Mushuang hurriedly ran over in the direction of the sound, finding several senior sisters from Lingyin Valley gathered around the broadcasting crystal, eyes wide with excitement.
[Welcome, everyone, to the Town Arena Tournament Monthly Report. This program is exclusively broadcast by the Cultivator Alliance Official Channel.]
It was during the rolling opening of this program that, for a brief moment, Jiang Ke’er’s figure appeared on screen.
“You really just saw Qing Yi?” Mushuang asked in confusion. “How could she appear at the Town Arena Tournament?”
The disciples of Taiming Sect didn’t know that Jiang Ke’er was actually Qing Yi. Yiqin had lied to them, saying that Jiang Ke’er had gone to experience the mortal world and needed to leave the sect for a while.
“We really saw her! Even though it was just a fleeting shot, we can’t be mistaken!”
“Let’s watch again!”
On the broadcasting crystal, one of the commentators was practically spraying saliva as he spoke, eyes gleaming with excitement.
[It’s finally time for the monthly highlights! This past month, our arena has produced countless remarkable dark horses!]
[Absolutely, absolutely!]
These two commentators were famous—a tall and a short one, brothers.
The older brother was called Zhao Bai, the younger Zhao Hei.
[For example, War Wasteland Team Eight and Team Ten, Heaven’s Gate Team Seven, and Divine Spirit Team Nine have all achieved an incredible one hundred and fifty consecutive victories… These are the favorites for the championship! Their overall strength is leagues ahead of previous years!] Zhao Bai announced with excitement. [Our clan truly has no shortage of talented people!]
[Yes, yes!] Zhao Hei nodded rapidly.
[Alright, now it’s time for this month’s “Top Ten Highlights” and the selection for “Monthly Best Cultivator”!] Zhao Hei punched the air in anticipation.
[Oh, and before we reveal the results, let me add a few things—the selection is jointly decided by the Seven Emergent Venerables of the Cultivator Alliance! The evaluation considers individual abilities, the disparity between both sides, and the brilliance of any comeback moments, ensuring absolute fairness and impartiality! So you can totally trust the authority of this show~] Zhao Bai flashed a toothy grin.
[The official secrecy has always been top-notch—even we didn’t know the results in advance… We’re really looking forward to it!]
Zhao Hei eagerly rubbed his hands together, taking a pitch-black box from an assistant’s arms.
Mysterious golden patterns were carved on the Mystic Black Box, blending with its deep black surface to give it a rare and precious aura.
Zhao Hei formed hand seals with both hands, chanting under his breath.
He began to recite a long Unlocking Incantation.
Though he’d performed this more than once, the powerful seal still placed a heavy burden on his body—bulging veins stood out on his forehead as he chanted for several minutes, True Qi surging through him, his eyes flashing with divine light.
[Open!]
With a sudden rush of wind sweeping the area, the swirling mist slowly dispersed, revealing twenty crystals and a face-down card inside the box.
Zhao Hei could hardly wait: [Finally unlocked! Since the selection involves monthly rewards, it’s only natural for the higher-ups to be cautious. The seal was perfectly intact—even if unlocking was a bit slow, at least this proves nothing inside was swapped out, right?]
[Alright, alright, enough talk, let’s get started!] Zhao Bai urged.
[Okay, then, let’s keep the “Monthly Best Cultivator” a mystery for now and first check out this month’s cultivator highlights!]
[First up is the first highlight—”Divine Spirit Team Ten” vs “Bagpipe Squad”… Ha, this was one interesting match, and I’m sure everyone’s heard both team names plenty of times.]
A burst of laughter rose from the audience below the stage.
Bagpipe Squad—who didn’t know them?
That idiotic Demon Race team that faithfully came every year to serve as cannon fodder on the arena.
Personally led by “Humanity’s Most Loyal Friend,” Commander Jiaosilian, they brought the elite of the Demon Race up to the arena to be slaughtered, bringing endless joy to the cultivators of the human race.
[Looks like this year’s prize goes to “Divine Spirit Team Ten,” but for “Bagpipe Squad” to make it into the highlights thanks to Divine Spirit Team Ten’s splendid performance—even their deaths were worthwhile!] Zhao Hei chuckled.
[Now then, let’s enjoy… this delightful match together!]
[Boom—]
The opening thunderstrike.
A power-type cultivator from Divine Spirit Team Ten unleashed a magnificent uppercut, sending Jieshui flying into the air, several teeth scattering.
[Haha, just as I expected, Divine Spirit Team Ten’s strength makes mincemeat out of weaklings like this—it’s just chopping vegetables!] Zhao Hei laughed loudly.
The battle raged fiercely, but Zhao Bai felt something was off.
This was supposed to be a highlights reel…
Highlight reels never feature one-sided massacres—they just aren’t that entertaining.
[Swoosh swoosh swoosh—Boom—Bang thud—]
As he was lost in thought, a sudden, intense clash erupted on screen, as if both teams had poured out all their pent-up strength in a single, explosive moment!
[Alright! Now we see Divine Spirit Team Ten’s Captain charging into enemy lines alone! Burst steps followed by burst punches—an imposing combo! He looks like a god descended to earth, unstoppable!]
[The opposition’s done for! An agility-type cultivator, but caught up by such a heavy-armored warrior… Divine Spirit Team Ten’s Captain is moving! It’s the Zen-Enlightened Dragon-Slaying Fist! His head’s flying! His head’s flying! Eh? Eh???]
Zhao Hei shouted, then froze completely.
Wait, where’s Divine Spirit Team Ten Captain’s head?
This development—it’s completely reversed!
[Although they’ve fallen into a severe disadvantage, Divine Spirit Team Ten isn’t discouraged! Staying calm in the face of danger, they immediately switch tactics and launch a desperate counterattack! Now we see…]
Another power-type cultivator from Divine Spirit Team is on the ground, searching everywhere for his head.
An odd silence descended on the broadcast booth as Zhao Hei and Zhao Bai watched the events unfold on screen, dumbfounded.
…How are we supposed to commentate on this?!
Have the Seven Emergent Venerables lost their minds, releasing this morale-crushing footage, and actually labeling it a highlight?
In this dead silence, Zhao Hei and Zhao Bai could only offer embarrassed grins, watching as Divine Spirit Team Ten’s members all scrambled around looking for their heads.
When the video finally ended, Zhao Hei couldn’t wait to toss the crystal aside, stammering: [Th-that was a great fight! Exciting! Now, let’s move on to the next match.]
[This match is War Wasteland Team Nine against… hmm, Bagpipe Squad again.] Zhao Hei looked at the label on the crystal in disbelief.
Zhao Bai hurriedly took over commentary, rallying his spirits: [No worries, even though Bagpipe Squad’s performance this year has been surprising, War Wasteland Team Nine’s strength is undeniable… Don’t worry, this definitely isn’t a cursed jinx. There’s no such thing as a cursed commentator in Shenzhou! Now, play it!]
[Whoosh~ Bang! Clang! Boom! Thud—]
A few minutes later, the Referee announced Bagpipe Squad’s victory with a face like he’d just eaten dung.
Zhao Hei and Zhao Bai swore—this must be the most soul-crushing highlights reel in thousands of years.
Hopefully, that was the end of it… right???
[Third match! Heaven’s Gate Team Eight vs… Bag—Bagpipe Squad…]
(╯°Д°)╯︵ ┻━┻
How am I supposed to commentate on this banana-stick-beating nonsense!