“Hey, hey, stop crying.”
“I’ve already apologized, isn’t that enough?”
“Can you please stop crying, Dan’er Miss—oh no, Ancestor Dan’er?”
Limuqun stood frozen, helplessly watching Luo Dan’er, who had become nothing but tears.
Making funny faces, telling jokes, playing the fool.
He tried every method he could think of to comfort a child, yet even in his past life as a devoted simp, he had never been this desperate.
But Luo Dan’er in front of him just kept crying without pause.
And Limuqun’s greatest fear was women’s tears.
Could this torture please stop already!
After all his efforts failed, Limuqun panted, standing aside and muttered softly, “Cry, cry all you want. I’ll be happy if your eyes get all swollen. Don’t think you can manipulate me with just one or two tears.”
Saying that, he steeled himself and turned to leave.
Behind him, Luo Dan’er heard his words and tried hard to hold back her tears, but just as Limuqun walked away, as if recalling something, she burst out crying even louder.
“Cry, cry, cry! If you die from crying, it’s not my fault!”
Limuqun covered his ears, acting completely detached, and strode forward with the air of someone cutting ties with everyone.
Yet after wandering in a circle, he still ended up back in front of Luo Dan’er.
“Oh, my dear ancestress, Master is still waiting to see me. Can we stop for now? Save it up and have a big cry next time.”
He pleaded, but Luo Dan’er seemed to trigger some switch upon hearing this; her sobbing only intensified.
Huge tears rolled down her cheeks and even gathered into a little stream beneath her.
Women—so terrifying.
Limuqun sighed in resignation and sat beside her, taking out some paper from his storage ring to hand over for her tears.
But despite her eyes being swollen from crying, the little female demon precisely extended her hand to swat the paper right onto the ground.
“Hey, hey, that’s too much!” he pretended to be angry, shouting, “Fine, cry! Keep it up! You’ll make Master wait too long at the Daoist Temple, get punished, cause Congealed Fat Peak to descend into chaos, and get me—the Founding Disciple—expelled from the sect. Then I might as well risk my life playing with you!”
But Luo Dan’er remained unmoved.
“Sigh, I really give up on you.” Limuqun gave a thumbs-up to the crying Luo Dan’er, flopped down beside her, and said with no energy, “Today, I’m going all out. Let’s see how long you can cry.”
“Get lost, you scoundrel.” Luo Dan’er cursed with a hoarse, muffled voice between her tears.
Normally, Limuqun would have fired back with sharp words, but at this moment, he was at a loss for words.
Defeating a little girl who was already a sobbing mess just didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment.
Jiang Shimei was the same—Luo Dan’er too—sharp-tongued when it mattered, but when push came to shove, they used this sneaky trick.
Ah, Limuqun, you’re just too soft-hearted.
Luo Dan’er kept crying loudly beside him. Heaven only knew how long she had been sobbing; even for a cultivator, her throat couldn’t withstand such strain.
Her voice grew increasingly hoarse, at one point giving Limuqun the unsettling impression of nails scraping against glass.
So unpleasant. Weren’t Fairy cries supposed to be like Dujuan Weeping Blood or Owl’s Heart, Oriole’s Tongue?
He wanted to interrupt but feared it would only make her cry harder.
After some thought, memories from his previous life surfaced: when he was mischievous and clumsy, his Mother would play an episode of an animated show for him.
Right, no cartoons now—but maybe I can tell her some stories instead.
Had he forgotten the tens of thousands of web novels and comics he had read back in college?
With Limuqun’s extensive knowledge, how could he fail to please this little demon?
“Hmph hmph.” Limuqun suddenly smiled devilishly, not caring whether Luo Dan’er was listening, and started:
“Luo Dan’er, have you ever heard the story of The Wandering Swordsman?”
Luo Dan’er seemed not to hear, still crying nonstop, but Limuqun didn’t care and continued:
“In Yuanhe Year Two, on an island nation, the Huashan Family was ruthlessly massacred…”
As he narrated, he clearly got into the mood, gesturing vividly.
“Now, that Yujiro was truly despicable. He used brute force against the hundred-year-old Guo Haihuang but applied cunning techniques against the primitive Pick. Truly the most shameless man alive! Yet everyone present was shocked—this was the first time Pick was bested.”
After narrating for a while, Limuqun felt his mouth dry and stopped to take a breath.
He glanced at Luo Dan’er but saw her still sobbing without any change.
Not right. A story this exciting shouldn’t fail to spark interest.
Back when he was a kid, even watching a single episode of Diga made him overjoyed.
Well, maybe this isn’t her taste. Time to change stories.
He cleared his throat and said:
“Luo Dan’er, let’s try another tale. This one takes place forty thousand years later, when the Human Race declined and the universe plunged into darkness and chaos…”
“In the end, The Emperor sat upon the Golden Throne, vowing to protect humanity for countless millennia.”
He recited the story with a sorrowful expression, fully immersed in the sadness. Turning his head, Luo Dan’er still cried.
Huh?
Not interested even in this? I’d even travel back just to see the ending.
Fine, I’ll see what kind of story can catch your interest.
Limuqun mustered all his strength and said:
“Luo Dan’er, have you heard of the love and hate between two men named Xia Ya and Amuro?”
“Luo Dan’er, look closely—this woman demanding to break off the engagement is called Nalan Yanran.”
“Luo Dan’er, do you know what ‘The King of Fire Will Die but No King in Sight’ means?”
“Luo Dan’er…”
Limuqun’s mouth was dry and mind blank, but Luo Dan’er didn’t even lift her head.
No way, are children really uninterested in this?
Even I, an adult, can’t resist these stories.
Limuqun felt utterly speechless, unable to understand this little demon’s thoughts.
“Forget it, forget it. Last story.”
“If you’re still crying after this, I give up and cry with you.”
He spoke to himself, searching for the right material.
Star Wars? Knights? Ultraman? Maybe something fresh.
Suddenly, memories of a few novels circulating in his class during school flashed through his mind.
Uh, I didn’t read the BL stuff, and not romance either.
Ah, that one called Dragon Clan—I remember it being all the rage.
Let’s do that!
With nothing to lose, Limuqun gave it his all.
Thanks to his extraordinary memory as a Foundation Establishment cultivator, he quickly recalled the entire novel.
“Ahem.” He cleared his throat and began: “Lu Ming X fought with…”
“In his eyes, hid the lion.”
After reciting a portion, he glanced sideways at Luo Dan’er.
Her eyes were swollen like sausages, but the little girl had quietly raised her head.
Although she still sobbed in fits and starts, she no longer cried as uncontrollably as before.
Gotcha! Finally, I’ve got you figured out!
Limuqun felt reinvigorated and continued, “The Three-man Team arrived at the island nation…”
“…”
“April 24th, went to Tokyo Skytree with Sakura. The warmest place in the world is atop the Skytree.”
“April 26th, went to Meiji Shrine with Sakura. There was a wedding held there.”
“April 25th, went to Disneyland with Sakura. The Haunted House was scary, but with Sakura there, it wasn’t.”
“Sakura is the best.”
He finished, panting, and turned around, but Luo Dan’er began quietly weeping again.
Not interested, huh? Why cry again then?
Before he could say anything, a hoarse voice whispered in his ear: “A-And then? Did that Drawing Yi come back to life? What happened to Lu Ming X in the end?”
So she was moved to tears!
Limuqun breathed a sigh of relief and shook his head, saying:
“I don’t know.”
“Why? Are you messing with me again?!”
“No, I really don’t know.” Limuqun shrugged. “The author died right after writing that part. They say it was from being hit by a meteor.”
“Th-That’s such a shame.”
“No, you should say it’s a good thing there are more meteors in the world.”
Limuqun smiled warmly and handed over some tissues. This time, Luo Dan’er hesitated but did not refuse, snatching the tissues eagerly.
“Don’t think you can make me forgive you just by telling me stories.”
“Sooner or later, I’ll drive you away from Mother’s side!”
“All right, all right, I’m waiting.”
“Hmph.” She turned her little face away coquettishly but couldn’t help adding:
“Drawing Yi was so pitiful—giving everything but never earning Lu Ming X’s true love.”
“Just like Dan’er and Mother.”
Limuqun, who had been a little tired before, suddenly sat up straight and focused completely.
Wow, there’s some real drama here!
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