Seeing her silent, Wang Sicheng suddenly laughed: “Xiang Di, I didn’t know you knew about adult stuff. Have you watched any?”
Before she could answer, Liang Qianqian immediately put down her chopsticks and covered Xiang Di’s ears.
“Hey, no talking about those topics with Xiang Di.” Liang Qianqian warned. “You dirty hands messing up the puffs at lunch was bad enough. Now you want to corrupt her pure little heart with your filthy mind?”
Wang Sicheng was speechless: “Hey, she brought up adult stuff first, okay?”
Xiang Di opened her mouth, innocent and naive: “But I only heard of adult stuff, I don’t know what it actually means.”
Liang Qianqian: “See? She doesn’t even know that, you almost corrupted an innocent girl.”
A few seconds later, Wang Sicheng clasped his fists and apologized: “Alright, I’m sorry, your graces. Forgive me.”
After the meal, Wang Sicheng had fully reconciled with the two girls, solemnly apologized to Xiang Di about the puffs, and treated both her and Liang Qianqian to dinner.
Xiang Di, being pure-hearted and generous, naturally forgave him.
After evening self-study, as Xiang Di was about to go home, Wang Sicheng asked her with a flattering tone if she could bring him some puffs next time.
Wang Sicheng said, “These puffs really are good. When I ate them this afternoon, the crust was soggy, but still delicious.”
Xiang Di reached out: “Money first. Also, I only have time to buy on the weekend, so I can bring them Monday—you’ll have to eat day-old ones.”
“No problem, day-old is fine. Day-old food is even tastier.” Wang Sicheng immediately took out his phone. “I’ll transfer now, plus fifty yuan for running the errand. Deal?”
“Forget the errand fee. The poor don’t eat charity.” Xiang Di waved her hand. “I’m off, heading home, bye.”
Wang Sicheng respectfully replied, “Take care.”
As Xiang Di left the classroom accompanied by Wang Sicheng’s polite send-off, she ran into Bo Jiangxin coming back from the office.
Her eyes lit up. “Um, this weekend when I get up early to buy puffs, is there anything else you want? I’ll bring it all Monday… By the way, do you mind eating day-old ones? If not, I can hire a Run Boy to deliver them.”
“Either’s fine, whatever’s convenient for you.” Bo Jiangxin said. “I’ll transfer you the money directly.”
“No need, I already said I’d treat you. I’ll figure it out then.”
Bo Jiangxin: “Hmm.”
Xiang Di and Liang Qianqian linked arms and left together under the dim hallway lights, Bo Jiangxin watching her figure disappear at the corridor’s end.
He returned to the classroom, packed his bag, and prepared to go home.
Wang Sicheng was packing too, happily sighing, “Ah, next week I get delicious puffs again.”
Bo Jiangxin realized she had promised to help Wang Sicheng buy puffs this weekend.
But the irritation from the afternoon was gone. He slung his bag over his shoulder and left.
Bo Jiangxin didn’t like crowded buses, so he took a taxi home.
At home, no one was on the first floor; the Auntie was cleaning upstairs. The supper she had made was on the dining table.
He casually threw his bag on the sofa and sat at the table.
Today’s porridge was on the sweet side. He didn’t really like it but drank more than half to appreciate Auntie’s effort.
Same with the puffs. He thought they were too sweet but still had Xiang Di buy them for him.
By rights, the puff issue had been settled—Xiang Di promised to bring him some more, and his mood should have lightened, but it hadn’t.
Those unasked questions had turned into knots in his heart.
Xiang Di thought he cared about her bringing puffs but not sharing with him. Before her explanation, even he thought so too.
He even mocked himself for being childish to care about a few puffs.
But after her explanation, he realized what he cared about wasn’t the puffs, nor that she gave the pork chop to Zhou Linxiao or the puffs to Wang Sicheng.
It was that she didn’t put him first.
She gave the rest of the puffs to another boy, unaware he had been hoping she’d give them to him.
You like me, don’t you? Why am I not your first?
Why does your heart shift as soon as another boy appears?
How much do you like me? Are those passionate inner voices you whisper really just your own self-sentimentality, or do you truly like me so much that it must be me?
Is your liking for me forever, or just a fleeting bloom? Will you soon like someone else again?
Bo Jiangxin couldn’t ask. He knew if he did, it’d be bad. Xiang Di would be shocked that he could hear her inner voice, that he already knew her secret.
Bo Jiangxin knew well that no matter what she liked about him—his appearance or his coldness—she could never like his illness.
If she found out, she’d probably be embarrassed and angry—that he heard everything but pretended not to, like an arrogant ruler, mocking her foolish feelings while enjoying her admiration.
She’d feel her pride hurt and distance herself completely.
Just like Grandfather said, no one can guarantee their heart stays honest forever; everyone has darkness inside.
A dishonest person might even lie in their Notebook, but their inner voice cannot lie.
Whether kind or cruel, love or hate, a person’s inner voice is their deepest secret.
No one wants a monster around them who can read that voice.
He couldn’t tell her—he wouldn’t be Bo Jiangxin if he did.
Pride was his core, even his shadow stood tall and proud. His coldness wasn’t arrogance but exhaustion from handling complicated hearts, used to dealing with all emotions alone.
Children know crying or throwing a fit draws attention, but Bo Jiangxin despised such tricks.
Care and love from parents and friends were only meaningful if sincere; otherwise, he’d rather have none.
Only Ye Minjia, that carefree fool, had tolerated his coldness for three years, accepting his unpleasant personality.
But he wouldn’t tell Ye Minjia that people move on with time.
No matter how deep high school friendships are, they fade after graduation.
Ye Minjia would have his own circle, friends he got along with better, and a lifelong partner.
That’s the life Ye Minjia should have.
That’s the life Xiang Di should have—a normal life anyone deserves.
Not one like his.
He had already planned to be alone until Xiang Di appeared, attracting his attention in such a blatant way that he couldn’t help but care for her.
He didn’t want to admit he cared or show how happy he was to be noticed.
She was the one who liked him first, unrequitedly, so why did he end up lowering himself to find her?
He thought if he couldn’t hear her inner voice anymore, life would return to normal.
After graduation, they’d never see each other again, and he’d keep her secret forever.
But life obviously couldn’t go back to peace.
He couldn’t hear her voice now, which made him even more troubled.
At this moment, Bo Jiangxin finally realized: he cared very, very much about Xiang Di.
Once you care about someone, you want to know what’s on their mind—that’s uncontrollable.
But now, he couldn’t hear her at all.
He couldn’t finish the remaining half bowl of porridge.
Just then, Auntie came downstairs and saw it. She thought maybe the porridge wasn’t good today.
“Did I put too much sugar?” Auntie said guiltily. “My bad, I know you don’t like sweet.”
“No, I ate too much dinner.” Bo Jiangxin added, “The porridge tastes good.”
Auntie sighed with relief.
Going upstairs to his room, after working on some test papers, Bo Jiangxin picked up his phone.
It was late; Grandfather should have been asleep.
He thought about not disturbing him and decided to send a message, waiting for Grandfather to wake and reply.
But just a few minutes later, Grandfather called back.
His tone was gentle: “Xin’er, high school senior year is tough. Still up so late?”
Bo Jiangxin said: “You’re not sleeping either.”
“When I start playing chess, I lose track of time. I’m going to bed soon.” Grandfather said. “Why did you suddenly ask about our family disease?”
“Did something happen?”
“Nothing.” After a pause, Bo Jiangxin said, “I have a question.”
“Ask.”
“A while ago, I accidentally drank a classmate’s milk tea and heard her inner voice, but after a few days, I couldn’t hear it anymore.”
Grandfather explained, “That’s normal. Your body metabolized it. Normally, saliva entering the body is quickly broken down by water, digestive enzymes, and antibacterial proteins. Usually, it’s digested within a few hours. Our family’s physiology is a bit special, so digestion is slower. I told you this in elementary biology, didn’t I?”
“I know that. I’m not asking about that.” Bo Jiangxin said. “I’m asking… after digestion, with physical contact, I still can’t hear.”
Grandfather made a long ‘oh’ sound.
“Grandpa?”
“Yes, I’m here. Biology can explain this too. Your body produced antibodies, so mild physical contact isn’t enough anymore.”
Grandfather’s tone was light: “I wanted to tell you this when you started school. You could have treated everyone in class to drinks and then drunk from the same bottles again. That way, you’d get along with everyone normally.”
Bo Jiangxin frowned instantly.
“Hahaha, but Grandpa knew you were picky about cleanliness, so he didn’t say it. But isn’t this perfect now?” Grandpa laughed. “You can be totally normal with that classmate, no need to avoid contact.”
“Xin’er? Still there?”
Bo Jiangxin hummed.
Grandfather asked: “Anything else you want to ask?”
After a few seconds of silence, Bo Jiangxin spoke: “Then, how can I hear that classmate’s inner voice again?”
Grandfather sounded puzzled: “Ah? You barely stopped hearing it, and you want to hear it again?”
Bo Jiangxin’s face twisted into a faint sneer.