyes looked refreshingly pure.
Darlin blinked in surprise, and after a moment, she grabbed the comb from Usher’s hand.
“I’ll do it! If I knew you’d be up this early, I would’ve come sooner!”
“It’s fine! I can get up and get ready on my own now!”
He said it sincerely.
After the last mission, Usher had no problem bathing alone anymore.
He still felt embarrassed about being seen naked, so he avoided it, but it didn’t really interfere with washing.
A smile spread across his face.
Darlin’s expression, however, looked a little empty.
“You’re not saying you don’t need me anymore, right…?”
“Eh? No!”
Could it be that he had hurt her? Usher shook his head vigorously, and only then did Darlin’s expression calm down.
Usher sighed in relief.
Then he left his tangled hair to Darlin.
I wonder if Darlin is much better at this kind of thing…
The feeling of the comb smoothly passing through his hair was satisfying.
As he became drowsy and squinted his eyes, Darlin let out a soft giggle.
“By the way, what made you wake up so early?”
“Hm…? Ah… well, it’s just… I thought it’d be a bit much to always have you wait on me for my baths…”
“Hmm…”
Darlin’s eyes glinted with mischief.
Usher had no idea how the relationship between him and Bersia was being gossiped about within the Order.
How his actions, like personally going to the barracks to greet her on training days, were being perceived.
It was a shallow, biased assumption, but Darlin thought:
The reason Usher wouldn’t let anyone help him with his bath was because there must be a reason for him to keep his body hidden.
Could it be that something shameful happened between the two of them—something they wanted to keep a secret?
Darlin’s gaze shifted to Usher’s neck, which was tightly covered.
There was nothing visible.
That meant only one thing—it sparked Darlin’s imagination.
Usher, unaware of any misunderstandings, let Darlin handle his hair with a languid expression.
And thus, the day began.
It was time for him to meet with Bersia.
“Good morning.”
“Yes, did you sleep well, Saintess?”
“Well, somewhat.”
Though she answered this way, her expression revealed the truth of it.
Bersia didn’t look entirely refreshed.
Perhaps she had been troubled by something, as the area beneath her eyes was a little dark.
Usher smiled bitterly.
It was probably because of their conversation the day before.
He steadied his heart.
“No matter what I say, I can’t reassure the Saintess with words alone.”
Humans were creatures with a strong tendency to cling to negative experiences.
Usher understood that kind of wound well.
After all, he himself still couldn’t forget the events from over ten years ago.
So, for her, the moment she collapsed after the artificial witch’s malevolent plot would have been an unforgettable sorrow.
How can I reassure Bersia?
He thought about it, but the only answer that seemed possible at that moment was one.
“I just need to convey my true feelings.”
Usher smiled brightly.
He knew that a sincere smile could save the world.
It was that smile that had saved him during moments when everything around him seemed to fall apart.
He still remembered the moment when Bersia had reached out to him, wiping away his tears.
Now, he knew that he wasn’t the person she had imagined, but that wasn’t a reason for her to be disappointed.
As he had said to her before, even hypocrisy could be virtuous.
That phrase implied the simple truth that “Salvation comes not from words, but from actions.”
“Shall we go out for a bit? The weather is wonderful!”
“…Yesterday, I…”
“I’m so sorry!”
Bersia’s eyes widened in surprise.
Seeing this, Usher bowed his head and said:
“I acted too rashly. I’ll be more aware of your concerns, Saintess. I’ll make sure you no longer have to worry like that!”
He didn’t expect her to immediately understand everything he was trying to convey.
He planned to show her slowly, but surely, through his actions.
What would be the first thing he needed to do for her?
After much thought, Usher came to a decision.
“Saintess! Let’s go train and build up some strength!”
“?”
“Saintess, as you said, I am far too weak! Ah, I didn’t mean to say you’re weak…! I mean, I’m not fit for battle! If I’m out of breath from just running, how can I possibly escape when danger strikes!?”
There was a sparkle in his eyes.
Bersia looked flustered.
“What… does that mean?”
“Watch this! I’ll prove to you that I can put your worries to rest! Just trust me and follow along!”
With that, he suddenly grabbed her hand.
Bersia’s eyes wavered.
Immediately, a bitter smile spread across her face.
“You really want to do everything, don’t you?”
He knew she didn’t like it.
So, Usher said:
“Just watch me!”
He would show her that he wasn’t someone to be worried about, that he wasn’t someone to be looked at with concern.
And so, he dragged Bersia out.
They began running in the garden.
To summarize, it went like this:
“Out of breath already? I can still do more.”
“W-wait…!” for a moment,
“Was I supposed to show you how weak I am?”
Weren’t you going to show me?
“Ugh…! Hah…!”
Bersia’s body wasn’t built for endurance.
Running with her, who had never trained in her life, was a grueling and nearly impossible challenge compared to Usher’s years of physical conditioning.
Usher looked miserable.
Fortunately, Bersia laughed bitterly at the sight.
Whether he should be happy that she laughed or feel embarrassed for showing such a pitiful side of himself, he wasn’t sure.
“Th-this isn’t…!” Hah…
“I know it’s hard, but you’re doing well.” He encouraged her with a grin.
“Ugh….” Usher’s eyes spun.
And then, he suddenly collapsed to the ground, twitching.
Days passed.
Usher worked diligently on his strength training every day, while Bersia observed him with a complicated look on her face.
But at least the tense atmosphere had eased a little.
Of course, her attitude and thoughts hadn’t changed.
“Stop it. Stay out of dangerous things and just hide behind me.”
“No, I won’t…!”
She urged him to give up.
Though her tone was playful, Usher could sense the sincerity behind it.
It was a subtle expression of the gloom and clinginess that sometimes slipped through her, making it harder for him to give up.
Then one day, this happened:
“Pirates, you say…?”
“Hm! We’ve received intelligence that the pirates on the islands might be connected with the heretics! It seems serious, so I’ll go personally!”
Their next assignment was decided.
It was the sea.