“Not…”
“Not… I’m not a monster…”
As dusk fell, the woman sat by the cross-river bridge.
Her expression was vacant, almost deranged, as she muttered to herself.
It was autumn, and the night carried a chill. The harsh wind attacked her, and her thin nightgown offered no protection.
Her whole body shivered, her long lashes trembling, but she seemed oblivious, still babbling nonsense.
“Sorry…”
“I’m sorry… Mom was bad…”
“Let’s go together, okay? Mom’s scared…”
Without thinking, she touched her slightly swollen belly.
Tears of crystal slid from the corners of her eyes, but her expression was as if she couldn’t control herself.
A will to die swirled deep in her heart.
She struggled desperately, but in the end, she could bear it no longer.
She was crying, rambling, curled up in a corner by the bridge, as if the entire world had nothing to do with her.
Behind her on the road, vehicles came and went.
But finally, when someone noticed the woman’s presence, she had already closed those beautiful, blank eyes.
Step by step, she crossed the guardrail, heading toward that unknown abyss.
splash
The bitter, salty river water surged up, filling her mouth and nose.
A suffocating feeling instantly spread through her limbs.
Her whole body twitched in pain, but she felt no despair. Instead, there was only a sense of release.
This feeling… going back to before…
Like when Grandma was still here.
In the swaying view, eternal darkness surrounded her. The faint light faded, and all fell silent.
“Ah!”
In the middle of the night, Lin Xinyuan’s heart pounded as she suddenly opened her almond eyes, breathing rapidly.
That indescribable suffocation still lingered.
She felt as if she had taken on the woman’s perspective, personally experiencing the entanglement of despair and release.
She no longer knew how many times she had dreamed it.
Before, it was a long time between such dreams. But as time passed, she found them becoming more frequent, more real…
As if she had lived through it herself.
From their first meeting and falling in love to the tragedy, she now experienced it almost every night, yet she still couldn’t see the man’s face.
The woman’s experiences were so similar to hers… no, they were almost identical up to high school.
But what came after was vastly different. The woman hadn’t been so lucky; that ending was too despairing.
In a daze, Lin Xinyuan once again had to entertain that bold thought.
No! Impossible!
Absolutely not.
Thinking this, Lin Xinyuan’s small face instantly turned pale. She still couldn’t believe this absurd dream.
But ever since the Jade Bracelet incident, she had always held a certain awe for supernatural matters, making her unable to help suspecting that this dream was an omen.
Could it be the ending for her and Feng Ge?
The more Lin Xinyuan thought, the more uncomfortable she felt. Her heart felt like insects were gnawing at it.
Clear tears slipped from the corners of her eyes uncontrollably.
It hurt so much… I want to…
Die?
Suddenly, even Lin Xinyuan herself was startled by her own thought. Her whole body trembled uncontrollably.
In the end, like the woman in her dream, she curled her delicate body into a corner, hugged her head, bit her pink lips hard, and her eyes were filled with fear and struggle.
“No…”
“No… I don’t want to die…”
Lin Xinyuan kept murmuring, her whole body eerily cold. She felt so awful that she could only keep crying.
“Xiaoyuan?”
When Qin Nanfeng was awakened by the sobbing, he immediately realized that the person in his arms was no longer there.
He called out instinctively, but there was no answer.
In that moment, he was fully alert and instantly sensed something wrong.
He followed the sound by the faint moonlight coming through the window and saw that the person who had been obediently in his arms was now curled up in the corner of the wall not far away.
Her arms were wrapped tightly around her legs, her face buried in her knees, her shoulder-length black hair disheveled, and her whole body trembling.
He couldn’t see her expression clearly, only hear her faint weeping.
In the darkness, this scene was especially eerie.
But Qin Nanfeng didn’t think that way. His face gradually showed unease and heartache.
His Adam’s apple moved. He got out of bed, stepped toward the corner, and his voice was low and hoarse:
“Xiaoyuan…”
As he spoke, he reached out his hand.
But as soon as he touched her arm, Lin Xinyuan reacted as if shocked.
“Don’t touch me!”
The girl cried out, like a hedgehog, refusing the youth’s approach. Her whole body shook like a leaf in the wind.
Hearing this, Qin Nanfeng’s hand froze completely.
The bitter smile on his face deepened, but he truly didn’t try to get closer again.
The atmosphere fell silent, broken only by the girl’s painful sobs.
Each one seemed to strike his heart. An indescribable pain slowly spread, but he seemed not to notice, only silently watching his girl.
No one knew how long it was before the sky began to brighten.
Only then did the girl lift her small face, which was already a tear-streaked mess.
“Feng Ge!”
Lin Xinyuan threw herself into the youth’s arms, her expression dazed and scattered. She clung to Qin Nanfeng helplessly:
“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…”
“I… can’t control myself. I don’t know why. Am I sick?”
As she spoke, tears fell unconsciously again, unstoppable.
Qin Nanfeng’s eyelids lowered slightly, his expression complicated. His voice was gentle, carrying comfort:
“It’s okay… everything will be fine.”
“But I…”
“Don’t be afraid. I’m here for everything, okay?”
Hearing this, Lin Xinyuan’s mind shook.
She realized that the inexplicable, painful emotion in her heart had all faded away, as if her loss of control had just been her imagination.
She lifted her small face, touched Qin Nanfeng’s chest, and found that she had already messed it up, a wet patch.
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, glanced at Qin Nanfeng sheepishly, then lowered her head in shame, not knowing what to say for a moment.
“Good girl…”
Qin Nanfeng stroked Lin Xinyuan’s little head, making her feel very comfortable.
Even though she had been comforted a lot, the fear in her heart didn’t diminish at all.
“Mhm…” she responded, her mind full of confusion and panic.
What was wrong with her?
Recently, as the dreams became more frequent, she had increasingly felt something off about herself.
Especially today… just now, she had really been on the verge of giving up.
And that dream was far too strange, as if it were the experiences of another version of herself in another world.
But deep down, she vaguely felt that the two people in the dream were definitely connected to her and Feng Ge.
Lin Xinyuan didn’t want to think about it, but once this thought arose, it slowly took root and grew, eventually becoming inescapable.
Thinking of the man’s final look at the woman in the dream, that trace of disgust tormented her like a nightmare, making her think of it from time to time.
No…
No… her Feng Ge wasn’t that kind of person.
He wouldn’t look at her like that.
They definitely weren’t.
But all the coincidences in the dream still made the foreboding feeling in Lin Xinyuan’s heart grow stronger.
Gradually, when she looked at Qin Nanfeng, a hint of resistance appeared in her eyes, though she wasn’t even aware of it herself.
She quickly lowered her head, hastily covering up her abnormality, not wanting the youth to worry.
Actually, she had gone to the hospital for a check-up.
But the conclusion they gave was that there was no major problem.
They only told her to rest well, that it might be because her mental state hadn’t been relieved recently.
Qin Nanfeng stared at the person in his arms, her fluffy little head lowered.
He was silent for a moment, but then he held her tightly against his chest.
Then he lowered his gaze, his expression unreadable, and pulled her back to the bed.
“Xiaoyuan, sleep.”
“Okay… you sleep too, Feng Ge…”
Lin Xinyuan murmured softly. In the end, love filled her heart, and that trace of resistance was temporarily suppressed.
She curled up in the youth’s arms, seeking security.
“Mhm.”