Night.
The falling rain covered the huge manor of the Clement family, and quickly cleared up at dawn, just like an innocent girl who had cut her nails and hurriedly got into bed with a handkerchief in hand, but only sat quietly at the head of the bed and wiped everything in just ten minutes, leaving only a muddy ground and a tree full of pear blossoms wet with rain.
“Lin Nuo, if someone asked you what you would do if the Archsinner of the Evil God killed your father, could you give a satisfactory answer?”
In the garden, a middle-aged man with a mix of golden and brown hair, bearing a striking three-point resemblance to Lin Nuo Clemence, asked solemnly.
“Of course, Father. I would tell everyone that the Archsinner’s magic must be formidable, and his followers numerous. Whether it’s magic or swordsmanship, given my abilities, avenging my father’s death would be nearly impossible.”
Lin Nuo said, “If possible, I would try every means to abduct his beloved wife and vent my hatred repeatedly before my father’s tomb, to ease the pain in my heart.”
“Hahaha, you’re truly my good son! A fine answer, much better than last time’s ‘Find someone to seduce the Archsinner and then give him a harsh lesson, making him suffer from heartbreak forever.’ That was too pathetic. I like this one, hahaha… cough cough…”
Lin Nuo put down a chess piece, poured a cup of warm water, and handed it to the energetic man sitting across from him.
This was Lin Nuo’s father, the Duke of Clemence, Kuxiu Clemence—the Clemence Family, through the efforts of both grandfather and father, had risen from obscurity to overwhelming power.
Even if the other dukes in the Capital were dissatisfied with his father, they feared the Clemence Family Knights who guarded the entire border of the Salidor Divine Empire.
“You see, when you’re playing chess with the child, try to say less. Our son has always been so obedient and sensible; at this rate, you’ll corrupt him,” chided a graceful and still beautiful woman as she stroked the man’s back.
Though her words carried some reproach, her expression was full of concern at her husband’s coughing.
She was Lin Nuo’s mother, Pulley Kostes, daughter of a marquis in the Capital.
“No, Lin Nuo has always been more mature and intelligent than other children. He will understand what kind of life we hope he lives.”
“I understand, Father and Mother. I already see your good intentions, and I’m actually grateful for these peaceful days.”
Laughter rang out again in the garden.
It was only after transmigrating that Lin Nuo realized being born a noble—especially into a family as deeply rooted and fiercely resented as the Clemence Family—was no blessing.
To openly display exceptional intelligence and talent like his father had been since childhood was anything but good.
“Since your grandfather’s generation, the Clemence Family has been suppressing monsters attempting to invade the Divine Empire for decades. If after me another magically gifted child appears, they’ll surely suffer as I did—always hiding a dagger behind their pillow, guarding against unknown assassins, yet still getting wounded in the dark.”
“My dear son, before you were born, I hoped you’d be a complete idiot. That way, you wouldn’t have to live in constant fear like I did.”
That was why, even when his father went to the main battlefield to fight monsters, he never forgot to instruct the Priesthood, who had close ties with the Clemence Family, to spread rumors about Lin Nuo:
“Shocking! The only son of the Duke of Clemence was caught in public doing this to the voluptuous goddess statue…”
“Silent men and tearful women—what exactly happened to the Clemence Family…”
“Late-night screams heard from the brothel—Master Lin Nuo actually…”
It was these deliberately planted rumors that made even the maids in the estate believe that offending Lin Nuo would mean being locked in the black room, ruthlessly trapped and assaulted by two strong men.
Indeed, transmigrating into the story and just reading the book from afar were very different experiences!
Lin Nuo thought that maybe he wasn’t such a useless character in the original story, but what wasn’t mentioned was that his shrewd father had solidified the impression of him as a useless son through years of rumor-mongering.
“All right, all right. The child is still young; it’s your job as a father to protect him. Saying too much will only burden him.”
Pulley gently stroked Lin Nuo’s hand and shot a reproachful glance at her husband.
Lin Nuo’s heart skipped a beat.
He had to admit, ever since transmigrating into this other world in the book, he had repeatedly felt a warmth and happiness he had never known before.
This only strengthened Lin Nuo’s resolve to seriously embrace the ultimate goal of lying flat and being a useless noble!
***
So soft.
Too soft!
Wuwu, how could there be such a soft bed!
Back in his room, Lin Nuo slipped off his shoes, stepping on one heel with the other, and collapsed onto the bed, letting his body sink into the maid’s newly replaced soft bedding.
Ever since eight years ago, when he was following the Holy Paladin Guard on an adventure and, due to carelessness, failed to dodge a combo of magic attacks and got injured, Lin Nuo had to sleep for long hours every day.
Only recently had he fully recovered.
During his convalescence, he achieved the ultimate life goal: eat, then sleep; sleep, then eat.
After praying with the elegant and pure Xī, he could even order her to peel grapes for him, watching her reluctant face as she used her delicate fingers to carefully feed him.
If he accidentally brushed his lips against her fingers during feeding, he would be treated to Xī’s expression of annoyance, as if she had been dirtied, glaring at him in dismay.
If this went on…
It would be too blissful!
Lin Nuo had already figured out that only two plotlines in the original story involved him.
They weren’t that important to the main story, but the dangerous yandere elements had been avoided by Lin Nuo himself.
Now he just needed to properly handle the plot related to Princess Amidina, and once a minor villain officially exited the stage, he could truly live a life of eating and sleeping, occasionally forcing the elegant and pure Xī to read erotic novels aloud to him.
“But even if I haven’t disturbed the original story for these eighteen years, this time, the way I exit can’t be like in the original book,”
“Getting slapped in the face after provoking Feng Aotian is no way to go. Ending up like in the book—losing my noble status, holding a moldy half-eaten fried dough stick, and selling hooks to make a living—ugh… that’s just too miserable.”
“But I also can’t reenact a broken engagement with the princess. Besides, the engagement arranged by my grandfather is impossible to break off. And in the original story, Feng Aotian travels all over with Princess Amidina, relying on the protagonist’s aura and the double blessings of a beauty to overcome all hardships and end any potential wars.”
“Ensuring Feng Aotian adventures alongside Princess Amidina exactly as in the original will guarantee, as written, that the Evil God can never invade the Divine Empire until the novel’s end.”
“That way, once I lie flat, a lifetime of happiness and ease is guaranteed!”
Lin Nuo carefully calculated: “If Feng Aotian doesn’t bring Princess Amidina on adventures and something goes wrong fighting the Evil God, causing border wars, then the Clemence Family’s good days—and mine—are over.”
“Fatty Bird, do you think my plan makes sense?”
“Chirp chirp?”
Fatty Bird tapped him with a claw, signaling it didn’t understand his rambling, then pulled the bowl closer and pecked at it, indicating it was hungry.
“So—”
“In a yuri romance novel, I, a blonde minor villain, should avoid contact with a remarkable woman like Feng Aotian and find a way to help her smoothly pair up with Princess Amidina like in the original.”
“For me, protecting the life I have and lying flat completely means winning! Though I have no clue how yet—”
Lin Nuo slapped the table loudly, startling Fatty Bird into a slight tremble:
“No one can stop me from winning by lying flat!”
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