Chapter 29: Not a Pedophile, Just an Early Adopter

Alex remembered.

The old days, the times when he went on adventures with the Hero.

“Hero, you’re out here again.”

“Oh, Alex. Take a seat.”

“Sure.”

Alexander recalled the shocking memory of the day he learned the truth about the Hero.

“I’ve been curious for a while, why do you always sit out here in the plaza when you’ve got free time? There’s not much to see.”

“Heh, do you really think that?”

“Hm?”

“Look over there. Do you see that?”

“All I see are kids…”

It was a lazy weekend afternoon, and the plaza was filled with happy children running and playing.

“That’s exactly it.”

“That’s what? Wait a second…”

“Heh heh, Alex, what do you think I’m about to say?”

“No way, you’re not serious, are you?”

“I am.”

“…You’re saying the misunderstanding is true?”

“No, no. What I’m saying is, I always have this little fantasy when I see them. What do you think it is?”

“…What?”

“I want to play with them. I want to grab those squishy cheeks and stretch them. I want to—”

“STOP!!!”

Alex recalled the time in the plaza when the Hero, with a proud expression, casually outed themselves with such remarks.

“Alex, I have a problem.”

“What is it?”

“Why is our party like this?”

“…Hero—no, Sua, what’s wrong? Did you fight with Siu again? Or did someone…”

“Why is it that our party is full of nothing but men?!”

“Ah, well, about that…”

“Alex, think about it. Do you know how exhausting it is to travel every day with an idiot warrior, a tank who’s like a sea anemone, and a stuck-up mage?”

“Sea anemone? And by the way, Hero, you’re the one who handpicked this party. Didn’t you say if you went with your personal preferences, you’d end up… uh, dying of overexcitement before defeating the Demon King?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did. But there’s just not enough fluff power!”

“Could you please stop talking nonsense for once?”

“Ugh, whatever, I don’t care! I just want to see something fluffy! I need to heal too!”

Alex couldn’t help but recall those moments, dealing with the Hero’s endless whining during her so-called “counseling sessions.”

“Hero, sometimes I question whether you’re even qualified to be one.”

“Yeah, too bad, but no—”

“Stop, stop! Don’t even finish that sentence!”

Her tendency to spout off-the-wall comments never failed to baffle him.

“Fluff fluff fluff fluff!”

“…What now?”

“Alex, what are those fluffy creatures over there?!”

“…You’ve got to be kidding me. Did you pick up another weird term from somewhere again—”

“My body is heating up just looking at them!!!”

“Stop it!!”

Sometimes, she said things so absurd, Alex felt like he was losing his mind.

“Ugh, I’m dying from a lack of fluff power. At this rate, we’re all doomed…”

“Then go play with them or something! Stop watching them from a distance every day and just join in!”

“I can’t.”

“And why not? What’s stopping you this time?”

“If I go, it’ll be a crime. I might not be able to control my desires. But I’m the Hero—I must restrain myself.”

“Sure thing, next pedo.”

“Could you call me an early adopter instead?”

Even with all her oddities, Alex found himself reminiscing about those bizarre yet somehow endearing memories of the peculiar Hero who always managed to toe the line.

“Alex.”

“What?”

“Why aren’t there any kids at places of entertainment?”

“The bigger question is why there would be kids at such places… Wait a second, when did you even go to one?!”

“I went to find a baby that matches my tastes.”

“Sigh… You’re a girl too, you know. Can’t you be more careful? What if something happens to you?!”

“So what? I’m the Hero. In this world, aside from the Demon King, no one is stronger than me. Relax.”

“You know that’s a flag, right?”

“I don’t care. I won’t stop until I find my destined partner.”

“Sure, whatever you say.”

Remembering those moments, when the Hero acted like a child by the water’s edge, Alex let out a deep sigh and finished his story.

“Good grief.”

“To think the Hero was like that…”

Goosebumps ran down my arms.

“Is that all true?”

“Yeah, it’s true.”

“…Alex, just asking to be sure, but is this why you left the Hero’s party…?”

“Oh, that? She tried to cast a gender-swapping spell on me. Said if the party wasn’t full of busty beauties, she’d just make it that way.”

“What.”

Hearing Alex’s explanation, a flood of concerns began welling up in my mind.

The idea of such an odd Hero, who apparently had a questionable fixation on children, sending a message to meet me filled me with unease.

At the same time, I couldn’t help but feel curious.

Why would the Hero, someone who had never even seen my face or met me, want to meet me?

Confusion and doubt swirled in my head, and no matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t see this leading to anything good.

“Um, Ellie… there’s no way I can refuse this meeting, is there?”

“…Yeah, probably. The Hero’s reputation is through the roof right now. If you refuse this offer…”

“Still, what if I say I’m too busy?!”

“Eve, that person is the type who would come all the way to the orphanage if you said no. It’s better to just give in quietly.”

“…So, in the end, I have to go meet her, huh?”
“Exactly.”

“Ugh, this is all your fault, mister. You’re the one who made me anxious with your weird stories!”

“It was necessary. I couldn’t bear the thought of our Eve getting dragged off by some scoundrel.”

“But I’m getting dragged off anyway, aren’t I?”

I glared at him with a sulky face.

In response, Alex poked my cheek with his large finger.

A soft pfftt sound escaped as air slowly deflated from my puffed-up cheek.

I hadn’t even realized I’d puffed it out.

“Don’t worry. The Hero’s words and actions might be a little… off, but she’s never done anything truly bad. She’s never forced herself on anyone who said no.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. But this is the first time she’s specifically singled someone out like this…”

Alex trailed off, avoiding my gaze.

“So, there’s only one thing to do—this old man will have to accompany you!”

“Wait, so that was your goal all along!”

“Heh heh, as expected, Harp is sharp. But, everything I said is true—I didn’t lie about any of it.”

Alex nodded vigorously, his eyes sparkling like he’d just come up with the best idea ever.

“…I’m really not thrilled about this, but if I want to protect the teacher, having this bald guy around might not be so bad…”

“Eve, I’m fine.”

“I’m not fine, though…”

Harp still didn’t seem to like Alex.

Was she still wary of him?

I thought they’d moved past the awkwardness, but maybe they just hadn’t spent enough time together to really get along.

Still, there wasn’t much choice in the matter.

It would be far too dangerous for just the two of us kids to travel alone.

Neither Harp nor I had ever been outside the village, so we needed someone like Alex, who knew the area.

If we wandered off and got lost, it’d be a disaster.

We’d go from being kids with a crumbling orphanage to just plain homeless kids with nowhere to go.

“Hehe, a journey with the squishy duo…” Alex grinned.

“Honestly, I think I’d feel safer with the bald guy than the Hero, teacher.”

“…You might be right.”

“What?! How could you say that!”

Thinking it over, though, maybe it would actually be better if it were just the two of us?

“Oh, Ellie, could you come with us instead?”

“Ugh, sweet little Eve… I really, really want to say yes, but I can’t. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh…”

“Hehe, even with that sad face, it can’t be helped. There’s been a lot of talk about the recent Inquisitor incident. Until the Holy Nation sends their response, I can’t leave the village.”

“I see… That’s a shame.”

It really was disappointing.

Why did I have to say I’d handle it?! Now I have to let that bald guy take care of my precious little ones!

“Guess I have no choice but to let him go with you!”

“If you’re upset, maybe you should take up woodworking.”

“…Ugh, you!”

Ellie stomped her feet in frustration, clearly upset that she couldn’t join us on the journey. Poor Ellie.

“Anyway, you two don’t need to worry too much. This bald guy here will protect you with his life. Just think of it as a sightseeing trip and try to relax.”

“…Okay.”

“Hmph, if you so much as lay a finger on the teacher, I won’t let you get away with it.”
“Like this?”

“W-w-what?! Baldy, are you serious?! How dare you touch the teacher’s soft earlobe like that?!”

“Harp, it’s fine. Don’t overreact.”

“But, teacher!”

For some reason, Harp was fuming.

She stormed over, smacked Alex’s hand away from my earlobe, and glared at him.

“Whoops.”

“H-Harp…?”

Then, she leaned in close to me and began whispering in my ear.

“Teacher, you need to take better care of your body.”

“Harp, it’s okay. Alex isn’t a bad person.”

“Even so, I’m worried about you.”

“Heh, look at our Harp. You’ve grown up so much, even worrying about the teacher now.”

“…”

“Good girl, good girl.”

Pat, pat.

Harp was taller than I realized, so I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach her head.

The soft, fluffy sensation was so fascinating—just like a real cat.

Every stroke of my hand brushed against the furred ears atop her head, leaving a delightful sensation with each movement.

“Hehe…”

“Teacher.”

“Hmm?”

I was smiling absentmindedly, enjoying the feel of her fur, when Harp leaned in close to my ear once more.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, almost inaudible.

“…If you keep doing that, I might just devour you.”

“Huh?!”

Harp’s eyes glowed a fiery red as she said it, sending chills down my spine.