Lin Xiaojue made some space, letting Xia Yao sit on the bed.
Xia Yao did not resist; perhaps this was the kind of psychological comfort she needed most right now. She sat gently beside Lin Xiaojue, maintaining a short distance between them.
‘Is she still worried?’
Lin Xiaojue sighed in her heart.
“Xiao Xia, earlier… No, Xiao Xia, do you like drawing?”
She cast her gaze toward the scribbled design sketches on the desk. Although she couldn’t see the whole thing, they possessed a considerable sense of beauty.
“Yes.”
Xia Yao’s answer was brief, with almost no detectable emotion.
“Do you find drawing fun, Xiao Xia?”
Xia Yao nodded firmly and gripped the hem of her shirt. “Um… Predecessor, why are you asking this?”
She looked up, then quickly lowered her head again, not daring to look Lin Xiaojue in the eye.
“Because I want to get to know you, Xiao Xia.”
Two warm, soft hands cupped her cheeks once more. Those gentle golden eyes came into view, like the winter sun — warm and comforting.
Suddenly, those eyes blinked twice, and her willow-like brows furrowed slightly. “Hm… No, I should say, I want to get to know you even more deeply, Xiao Xia.”
The brows soon unfurled into a warm, radiant smile. “We have been on a team for five years now, but there are so many things I haven’t truly, properly tried to understand about everyone.”
“Even though I often come to your house, and even though we fight side by side against residual beasts every day, I still don’t know what the current Xiao Xia is like.”
“Speaking of which, it really was a surprise. I didn’t expect that you could actually swim, Xiao Xia. A landlubber like me still hasn’t learned…”
Xia Yao opened her mouth in surprise and then quickly closed it. She turned her face slightly, as if trying to break free from the warmth of those small hands.
In the end, it only caused one hand to move to her lips and the other to the base of her ear, leaving her in a comical pose.
In an instant, a scarlet flush spread across Xia Yao’s face.
“Xiao Xia.”
Lin Xiaojue withdrew her hands, and Xia Yao’s gaze faltered slightly.
“Do you know, Xiao Xia? Back then, I really thought I was going to die. The seawater was so, so cold. It pressured me until I couldn’t breathe. In that moment, I really remembered a lot of things…”
“A lot?”
“Yes, many, many things.”
Lin Xiaojue shifted her body, and the two of them drew closer. She met Xia Yao’s gaze and continued calmly.
“I remembered the first time I received my transformation device, and I remembered the first time I met Su Yaqing… and the first time I met you, Xiao Xia.”
Her gaze froze.
“Yes… Back then, I was still taking an exam when a residual beast suddenly burst in.”
Xia Yao reminisced. It had been a humanoid monster with twisted limbs and an inverted head. It wore a student uniform and held a pen and paper, roaring, sobbing, and groaning in pain.
It had scrawled many words crookedly across the paper, but Xia Yao had been in too much of a panic at the time to see them clearly.
She had been scared witless, able only to stand frozen in place amidst the chaos of that exam. As that “student” approached, a thought even surfaced in her mind.
‘I want to die.’
That had been her midterm exam. If she didn’t do well, the teacher would inform her parents and move her to a class with poorer resources.
She wasn’t entirely confident and didn’t want to see her parents, yet she had come to school for the exam anyway, numb like a puppet.
She was glad the exam had been disrupted, but she was also pained by it.
Then, just as the monster opened its bloody maw and lunged at her, a will to live surged within her. She grabbed a chair. Even if it provided only a little cover, she at least didn’t want to die right then.
***
Immediately after, a beam of light illuminated the entire classroom, and those golden eyes appeared before her.
“Xiao Xia, there is a question I’ve had in my heart for a long time. It’s a question about you.”
Now, those eyes were gazing at her once again. “Why didn’t you run away back then?”
‘I’m sorry, Xiao Xia. I don’t mean to blame you.’
Lin Xiaojue gradually lowered her eyes. She knew those words might be hurtful, especially to the current Xia Yao. “That was terrifying, wasn’t it?”
“I…”
Xia Yao lowered her voice and let out a murmur, her words fading into the air. “I… I don’t know either. I really wanted to run, but…”
“But… you also wanted to find a way to escape, right, Xiao Xia? It was just that there was nowhere left to run, wasn’t there?”
Those warm, soft hands climbed onto her face again. This time, Xia Yao did not resist, allowing the other girl to cup her face.
“Xiao Xia, we always encounter so many things. Happy things, joyful things, sad things, and things we cannot resist.
Sometimes, things happen that we didn’t expect, yet we cannot run from them. So, only one choice remains: to face them. I think you are a truly strong person, Xiao Xia.”
“Predecessor… I’m not that kind of person.”
Xia Yao broke free from the hold and pulled up her sleeve to wipe the corners of her eyes, letting out a pained sob. “I’m not…”
‘I just want to die. I want to run away. I don’t want to live this suffocating life anymore. I don’t want to keep living like this.’
It was a life like a bird in a cage, unable to catch even a glimpse of the outside world all day long, only able to die with fantasies while longing for freedom. But once out of the cage, she couldn’t fly.
“I’m not…”
Xia Yao lowered her head and wept, warm tears streaming down her face. Just then, a small hand rested on top of her head.
“But I think that you are exactly that kind of person, Xiao Xia.”
Xia Yao’s crying stopped.
“Your ability allows you to constantly perceive the emotions of others, right?”
The hand rubbed warm circles, giving Xia Yao the feeling of returning to her childhood. Her grandmother had once stroked her like this, but after she passed away, it never happened again.
“Emotions are very intense. Even just chatting with others, you can feel different emotions from them… happy ones, sad ones, positive ones, and negative ones. And the ones beating inside the chest. Xiao Xia.”
Lin Xiaojue grabbed Xia Yao’s drooping arm and pressed it against her own chest. The warm softness transmitted the heartbeat. Even through the pajamas, Xia Yao could feel the thumping heart.
No, it wasn’t the Predecessor’s; it was her own.
“Xiao Xia, what emotions do you feel from me?”
Xia Yao was momentarily at a loss for words. She didn’t need contact to perceive emotions, but she still moved closer involuntarily, as if Lin Xiaojue possessed some sort of magic.
It was a gentle emotion. Like water — mild, all-encompassing, soft, delicate, and indispensable.
She couldn’t say what this emotion was. Was it peace? No. Happiness? No. Joy? Even less so. It was peaceful and warm, making one unable to resist wanting to draw closer.
Xia Yao couldn’t find the words to describe these emotions. “I… I’m not sure.”
After a long silence, that was the only answer Xia Yao could give.
“Then feel it properly.”
“Ah!”
Xia Yao let out a startled cry as she was pulled into Lin Xiaojue’s arms. She rested her head on Lin Xiaojue’s lap, meeting her gaze.
Then, the hand that had been stroking her head earlier returned once again, over and over, gentle and slow.
Xia Yao couldn’t help but relax. She gradually let down her guard, and her clenched hands slowly unfurled, revealing the two tear tracks on her face.
Minutes and seconds ticked by, and the room fell into a gentle silence.
“Hey, I say, Xiao Xia.”
Suddenly, a soft, warm voice came from above.
“Hmm?”
Lin Xiaojue leaned down, looking at the slightly dazed Xia Yao. She brought with her a scent of gardenia and a warm breath. “You actually kissed me, didn’t you, Xiao Xia?”
“Wh-what…?”
A scarlet flush once again flooded Xia Yao’s face. She turned her head and whispered under her breath, her face flushed red.
“Heh.”
Lin Xiaojue laughed. The sound was like silver bells, like a soft breeze brushing past Xia Yao’s ear. “Then you have to take responsibility, Xiao Xia.”
Xia Yao looked completely taken aback, a slender finger pressed to her lips.
“So, I will take responsibility for you too.”
‘Come home with me.’
Lin Xiaojue kept those words in her heart. She knew she couldn’t say it before, and she couldn’t say it now, but in the near future, she would definitely say it.
Perhaps on some winter night many years later, Lin Xiaojue would still look back on this night and the promise she made to Xia Yao.
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