Shen Ruxue’s hand paused as she held the rice basin, warm water flowing from the kettle spout into the rice, stirring up fine ripples that carried a trace of warmth across her fingertips. Just as she turned to grab the peeler beside her, she looked up at Jiang Leyi. The girl had already placed the kettle back on the stove.
“That’s enough, this much is just right.”
Shen Ruxue’s voice was softer than before, her fingertips stirring the rice water as the white, cloudy liquid slowly swirled out.
“Is my daughter feeling that the water’s too cold, worrying about me?”
Jiang Leyi said nothing, not responding to her mother’s question, because she was too embarrassed to talk about such things. She simply took the peeler and walked to the bamboo basket, crouching down to pick up a potato, saying nothing more.
Shen Ruxue rinsed the rice while stealing glances at her daughter. The child she used to only see in photos was now standing right beside her, and even the way she gripped the peeler carried a seriousness. Her fingers were slender yet steady.
She suddenly remembered how Jiang Leyi had been as a small child. When she should have been at her noisiest, her daughter had been just as quiet, able to sit for an entire afternoon with a toy, unlike other children who were loud and rambunctious.
Shen Ruxue poured the rinsed rice into the rice cooker. When she pressed the switch, the rice cooker let out a soft
“click.”
She crouched down beside her daughter and gently took her hand along her fingers.
Jiang Leyi’s potato-peeling motion paused for an instant, then continued, her voice soft.
“What is it…”
“Nothing. I’ve finished with the rice. Let me handle the potatoes from here.”
“I can do it. This little thing is simple.”
Shen Ruxue’s touch made Jiang Leyi a little uncomfortable, but since she was peeling, she worried about hurting Shen Ruxue. Jiang Leyi took the opportunity to pull her hand free. It wasn’t that she disliked it. She just felt her mother had more important things to do.
“Don’t worry. Dad used to be very busy with work, and whenever Aunt cooked, I’d always help by her side. I’m much more capable than you think. Sometimes you don’t need to treat me so much like a child.”
“I’m already an adult… I can take care of myself… Cooking, laundry, cleaning, I can do it all alone… You don’t need to look after me so much… I’m not a baby who can’t do anything.”
Shen Ruxue’s heart tightened slightly. She knew she had been absent for far too long. But even if her daughter no longer needed someone to care for her wholeheartedly, she still wanted to make up for what she had missed in the past, to compensate as much as she could.
“I know. I know my daughter is truly capable… It’s just that I came too late.”
Shen Ruxue sighed. She walked to the cabinet for flour, and when her fingers touched the ceramic bowl, something suddenly came to mind.
“Is there anything you can’t eat nowadays? Tell me, and I won’t put it in later…”
“Actually, I can eat anything.”
Jiang Leyi placed the peeled potatoes into clean water to soak, fine ripples spreading across the surface.
“I’ve already passed the age of being picky. I’m not picky about anything now.”
Shen Ruxue nodded, saying nothing more. She took out the grater and fished the soaked potatoes from the water.
The moment she touched the potato’s skin, it felt ice-cold. She instinctively flinched, but saw that Jiang Leyi had already walked over, reached out, and taken the potato from her, placing it on the grater.
“Let me grate it.”
The girl’s voice had little inflection. Her fingers pressed the potato and slowly pushed downward.
The potato shreds fell fine and even into the ceramic basin. Occasionally a few stuck to the grater, and she would gently flick them off with her fingertip, her movements practiced.
Shen Ruxue stood beside her, watching, and suddenly felt a little dazed. She hadn’t felt anything when they were just talking, but now, watching her daughter display a side of herself she had never shown at school, she finally realized that everything her daughter had said was true.
So her daughter had already grown up. She could do these chores herself and care for others without even noticing.
Shen Ruxue looked at her daughter’s mature demeanor, a sour feeling in her heart, a strange thought arising. She wished her daughter could be a little more willful, not so understanding, not so mature, so she could fulfill her responsibility as a mother. How wonderful that would be.
But such a thought was too strange.
Shen Ruxue only thought about it in her heart. When it came time to fry the potato pancakes, she didn’t let her daughter intervene, telling her to wait in the living room.
After she finished frying the potato pancakes, she still had some time, so she deliberately set aside two pieces. Before breakfast, she wanted her daughter to taste her cooking first.
So she carried them over to her daughter, holding them to her lips with chopsticks, as if caring for a small baby.
Jiang Leyi stared at the potato pancake held to her lips, her eyelashes trembling. The warm yellow light of the living room fell on the pancake’s surface, where she could see the faintly crispy edges. Steam carrying the scent of potato drifted into her nose.
She froze for two seconds, didn’t immediately open her mouth, and instead instinctively shrank back her shoulders, as if unaccustomed to such intimate feeding.
“I can do it myself.”
She reached out to take the chopsticks, but her fingertips were gently dodged by Shen Ruxue.
“Just try it. It’s freshly fried, still hot.”
Shen Ruxue’s voice was very soft, the chopsticks extended forward again, a trace of unrefusable expectation in her eyes.
“Also, don’t take my chopsticks. I… I just want to feed you a bite. Is… that not allowed?”
Those words made Jiang Leyi pause. She looked at the tender light in her mother’s eyes, and something in her heart seemed to be gently struck, astringent, yet a little warm.
She didn’t refuse anymore. She lowered her head slightly and took a small bite of the potato pancake.
Jiang Leyi chewed, unable to stop the corners of her lips from curving up, her voice light as a feather.
“Delicious.”
And it carried a nostalgic flavor within, making her unable to resist thinking of a few things from her childhood. Though the memory was blurry, the feeling brought by that memory was truly wonderful.
Seeing her daughter’s happy reaction, Shen Ruxue immediately smiled. Watching her daughter obediently open her mouth, she suddenly felt her eyes grow warm.
What Shen Ruxue wanted was truly little. Facing her daughter, just feeding her a bite of freshly made potato pancake like this and seeing a hint of childishness in her smile was enough.
Jiang Leyi looked at how happy Shen Ruxue was, just from simply wanting to feed her a bite. Such a simple thing. Why did she show such happiness?
Or was it all because of her?
Jiang Leyi looked at Shen Ruxue, who was almost entirely devoted to her.
“Mom… sometimes you really don’t have to do this. You don’t have to treat me like a child and take care of me, and you don’t have to keep doting on me.”
What she meant directly was… you don’t have to think about making up for anything.
To me, you being able to stay at home now, stay by my side, spend time with me, with Dad, with Aunt, is already a kind of compensation.