In an instant, we were at the entrance of the mansion—just my brother, Ray, and I remained.
“Ahem. Please forgive us for not properly receiving you since you arrived without prior notice.”
My brother, seemingly surprised, spoke in a slightly reproachful tone.
He then glanced at me, as if asking whether I had invited Ray.
Feeling unjustly accused myself, I shook my head slightly and asked Ray,
“Yeah… I was really surprised. Could it be that the message got lost along the way?”
Because otherwise, it didn’t make any sense.
I was firmly convinced in my mind that, while Pedro might have done such a thing, Ray would never visit so rudely.
Where did things go wrong?
As I pondered this, Ray replied with an awkward expression,
“I wrote in the letter that I’d come next. Seiana said it was okay, so I came…”
Did “next” mean the next day, not the next opportunity?
Though Ray didn’t seem to realize exactly what he’d done wrong, he seemed to have picked up on the fact that something was off.
Seeing Ray trying to read the mood, my brother looked away slightly and cautiously said,
“Visits should always be arranged with specific dates and times. That is proper etiquette.”
“Even when visiting a close friend’s house?”
“No one would criticize Your Highness for not following etiquette. However, our family must abide by it. If we fail to correct the lord’s faults, the blame for poor service may fall on our house.”
In other words, if Ray did something improper, I’d be the one to suffer criticism alongside him.
Ray looked shocked at that and turned to me.
“I… I didn’t know…”
He stammered, clearly unaware of the implications.
My brother looked unconvinced, but I found it understandable.
It may be presumptuous, but considering the imperial family can’t even manage their own household well enough to keep children safe, I doubted anyone had taught Ray the basics.
And honestly, few people would have the nerve to lecture royalty about manners like my brother just had.
“It’s okay… It could happen. Just don’t make the same mistake next time.”
I stepped in to defend Ray.
Seeing how guilty he looked, I couldn’t help but take his side.
My brother looked at me with mild disapproval but soon gave in.
“We weren’t prepared to receive anyone, so it’ll take a while to get ready. If you wait in Lovey’s private room, I’ll send tea and refreshments there.”
Saying so, he took the bouquet I was holding.
It looked heavy due to its large size.
With my hands free, I took Ray’s hand, still downcast.
I had meant to guide him, but the sudden physical contact surprised him, and his eyes widened.
Then he smiled softly and naturally interlaced his fingers with mine.
The closeness of our palms made my ears burn.
‘It’s nothing special… so why am I so embarrassed?’
Though I felt flustered inside, I pretended to be fine and led the way.
Ray followed silently, his soft footsteps trailing behind me.
“This is it.”
Once we were alone, I dropped the formal tone.
My private room was attached to the bedroom.
When I got older, it would become a study, but for now, it was a multipurpose room where I could play and study.
When we entered, a collection of dolls and a dollhouse sat along one wall.
In the center was a cozy sofa for resting or playing, and by the window opposite the door stood a small desk and chair, perfectly sized for me, along with a bookshelf holding several books.
“Probably looks boring to a boy, right?”
After all, it was full of dolls and only had children’s books.
Pedro had hated spending time in this room.
He said it was childish and dull.
For the record, we were both ten years old—so, technically, we were children.
‘I didn’t even ask him to play house with me.’
Thinking of Pedro suddenly made my chest ache.
I thought I’d moved on from our broken engagement, but realizing how much of my mind was still tainted by thoughts of him annoyed me.
I believed Ray wouldn’t act like Pedro, but I wasn’t confident, which made me feel guilty for showing him this room.
However, Ray didn’t behave rudely like Pedro had.
“What’s your favorite thing in here, Seiana?”
“Huh?”
Ray asked while peering at the dolls in the display case.
For some reason, Pedro’s sneering face as he insulted the dolls—calling them creepy, boring, and ugly—seemed to fade from my memory a bit.
“Just curious. I want to know what you like.”
Ray turned slightly and smiled at me.
Without a word, I stepped next to him and gazed into the display case.
What did I like the most?
With past lives, my childhood memories were hazy, but I remembered it soon enough.
“This one.”
It was a rabbit doll placed in the center of the display.
With a body made of soft white fur and sparkling blue bead eyes, it stood out.
I reached for it unconsciously.
Though old, I had taken good care of it, so its fur was still fluffy and its body stuffed firm with cotton.
“It was the first gift I ever received.”
Honestly, I didn’t remember it clearly.
I’d heard that the day I was born, my father rushed to a toy shop in the territory as soon as he learned he had a daughter and bought it in a hurry.
It wasn’t a custom-made piece, so it wasn’t very expensive.
This display had dolls with gemstone eyes or embroidered clothes with gold thread, after all.
In that sense, it was probably the cheapest, most ordinary item here.
But because of its meaning, it was my favorite.
“It looks like you, Seiana.”
“Huh? It does?”
I’d never thought that because we’re different species.
Confused, I looked at Ray as he turned from the rabbit doll and looked at me.
“It’s white, and blue. And…”
Ray lifted his free hand and gently pressed my cheek.
“Soft.”
He grinned mischievously.
Though I knew it was a harmless joke, I still felt oddly flustered.
“N-not that soft!”
My face flushed as I hurriedly took the rabbit doll from the case and thrust it into Ray’s arms.
He looked startled by the sudden movement but hugged the doll tightly with both arms.
Our interlocked fingers naturally came apart.
Ray gently stroked the rabbit’s head with an unreadable expression.
He was probably just feeling the softness of the fur, but because of what he said earlier about it resembling me, it felt like he was stroking my head—and I quickly looked away.
“Then what’s your second favorite?”
“Huh?”
“It doesn’t have to be a doll. I just want to know what things Seiana likes.”
“What I like…?”
I thought deeply about those words.
It wasn’t a difficult question to answer, but it was unfamiliar because I had never been asked something like that before.
My family knew me too well to ever ask such a question.
Outside of my family, the only people I was close with were Pedro and his family, but they were only interested in “Estarote’s Jewel of Gold and Jade,” the financial pillar of their house, rather than the person “Seiana Lovell di Estarote.”
So they had never shown any curiosity about me.
So this was the first time someone outside had asked me this kind of question, and also the first time I had spoken about it to someone else.
Caught off guard, my mind went completely blank, and I instinctively looked around.
“What… did I like?” As I looked around, my eyes landed on a doll wearing pearl earrings.
“I like pearls.”
Pearls tend to have an old-fashioned, outdated image, especially for someone young like me, so most people my age didn’t wear them.
On top of that, my coloring was naturally light, so pearls didn’t really suit me.
Even my family, who knew me well, didn’t know this.
They probably thought tourmaline was my favorite.
‘Why didn’t I ever show that I liked pearls?’
Ah.
Come to think of it, this was all because of Pedro again.
I remembered how I wore a pearl hairpin I cherished in my previous life, only for him to comment that the color of the pearls blended with my hair so much it looked like it was all clumped together.
After that, I hid my liking for pearls.
Suppressing my growing irritation, I forced a laugh.
“But they don’t suit me, so I don’t wear them often.”
“Why not?”
“Well… pearls are white, and my hair is white too, so I thought it would look weird.”
At my insecure voice, Ray opened his eyes wide and took a step closer to me.
“It’s not weird.”
“Huh?”
“Look. Seiana’s hair is silver. With a soft hint of sky blue.”
Ray took a strand of my hair, removed the pearl brooch pinned to his collar, and held it against my hair.
The brooch had pearls set around a silver ring, subtle enough to pass for a hairpin without looking too flashy.
“Pearls and your hair are both light in color, but they’re not the same. In fact, because they’re similar in tone, they go well together. They both have a subtle shimmer—it’s beautiful.”
He was right.
I didn’t know if it was beautiful, but at least it didn’t look weird or like my hair was clumping together, the way Pedro had said.
I quietly looked down at my hair.
‘Was that true? Was it never weird to begin with?’
Now that I think about it, Pedro just liked ruining everything I did.
He probably didn’t say the pearl thing because it looked truly strange—he just said it was weird because he knew I liked it.
And that one careless comment, which he probably forgot the moment he said it, had stuck with me.
I let it control me all this time, hiding something I actually liked.