Chapter 28: Miss Eve: Candidate for adoption, an adoption candidate.

Ellie took charge of cleaning up after Leon.

The two had come here to fix the bathhouse, but since woodworking was Alex’s specialty, Ellie didn’t have much else to do at the orphanage.

“Take care, squishies! Oh, and make sure to stop by the village at least once a day so I can see your faces.”

“Yes, we will!”

“Got it!”

“My, you’re all such sweet kids. Unlike someone I know.”

“Ellie. Sorry to say, but we can hear you…”

“Oh dear, sorry to say, but I meant for you to hear that.”

It seemed Ellie was reluctant to part ways with the two of us, as she hesitated to open the door.

“See you next time, Ellie.”

“Until next time.”

“…”

Wanting to help Ellie, who couldn’t seem to bring herself to leave, we both hugged her tightly at the same time.

“Wh-what on earth! Such kind children actually exist?”

“Jealous, Ellie? I’ve only gotten one hug like this before.”

“Wait for me, kids! This big sis will go take care of all the bad villains and come right back!””Are you ignoring me?!”

“Yes. See you again.”

“Okay!”

The moment we hugged Ellie, her face turned beet red, and suddenly, she bolted out the door.

She ran at full speed, carrying Leon in one hand as she disappeared into the distance.

For some reason, the hug seemed to have given her an energy boost. Well, good for her.

“Hey, kids.”

“Yes?”

“What?”

“…Harp, you’re back to being informal again, huh? Ahem, well, I think it’s about time this old man got a hug too.”

“If you fix the bathhouse for us.”

“You’ll need to give me a hug before I can fix the bathhouse.”

Alex grinned and spread his arms wide, as if saying, ‘Come on, jump right in!’
I stared at him and shook my head.

“Come on, I’m not a kid. What’s that supposed to be?”

“You are a kid.”

“Ugh, are you serious? Fine, fix the bathhouse first, and then I’ll hug you.”

“Nope, hug me first.”

“Urgh, adults are so hard to deal with…”

“Hehe, see? I knew you’d come around.”

I gave in.

Totally lost.

Defeated by the super-childish antics of this grown man, I had no choice but to dash forward and throw myself into his arms.

“Yep, Eve’s so squishy! Ah, Harp, want to come too? Come here, let’s give my fluffy buddy a good squeeze.”

“…Pervert.”

“Pervert? Why? This old man hasn’t said anything weird at all!”

“Perverted bald man, just let go of the teacher already. You got your hug; that’s enough!”

“Nope, Eve’s mine now.”

“What?! W-wait, what?!”

As Alex bantered with Harp, he suddenly stuck his tongue out at her and, without warning, lifted me up and started flying me around like an airplane.

“Wha-what are you doing?! Let me go!”

“Too late, you’re in Slime Airlines now!”

“You… this rotten, bald-headed jerk?!”

“Whoooa!”

It was chaos.

I was soaring through the air, Harp was jumping up and down trying to save me, and Alex was grinning from ear to ear, looking ridiculously pleased with himself.

“Ugh, too fast… I’m dizzy…!”

“Give the teacher back to me!”

“Not a chance, little goblin.”

“Y-you…!”

“Too bad, little lizardman.”

Excuse me, mister.

I think it’s about time you put me down.

I’m seriously dizzy here! Everything’s spinning before my eyes, you know?!

“Ha-ha! Isn’t this fun, Eve?!”

“Ahhh… stop…!”

Alex’s antics didn’t last much longer.

Harp, furious beyond reason, shot off a spell that brought him to a halt.

Now, our childish Alex was sitting on his knees, sporting a giant lump on his head, raising his hands as part of his punishment.

“Don’t you dare lower your hands.”

“I’m sorry…”

Honestly, when I first met Alex, he wasn’t like this.

How had he turned into such a childish, over-the-top village fool? It was a real mystery.

“Hey, mister.”

“Yeah?”

Curiosity always gets the better of me, so I decided to ask him directly.

“Are you an idiot?”

“Wh-what?! An idiot?!”

“Yeah. I mean, what other explanation is there for someone who keeps saying such ridiculously childish things?”

“Erm, well, I don’t have a good response to that.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, who cares… To be honest, I just wanted to get closer to you guys.”

“You want to get closer to us?”

“Yep.”

What?

Alex’s cryptic response only left me with more questions.

He was acting like a fool just to get closer to us?

That made absolutely no sense to me.

“You’re the only kids in this village, you know. Everyone else is just a bunch of old folks. I figured it’d be nice if you had someone to talk to openly.”

“Okay…”

“And honestly, where else are you going to find someone as amazing as me? I had no choice but to step up and fill that role myself—”

“…Keep going.”

“H-Harp?! It’s a joke, a joke! Put away that murderous aura!”

“Harp’s so harsh…”

Summarizing Alex’s lengthy explanation, it boiled down to this.

He worried we’d have trouble fitting into the village and might end up feeling left out.

So, he tried to lighten the mood with exaggerated reactions and silly jokes to help us relax.

That said, he clarified that what we’d seen so far wasn’t all an act.

His laid-back, carefree demeanor was his true personality; he’d just sprinkled in a little extra for flair.

…Wait a second.

So what he’s really saying is that his childish, elementary-school-kid personality is his real personality?

Gotcha.

This guy was just spinning his words around in circles.

All that talking sounded fancy, but in the end, it was just the same thing over and over!

“Hey, mister.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to get scolded for real?”

“Ah, you figured me out—uh, uh! I’m sorry! I promise I’ll behave from now on, so please just spare me!”

“It’s already too late!”

Bonk!

I stamped Alex’s forehead with a fool seal.

It was a wooden stamp Harp made herself, with the word “Fool” engraved on it.

The idea was mine.

Yay for me!

“…This feels… strange.”

“From now on, you’re officially certified as the village’s fool.”

“That’s too harsh.”

“The only one being too harsh is you, mister. Stop provoking Harp already. She’s sulking, you know.”

“Hmm…”

“…I’m sorry, Harp. I was wrong.”

“Apologize to the teacher too. She was spinning around in the air like crazy because of you.”

“Eve, I’m really sorry.”

Alex bowed his head deeply.

Unlike his usual playful attitude, there was genuine sincerity in his gesture.

“Well, as long as you understand.”

“Can I get up now?”

“Yes.”

“Great! Thank you so much for forgiving me, Eve. And thank you, too, our adorable little kitty, Harp!”

“Don’t mess with the teacher again.”

“Got it!”

It felt like we just had a long, utterly pointless conversation, but…

Well, time passed quickly, so maybe this wasn’t so bad once in a while?

“So, about that ‘little extra MSG’ you mentioned—what exactly does that mean?”

“Oh, that? Dad jokes.”

“…What?”

“Isn’t it fun? I even studied hard for them, you know!”

“It’s better if you don’t.”

“Come on, just listen to one. Ahem, why can’t I adopt Eve?”

“…Because I’m the head of the orphanage?”

“Wrong! The answer is… because Eve isn’t an ‘Eve-yang’ candidate!”

“Huh? Didn’t get it? Eve-yang (Miss Eve)… if you say it quickly, it sounds like ip-yang! Adoption candidate—urk!”

“Just die.”

“H-Harp?! Calm down!”

Seriously, this man never learns when to stop.

Knock, knock.

“Who could it be at this hour?”

Leaving Alex sprawled on the floor after being thoroughly smacked by Harp, I cracked the front door open.

Standing there was a familiar, slender figure—a kind and friendly merchant with pink hair fluttering in the wind.

It was Ellie!

“Ellie? I was planning to visit you first thing tomorrow. What brings you here?”

Why would Ellie come to the orphanage at this time of night?

Did she miss us so much she just couldn’t wait?

“Oh, Eve! I came to deliver some news. It’s urgent—super urgent!”

“Urgent news?”

“…The Hero wants to meet you, Eve!”

“W-what did you just say?!”

“What?!”

“Stop shoving your face so close to me!”

“Is that true?!”

“Pack your bags; you’re heading to the capital tomorrow morning… Kyaah! Alex, why are you suddenly acting like that?!”

Alex, who had been lying motionless, suddenly bolted upright, looking flustered.

Unlike my simple surprise at the unexpected meeting request, Alex seemed overwhelmed with unease, his eyes twitching nervously.

“Meeting the Hero is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, isn’t it? Especially someone from another world like you.”

“…Opportunity? Do you know something, Alex?”

“Know something? Of course I do. That Hero… Her name is Han Sua. She’s from another world, and…”

Alex trailed off, his expression turning grim.

The words that followed were enough to send everyone present into shock and dread.