The bathroom mirror was clouded with a thin layer of mist.
I splashed my face with cold water for the third time, droplets sliding down from the tips of my hair, seeping into my collar and tracing icy trails along my pale skin.
There, in the mirror, the familiar girl’s expression was gloomy, as if nothing but deep disappointment could be seen on her face.
“Do you think I’m ridiculous too?”
Whispering softly to the girl in the mirror, I saw that gentle girl try her best to suppress it, but the corners of her lips still revealed a bitter, sour smile.
When I pushed open the fire door, Yan Dong was leaning against the metal railing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, staring blankly at the distant Central Business District.
The afternoon sunlight cast a blurry golden patch over the trendy logo on his hoodie.
Even when he heard my approaching footsteps, he didn’t look back—he just lazily said, “Housekeeper Lin, you’ve been in the bathroom for so long, don’t tell me you were crying?”
“If Young Master doesn’t want to wait, you can go back first.”
“No way. What if you get lured away to a nightclub? My dad would cut off my allowance.”
Yan Dong snorted, turning to size up my damp shirt collar.
The afternoon light turned to golden dust on his eyelashes.
“Miss Lin, do you feel insulted?”
I ignored the mockery in Yan Dong’s words, shook my head expressionlessly, and leaned on the railing in front of the window just like him, staring out at the scenery in boredom.
“I’ve long since grown numb to things like this.”
My fingertips unconsciously scratched at the rust in the seam of the railing, letting the rusty flakes fall softly into my palm.
“When I worked the Convenience Store Night Shift, a drunk flipped my dinner tray. When I delivered food in a downpour, I got a Deposit Deduction after a complaint. On the Assembly Line, the Supervisor once cursed me out just because he was in a bad mood. During a Shopping Mall promotion, a Big Mama tore off my Work ID Badge just looking for trouble…”
Yan Dong suddenly snorted with laughter, the scent of cedar rushing closer as he turned.
“And who was it just now who got so angry they wrinkled their suit pants? Now you’re acting all calm and collected.”
I stared blankly at the swaying Red Hairband in the glass reflection.
After a long moment, I let out a muffled, self-mocking laugh.
“I’m not angry, just disappointed. All those Formula Laws I stayed up late to work out, the Simulation Test Papers I scrimped to buy, the tattered mistake books, and the Award Certificates and Trophies I treasured… In the end, none of it means anything. In other people’s eyes, a pair of bare, smooth thighs is worth more than any of that.”
My cold cheek rested against my warm arm as I kept my gaze fixed on the rolling clouds along the distant skyline.
Suddenly, I felt that I was truly pathetic in this moment.
In the blurry reflection of the floor-to-ceiling window, I saw a girl dressed only in black and white, with the only splash of color being the two Red Hairbands drooping from her ponytail.
“I really am just a test-taking machine. But now, even the one thing I took pride in has become a joke.”
I stayed silent for a long time, and only after my mood steadied a little did I turn my face to meet Yan Dong’s, that always unreadable expression.
“Young Master, how do you see me? Do you think I’m a pitiful creature who needs sympathy to survive, or just a streetwalker who can only fetch a good price in a sexy nightdress?”
“What are you talking about?”
Yan Dong’s face tightened as he straightened up, the hem of his hoodie brushing the rusty railing.
“Wasn’t it you who said you’d sell yourself to pay off debts last time at the Shopping Mall?”
The scent of cedar was suddenly mixed with a faint whiff of gunpowder—a sign he was about to get angry.
What Yan Dong referred to was what happened the first day I turned into a girl—a man at the Shopping Mall wanted to pay 1.5 million to keep me for a year and have me bear his child.
If Yan Dong hadn’t stepped in, I probably would have agreed, even knowing that man might just want to trick me into bed.
Even now…
“That’s different.”
I instinctively gripped the edge of the railing, rusty powder already ground into dark red dust in my palm.
“At least, at least… I wouldn’t have to…”
“How is it different?”
Yan Dong suddenly stepped closer. I could even see the tiny cotton pills between the fibers of his hoodie.
“Either way, you’re putting a price tag on yourself and selling. What’s the difference between wearing a miniskirt to class and having someone else’s child?”
The wind on the fourteenth floor suddenly thickened, the distant traffic’s drone mingling with the crisp flutter of the Jasmine Hair Tie as it drifted on the breeze, boring tiny holes into my eardrums.
Straightening up, I stared at the reflection of the bedraggled girl with the messy ponytail and damp collar, and finally let out a defeated laugh.
“Young Master is right. I really have no right to be picky. If I’m selling myself either way, what does it matter how?”
“Lin Yunxia!”
Yan Dong suddenly called my full name in a low voice, his Adam’s apple rolling violently in the shadow of his collar.
“Just because you have no choice, does that mean you should let people trample on what you care about most? Did that kick you gave me in the snow yesterday get eaten by a dog?!”
His voice was unexpectedly agitated, and his eyes surged with a burning emotion I couldn’t decipher.
I was so stunned I just lowered my head, rubbing at the cracked paint on the railing.
“Young Master really knows how to hold a grudge.”
“No kidding. You think I can forget that in a day or two? I almost lost my manhood, you know? Want to try and see how much it hurts?”
His grumbling made me want to laugh for some reason.
I tilted my head up to meet his gaze and asked a question I’d wanted to ask for a long time.
“In Young Master’s eyes, am I a boy or a girl now?”
“Lin Yunxia, is there any part of you that isn’t a girl?”
“Yeah.”
The expected answer still made my heart ache a little. I lowered my eyes, silently watching the drawstring of Yan Dong’s hoodie sway with his heavy breathing.
“What a disappointing answer.”
“What, did I say something wrong? If you’re a girl, does that mean you’re not my family’s maid anymore? If you’re a girl, does that mean you’re not Lin Yunxia?”
Yan Dong suddenly stepped forward, grabbing my ponytail and easily pulling off the loose Jasmine Hair Tie.
“You’re a living person, not a debt-repayment machine! Remember this—only I get to bully you. If anyone else dares touch a single hair on your head, you kick them to death for me, got it?”
The wind on the fourteenth floor gently lifted my messy black hair, and even the scent of cedar in my nose seemed less harsh.
“Young Master’s way of comforting people is pretty unique.”
“Who the hell is comforting you?”
Yan Dong’s fingers brushed lightly over the white petals of the Jasmine Hair Tie, then clenched it tightly in his palm.
“If you’re going to cry, do it far away. Don’t let people see and start rumors that I’m a domestic abuser.”
“Got it.”
I caught the hair tie he tossed back at me.
The faint fragrance of jasmine drifted from the dangling Red Hairbands, mingling with the lingering scent of cedar from his fingers.
“But you’re right, I shouldn’t be wallowing here. After all, I’m Lin Yunxia, the one who even dared to kick Master Yan.”
Lifting my hand, I retied my messy hair into a neat ponytail, then finally straightened up and met his gaze calmly.
My voice, too, grew steadier.
“Young Master, please wait here for me for ten minutes. I’ll finish up and then go home to mop the floor.”
Yan Dong leaned his back lazily against the railing, that arrogant face now wearing his usual mocking smile.
“Remember to make a big scene later—don’t embarrass me. Now hurry up and get going.”