Rustle, rustle, rustle.
It was like the shutter of an old camera clicking repeatedly. Faint yet clear images flashed one after another, and whispered murmurs quietly surfaced in his heart, like the tip of a pen gently scratching against paper.
[March 14, met a honey trap, met someone at school with no sense of boundaries.]
[March 28, that girl accompanied me to school day after day. I really don’t know why she’s putting in so much effort.]
[April 12, I think I’ve fallen for her. Her name is Ji Qingchan. She’s the one I like, and she has very beautiful hands.]
[May 13, Ji Qingchan, Ji Qingchan, I think I’ve fallen for her? How strange. Is this what love tastes like?]
[June 25, it’s decided. I’ll confess to Ji Qingchan after this summer break, but first, I need to understand her secret. Why is she hiding from me? Why is she—]
[June 28, she isn’t her! She isn’t her! She isn’t Ji Qingchan! She isn’t the girl I love, she is… Ji Yue’nian!]
Rustle, rustle, rustle.
It sounded like the noise of a page being turned, or perhaps a gust of wind blowing by, carrying away all sorrow, only for it to be immediately refilled with new anxieties.
[July 26, the hospital has been contacted, just waiting for…]
[August 3, why doesn’t she exist? Why doesn’t she exist?! Why doesn’t my Ji Qingchan exist!! Ji Yue’nian, I hate you!!!]
[September 6, I’m afraid I’m sick. I actually think Ji Yue’nian is somewhat cute now. She clearly isn’t my Qingchan; she’s just a liar, a fraud who cheated me of my feelings.]
[September 14, I’m really sick. Paranoia, hahahaha, I really am a mental patient.]
[…]
“Senior Jiang, wake up~”
“Senior Jiang, stop sleeping~~”
Jiang Chi slowly opened his eyes. Before him was a field of pure white, and everything appeared blurred. That light was more brilliant than sunlight and softer than moonlight, as if heaven were beckoning and calling to him.
The face leaning close was clean and flawless, tinged with a warm glow. It smelled like sunshine and looked like a lake rippled by a spring breeze.
“Ji… Qingchan?” Jiang Chi’s vision gradually cleared. He was lying in a dreamlike white mist. There was nothing around him except for the ethereal fog and the person he longed for day and night.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jiang Chi hugged her tightly, as if trying to merge her into his own body. Tears welled up and fell drop by drop onto her snow-white neck, scalding and hot. “You still exist, you still exist. I missed you so much, I missed you so much.”
“Ji Qingchan, my Qingchan.”
“Ji Qingchan” also felt Jiang Chi’s surging emotions. She reached out her hands to hug him back and smiled, seemingly trying to liven the atmosphere.
“I didn’t expect Senior Jiang to actually dream of me. I thought I’d only appear in those naughty dreams of yours~~”
“Alright, Senior Jiang, don’t cry.”
Her pale, slender hands gently wiped the tear stains from Jiang Chi’s cheeks. She looked up, her gaze as clear as ever.
“The cold, icy Senior Jiang I like doesn’t shed tears so easily.”
Hearing this, Jiang Chi froze. His sobbing and tears stopped, but he still looked at her with red eyes, his voice raspy. “Qingchan, I like you too…”
“Shh!”
A slender index finger pressed against the boy’s lips, blocking the words that were about to follow.
The girl’s beautiful eyes were brimming with a gentle smile, yet they also held an indescribable emotion.
“Senior Jiang, the one you like isn’t me. It’s the girl who pulled you out of the mire, the girl who once saved you, the girl who appeared when you were most helpless, most desperate, and most expectant in your life.”
“That girl could be named ‘Ji Qingchan,’ she could be named ‘Chen Qingchan,’ or ‘Li Qingchan.’ Perhaps she could even be named ‘Ji Yue’nian.'”
“No! That’s not it!”
Jiang Chi shook his head.
Jiang Chi resisted.
Jiang Chi wanted to deny it.
He liked Ji Qingchan because…
Because…
Right, because of what?
Was it because he liked Ji Qingchan from the very beginning? What if Ji Qingchan hadn’t stayed by his side during those days? If another girl had stayed with him just like Ji Qingchan did, would he still like Ji Qingchan?
Was it really Ji Qingchan that he liked?
“See, you’re being paranoid again.”
Seeing the boy suddenly fall into silence, “Ji Qingchan” shook her head. She lightly held his hand and pressed it against his chest, feeling that strong, powerful heartbeat.
“‘Ji Qingchan’s’ purpose for existing was to win you over, and I am the collection of all the beautiful things you gathered about ‘Ji Qingchan.’ To put it simply, I am the flawless ‘White Moonlight’ from your inner fantasies.”
“And as the White Moonlight in your heart, how could I not know what you’re thinking?”
“You like ‘Ji Qingchan,’ you like me, but you also know the truth that ‘Ji Qingchan’ doesn’t exist, so you deceive yourself and numb yourself.”
“You want to turn her into my image, you want to remodel her. But now, it seems her tracks are in your heart. Is it because that person has a shadow you’re familiar with, or did you develop feelings for her during your long time together? Perhaps it’s both.”
“I…” Jiang Chi instinctively wanted to deny it. He might not be a “pure-heart” lover now, but the only person he truly liked was “Ji Qingchan.” He was about to speak, but his lips were once again blocked by the girl’s finger.
“Senior Jiang, don’t be anxious. I know you have an obsessive disorder, and I, this White Moonlight, am the biggest knot in your heart.” Her smile was gentle and sweet, like a spring breeze in March.
“You see, being unable to obtain what you want and having to part from what you love is the biggest cause of your obsession.”
She reached out her arms to embrace him, stroking his broad, solid back with the tenderness of someone coaxing a child to sleep.
“Jiang Chi, Senior Jiang, don’t feel sad for me. In fact, I never disappeared. I have always existed in your heart.”
“In my heart?” Jiang Chi murmured.
“Yes.” The girl nodded.
She poked the boy’s chest firmly.
“In your heart, always.”
“You need to reconcile with yourself. You need to learn to let go, and…”
“Ji Qingchan” tilted her head slightly, a flash of mischief in her eyes. “Aren’t I her? Why do you have to see me and her as two different people? Is it because you hate her for the deception? But she and I were originally the same person.”
“I am her, and she is me. If you like me, don’t you like her? And compared to the ‘sisters-bowl’ fantasy in the depths of your heart, I think pure love is the true love of life.”
“Just like this.”
As soon as she finished speaking, she suddenly changed her appearance. Short hair, a slender waist, long legs—it was the person etched deeply into Jiang Chi’s memory: Ji Yue’nian.
The mature woman lowered her head slightly and kissed Jiang Chi’s lips.
For a moment, the air seemed to freeze. It was as if he could hear two hearts thumping loudly in his ears. An unprecedented flutter spread rapidly through Jiang Chi’s heart like a tide, making his body tremble slightly.
The boy’s hand trembled as he slowly raised it, seemingly wanting to grasp this moment of beauty. However, the woman suddenly backed away, her movements light and agile.
She playfully made a face at Jiang Chi—a look that was both cheeky and cute—then waved her hand and said in a crisp voice, “Alright, Senior Jiang, it’s time for you to wake up.”
“We will meet eventually, because I have been by your side all along.”
In the next moment, the whole world seemed to start spinning. The sleeping youth snapped his eyes open amidst this strange sensation. Just as he saw the scene before him, a voice rang out sharply in his ear.
“Holy crap! Chi-baby, you’re finally awake!!”
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