“Can you act like a normal person for once? I’m begging you, okay?!”
Shen Xiyan was about to lose it.
Anyone hearing what she just said would’ve cracked too.
Even if you find it—what are you going to do with it?
Sniff it?
Or taste it?
“Can we please not be disgusting?”
“What? I’m just worried about you! How else am I supposed to know if you’ve been… overindulging? That stuff’s bad for your health.”
“What if you ruin your body now—what am I supposed to do with you in the future?”
“…???”
Qin Sheng grinned triumphantly, eyes gleaming with mischief, her voice thick with flirtation.
“What, did I say something wrong? Can you swear you’ve never done it?”
They say women in their thirties are wolves, and in their forties, tigers—But none of them hold a candle to teenage boys.
They could do it to a hole in the door. Or dig a pit in the ground and go at it.
“Or wait… do you prefer the toilet?”
Qin Sheng cupped her chin, narrowing her eyes at Shen Xiyan.
“Yeah, makes sense. If you did it in your room it’d stink. You probably sneak off in the middle of the night to the toilet, hiding from Auntie and Wenwen, handling it with tissue, right?”
“Gimme your phone—I wanna check your history. If you like teachers, I’ll cosplay as a teacher. If it’s nurses, then nurse it is…”
“…???”
Shen Xiyan flushed like a kettle at full boil. Qin Sheng’s fox-like smirk made him feel like she’d just dug out a secret he’d buried six feet under.
What else were teenage boys supposed to do?
Leave those… youthful tissues to rot in the trash can?
Auntie would definitely “clean house” after that…
“Back then, tossing it in the toilet was one thing,” Qin Sheng said sweetly, “but now that you’ve got me, why waste it?”
“You know how expensive my skincare routine is? I heard that stuff works even better. I just want to try it.”
As she spoke, she knelt on Shen Xiyan’s bed like a delicate, seductive anime heroine, tilting her pale face upward.
It was a pose Shen Xiyan had seen way too many times—in those kinds of videos. Instinctively, he stepped back two paces.
“GET OUT!”
Qin Sheng burst into laughter at his reaction.
She didn’t expect to actually get her hands on him—just teasing him was fun enough.
And judging by that little tent…
Clearly, he wasn’t unaffected.
“If you’re not gonna use it, at least burn them,” she teased. “It’s good fire safety—and supports the national cremation policy.”
Shen Xiyan was exhausted.
It had only been two days since meeting Qin Sheng, and he’d already lost count of how many times he’d yelled at her.
But the girl was absolutely shameless now—like gum stuck to his shoe.
She flopped onto his bed with a dramatic plop, rolled around like a caterpillar, and then buried her face in his covers.
“Xiyan… can you bring me some water? I’m scared I’ll get thirsty at night.”
“Xiyaaan~”
Shen Xiyan turned on his heel and walked out.
But Qin Sheng tiptoed to the door, counted to three under her breath, then popped her head around the corner.
Shen Xiyan had no idea he’d just walked straight into a trap.
The moment he peeked in, she lunged. Reflexively, he caught her mid-air, then realized what he was doing—and chucked her back onto the bed.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I should be asking you! Why’d you come back so fast? Thought I was rummaging through the trash again?”
She flailed dramatically, stomping her foot.
“Do I look like that kind of girl to you?”
Shen Xiyan nodded, and promptly emptied the trash.
“I’m not!” Qin Sheng shouted.
Wow, he really knows me, she thought, almost impressed.
Once Shen Xiyan left again, Qin Sheng smirked, opened the wardrobe, and slid open the drawer.
Inside: a neat stack of underwear.
She picked one up and sniffed.
Okay, maybe a little perverted.
No weird smells, no detergent scent—just a faint closet musk.
Judging by the size, it was probably too small now, tucked away and forgotten.
Squirrel syndrome. Can’t wear them but can’t throw them away either.
“I need something he wore recently.”
She shuffled through a few pairs—no luck.
Finally, she sniffed his pajamas and—bingo.
That familiar, comforting scent.
But just then, she heard footsteps in the living room.
Panicking, she slammed the wardrobe shut and dove onto the bed.
Too late. Shen Xiyan flung open the door just as she landed, catching her red-handed.
Her guilty expression gave it all away.
“What are you doing now?”
“Nothing! You already took out the trash, didn’t you?”
She looked him dead in the eye, then pulled the covers over her head.
Two pale legs dangled off the edge—one slipper on, the other missing.
Shen Xiyan rolled his eyes and turned to grab clothes for a shower… only to find a suspiciously missing pair of underwear.
His expression twisted into something between rage and disbelief.
“Qin Sheng. Did you touch my clothes?”
She knew she was busted, cursed herself for not holding back, and played dead.
“So sleepy… going to bed now…”
“QIN SHENG.”
“Ababababa!!”
“Can you please be normal for once?! Who the hell goes around sniffing guys’ underwear?!”
“If you hit me, I’m telling Auntie!”
Hearing the fury in his voice, Qin Sheng bolted, cocooning herself in the comforter like a terrified dumpling.
“Go ahead and scream!”
Shen Xiyan stared at the wriggling ball of chaos on his bed.
How did I end up with this feral gremlin?
The Qin Sheng from his past life had never been like this…
He ripped off the covers.
“Go sleep in Wenwen’s room. Right now. I mean it!”
“NO!”
That sent her into full meltdown.
Clutching the blanket like it was her last defense, she shoved at him, face flushed red, shouting, “Wenwen’s asleep! I don’t want to bother her! I’m tired too! YOU get out! Out! Out!”
And then he smacked her down with one palm.
Realizing brute force wouldn’t work, Qin Sheng resorted to shamelessness, burrowing deeper under the blanket, chanting:
“Go away go away go away…”
He tugged at the cover. She gripped tighter. Then came the patented Qin Sheng barrel roll, muffled grunt, and a victorious pin-down.
“So what if I like the way your clothes smell? It’s not like I’m some kind of perv, okay?!”
“You sniffed them?” Shen Xiyan was mortified.
“You’re sleeping in Wenwen’s room tonight! No arguments!”
“Ah! Yamete~~ Yamete~~”
Shen Xiyan’s face twitched violently.
He glared at the squirming human burrito on his bed, eyes full of murderous intent.
After a few minutes of ostrich-mode, Qin Sheng realized something was off.
She peeked out, sat up, and whispered pitifully:
“I really didn’t mean to… please don’t kick me out…”
Shen Xiyan massaged his temples.
Something was pulsing there—and not in a good way.
“Qin Sheng… the more I look at you, the less I understand you.”
“Your parents aren’t divorced. Of course you don’t understand.”
Her voice turned faint.
“Sometimes I think it’d be better if mine just died. At least… back then they loved me.”
“…???”
The annoyance vanished from Shen Xiyan’s face.
She looked… genuinely hurt.
“Xiyan, you know…” she said quietly, “I have a father, but I’ve never seen him as one. Especially after he brought that woman home…”
“Everyone’s jealous of my looks. Of our money. But I envy people with happy families. My dad’s never home.”
“My stepmom hates me. You know what it’s like growing up completely alone? I have zero sense of security.”
Shen Xiyan nodded, his anger fading as he really listened for once.
“So when I found you, I knew you were the one I needed. Because you made me feel safe…”
“Just because I was a step late?” he asked, eyes conflicted.
“Isn’t that enough?” Qin Sheng replied, boldly.
“Yeah, I went through your clothes. Because I like your scent. Because for years I’ve never slept peacefully a single night—just sleeping pills, always sleeping pills.”
“I just want to sleep holding you. But since you won’t let me, I try to make do with your shirts. I didn’t even know what was in that drawer—I didn’t mean to find that.”
“I’m not a pervert! I just want to feel safe. Don’t you understand what that means?”
She held up her pinky, solemnly.
Shen Xiyan felt an immense wave of guilt crash down on him.
“…Say it,” he said.
“Everyone knows dads are the safest figures ever. But I don’t have one… so how about we sleep together tonight? All night long. And I’ll call you Daddy—hey! Don’t hit me!”
She scrambled to her feet, fixing her hair after his slap, stomping after him.
“You stingy jerk!”