Chapter 3: The Third Step to Becoming the Matchmaker: A God as Beautiful as a Celestial

Chang Fei had a nightmare, an extraordinarily bizarre nightmare.  

He dreamed that the past six months had been incredibly unlucky, especially when he made a wish upon a shooting star at home, only to be struck by it!  

The key was, after being hit, he didn’t die—he actually got a chance to become a god.  

He was certain this was a dream.  

How could there really be gods in this day and age? 

Haha… it was definitely fake, absolutely a nightmare.  

So now, he had to rely on himself to wake up!  

Where was his alarm clock? 

His phone?  

Forget it, he’d sleep in today.  

The exams were over, his job was ruined, and he was exhausted from all the chaos… let him sleep a little longer…  

“Child! Hold on! Don’t give up! Stay strong!”  

A voice with an echo kept repeating in his ear.  

Chang Fei listened for a while but decided to ignore it, sinking back into sleep.  

When he woke again, he couldn’t move a muscle!  

Strange… Why was he wrapped in bandages?  

Struggling to sit up, Chang Fei was stopped by a male doctor who was jotting something down.  

The doctor pressed his shoulders firmly and said, “Little girl, you were hit by a meteor that fell from the sky.  

We’ve already performed emergency treatment, but you still need to rest.  

By the way, the medical bills are quite high.  

Can you contact your family to cover the costs?”  

“Doctor…” Chang Fei looked up.  

The doctor responded, gazing at him with a kind expression: “If you need to borrow a phone, there’s one at the reception desk in the inpatient ward.”  

“No, what I mean is…” Chang Fei tried to wave his hand but failed, his eyes full of helplessness. “Why are you calling me ‘little girl’?”  

“Oh, my apologies, young lady.  

I just feel bad that a girl like you went to play in that dangerous haunted building all alone.  

But don’t worry, as long as you call your parents, we’ll do our best to help you get plastic surgery to look however you want!”  

“Hey, hey… Doctor, you’re completely missing the point! I’m a boy!” Chang Fei finally shouted, only to start coughing violently.  

The doctor’s expression changed dramatically: “You’re a boy?! Young lady, don’t joke around.  

I’m your attending physician, and when I treated your wounds, I didn’t see any sign that you were… huh?  

Wait, is your chest flat because of developmental issues?”  

The doctor seemed to realize something, looking at Chang Fei’s abdomen with pity and patting his head: “Poor thing… to face such bad luck at such a young age… to have it smashed away by a meteor… that’s just tragic…”  

Chang Fei was alarmed.  

The doctor’s expression and words made him want to check his body immediately.  

He could stay optimistic, but he absolutely couldn’t accept that his precious “fourteen-year companion” was just gone!  

Seeing Chang Fei’s bandaged, mummy-like hands trying to reach down, the doctor’s pity deepened.  

He hesitated and sighed, “If… if it’s hard to tell your parents what happened to your body, give me their number, and I’ll talk to them for you.”  

“I don’t have parents. I’m an orphan,” Chang Fei replied flatly, pursing his lips.  

He wasn’t sure if his parents were even alive, but having grown up on his own, he wouldn’t think of looking for them even in this situation.  

The doctor’s pitying look shifted to something strange, eyeing Chang Fei as if he were a commodity.  

Two days later, Chang Fei figured out what the doctor was up to—he wanted to buy his organs!  

Don’t ask how he knew; he just did.  

The doctor’s voice somehow reached his ears clearly.  

But it wasn’t just the doctor’s voice—every sound in the hospital flooded his ears.  

Oddly, why was everything he heard about love and romance?  

After two days in the hospital, he was covered in goosebumps!  

Not from fear, but from all the sappy talk of love that made him feel like a single dog being tortured.  

Why was the whole world full of love, while he had none?  

Even the doctor’s reason for wanting his organs was to save his wife.  

Poor Chang Fei—things had been rough lately, and now even his manhood was supposedly “smashed away.”  

He really wanted to flip the middle finger at the heavens again.  

Still, he decided to stay optimistic and live on, maybe pulling a prank or two to get back at those jerks… ahem… just a little mischief.  

On the third night, after a nurse gave him an injection, Chang Fei decided to escape.  

It took him hours to remove his bandages, and he nervously checked his body.  

Even if he was scared, he had to face reality eventually, right?  

But… huh… while his “little Chang Fei” wasn’t exactly a giant, it was still there, alive and well!  

Why did they think it was “smashed away”?  

And all that talk about needing plastic surgery… his hands and feet were perfectly fine!  

He was completely unharmed!  

That doctor had totally played him!  

And to think he’d considered giving the doctor money to save his wife!  

Furious, Chang Fei decided to hack the doctor’s bank account, but a voice interrupted: “Hey, it’s been three days, and your score is still zero?  

You’ll never become the most powerful god like this!”  

“Huh?” Chang Fei perked up his ears, instinctively clenching his fists.  

What did he just hear?  

His head swiveled warily, ready to bolt, when the voice spoke again: “Hey! Hey! Speak, new god!  

Why’s your progress so bad? It’s the third day! Are you even listening?”  

“Who’s there?!” Chang Fei shouted, unable to take it anymore.  

“Huh? You don’t know your divine tablet can transmit sound? Tsk… training new gods is such a hassle!” the voice grumbled discontentedly.  

Before Chang Fei could process what was happening, he felt a sharp pain in his forehead, and something flew out of it!  

“What the hell?!” he yelped reflexively.  

“Kid! I’m not a ghost, I’m a god!  

No, actually, I retired the day I met you, so you should call me Retired God!”  

In front of Chang Fei, a transparent stone glowed softly, and a white-haired woman in a red dress, barefoot with bare shoulders, sat cross-legged… in mid-air?!  

“Oh, wow?! A beauty!” Chang Fei opened his mouth, his intended curses turning into a compliment.  

She didn’t give him a chance to finish his thoughts, waving her hand dismissively and shouting, “What’s with the yelling? Never seen a Matchmaker God as beautiful as a celestial like me?”  

“Matchmaker God?!” Chang Fei rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  

He vaguely remembered… he could choose what kind of god to become… so that wasn’t a dream?!  

But why the Matchmaker God?  

Is that even powerful?! It’s not powerful at all!  

But on the other hand… beautiful as a celestial?  

This red-clad woman was indeed stunning, with an otherworldly aura—ink-black brows, cherry lips, almond eyes, and a perky nose… okay, fine, her figure was unlike any local woman’s.  

She wore a classical long dress, red with a sheer outer layer and an inner cotton layer, embroidered with a large tree and a full moon.  

But why did her face have such a roguish expression?  

It completely ruined her vibe!  

And since she was already a god, why describe herself as “beautiful as a celestial”?  

Seeing Chang Fei’s almost contorted expression, the Matchmaker God straightened up.  

She stood, spun around, and her female form transformed into a white-haired, white-bearded old man in a moon-white robe with a red gauze shirt, smirking roguishly: “Kid, I knew finding a human to take my place would be a hassle.  

I took that female form earlier because I was interacting with you.”  

“What does that mean?”  

The old man’s look fit Chang Fei’s image of a Matchmaker God—handsome, sharp, and dashing, just with a bit more masculine edge.  

His twisted expression relaxed, but he couldn’t hide his disappointment.  

A super beauty… turned out to be a shapeshifter?  

The Matchmaker God, not noticing his question, was busy choosing words, white brows furrowed: “Mean?  

What a hassle… why do I have to explain?  

Basically, when you’re touched by a female, feminine, or motherly being, you become a woman to match.  

When touched by someone of the opposite gender, you become a man.  

In short, if their orientation is women, you become a man, and vice versa.”  

“What kind of weird ability is that?!” 

Chang Fei blurted out.  

The Matchmaker God waved it off casually: “No big deal.  

If you wear gloves when touching people, this ability won’t trigger.  

As long as it’s not skin contact, you won’t transform. Relax!”  

“No, no, that’s not right! What about when I want to get married and have kids?  

How am I supposed to have descendants?” 

Chang Fei was sweating, worried about his future life plans.  

The Matchmaker God stared at him incredulously: “Kid, are you joking?  

You’re a god now—why bother with human reproduction?  

Even as a minor god, you’ll live a long time.  

Are you planning to watch your kids grow old, get sick, and die, then play matchmaker for them?”  

Clearly, the Matchmaker God couldn’t grasp the mindset of a former human turned minor god—this was on a whole different level.  

Chang Fei looked like he’d turned into an idiot: “But why such a weird ability?  

Don’t gods have their own genders?”  

“Because we’re Matchmaker Gods!  

We tie red strings for others.  

What if the person you’re supposed to pair up falls for you?  

Of course, you transform to match their orientation so it doesn’t mess things up.  

This way, you stay close without your target falling for you,” the Matchmaker God said matter-of-factly.  

“Why does it have to be like this?  

Can’t I just be a normal Matchmaker God?”  

Chang Fei felt his high IQ and EQ were pushing him toward giving up and jumping off a building.  

Wait, as a god, would jumping even kill him?  

While Chang Fei was lost in bizarre thoughts, the Matchmaker God was already answering his earlier question seriously: “Gods originally don’t have genders.  

We weren’t like this at first.  

It’s all because of that idiot Nüwa and that guy Yahweh—they somehow got the same idea…”  

“Sneaking around behind our backs, they went to the mortal world to make little clay people!  

And they insisted on creating different genders—what a hassle!  

Since when did Eros and I have to stress over whether these latecomers could reproduce?”  

***

Shang Zhi’s note:  

This is the revised Chapter 3 for the Dragon Boat Festival…  

The story continues to develop the character and plot, with the Matchmaker God’s role and quirks coming into focus.  

Hope readers enjoy the evolving narrative!