“Just treat me like I’m invisible, seriously. If I breathe a word of this to anyone, may all my game pulls only give me trash.”
Judging by Yan Dong’s expression, he wasn’t joking.
Still, I just wasn’t used to opening up to anyone about my own feelings.
“Lin Yunxia, why are you dragging this out?”
Yan Dong nudged the tip of my leather shoe with his bent knee.
His messy hair, tousled by the hood of his sweatshirt, shimmered a soft golden hue under the sunlight.
“You heard all my secrets and you’re not gonna say anything back?”
“You’re the one who brought it up, Young Master, not me. I didn’t ask. And besides, there’s nothing worth telling about me.”
“Cut the crap. Aren’t you always going on about your principles?”
He suddenly leaned in close, and the scent of cedar hit me without warning.
By the time I realized it, he had already crossed what I considered a safe distance.
His hot breath brushed against my face, and I became acutely aware that if he leaned just a bit closer, our lips might actually touch.
“So what, now you’re the one taking advantage?”
“You’re the one taking advantage of me,” I muttered under my breath, too quiet for anyone else to hear.
I tilted my head back slightly to put some space between us, hesitated for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod.
“I get it.”
I let out a helpless sigh, my thoughts slowly sinking into the deep waters of memory.
That not-so-distant past still felt like a wound that would never heal.
Every time the scab was torn open, it hurt like hell.
“Actually… the last thing my dad said to me before he passed was, ‘Don’t leave until I come out.'”
My fingertip absentmindedly slid across the phone screen, my voice sinking with the memory into a past that wasn’t even that far away.
“He seemed fine before the surgery. He was even smiling and saying that once he recovered, we’d all go to the beach together.”
“I was so dumb, looking up travel guides like an idiot. I had no idea that would be the last time I saw him…”
My voice suddenly caught, and the cheap jasmine scent in the air became chokingly strong.
Maybe it was some chemical reaction between the shampoo and the disinfectant memory, or maybe just the faint airflow stirred by falling hair.
“The second-to-last thing he told me was to take care of Mom, but I…”
The sudden spasm in my throat was harsher than I expected.
I clenched the side seam of my suit pants so hard that my fingernails left crescent-shaped marks in my palm, forcing myself to swallow down the bitterness rising from my throat.
I wasn’t nearly as strong as I liked to think.
I’d just gotten used to pushing the pain into hidden corners.
“Your hero just died.”
Yan Dong’s voice pulled me back to reality.
I looked down and realized my game screen had already gone gray.
He suddenly grabbed the jasmine tea on the coffee table and took a huge gulp, only to start coughing from drinking too fast.
I sat stiffly, staring blankly at the reflection rippling in my cup, the girl with the red ribbon in her hair was giving the exact same bitter smile my father had at the end.
“That’s why I said there’s nothing worth telling about me.”
“Lin Yunxia, your brain’s just stuck. Have you even enjoyed a single day of college life? You push yourself this hard every day, what’s the point of living like that?”
I looked down and smoothed out the nearly invisible creases on my suit pants, my voice as flat as ever, never stirring any waves.
“This is just how I survive.”
“Talking to you is exhausting, Lin Yunxia. If you drop dead from overwork someday, don’t go around telling people you know me. I’d die of embarrassment!”
He winced suddenly, clutching the left side of his face.
“Tch—fuck, it hurts…”
The pain hit right as his voice rose, the fading painkillers triggering a sharp throb that knotted his brows tight.
“Mm, got it. I won’t make things hard for you, Young Master.”
“You’re so fucking…”
He frowned and reached behind a cushion, pulling out a brand new phone, which he tossed casually into my lap.
“Take it. Stop trying to teamfight with that secondhand piece of junk that lags like hell.”
“No need, Young Master. My phone works just fine.”
“Just take it as thanks for not hanging up during the surgery.”
That sudden “thank you” caught me off guard.
Maybe it was because his tone sounded so sincere, or maybe because, in all my memory, it was the first time he’d ever said thanks to me.
Either way, by the time I registered it, he was already yelling again.
“Fuck, we lost! Damn it, Lin, it’s all your fault for hesitating. If you’d switched phones earlier, we could’ve won that teamfight.”
I lightly ran my fingers over the top-of-the-line fruit phone resting in my hands, a model that would take me six months of food delivery runs to afford.
Then I simply shook my head and gently placed it back on the marble surface of the coffee table.
“I can’t accept a gift like this.”
“It’s just a phone. What’s there to fuss over?”
“It’s not about the phone.”
As I stood up, the hem of my suit jacket cut a sharp arc through the air, and the red ribbon in my hair swayed lightly with the motion.
“Because I already received your thanks.”
The air stirred by my movement carried the faint aroma of the jasmine tea cups between us.
The sunlight caught the edge of Yan Dong’s upturned face, outlining it in gold.
In his pupils, there were ripples I couldn’t quite read.
And in that moment, I realized, this was the first time in two months that we looked at each other like normal people.
“Young Master, I’m off the clock.”
“What, seriously? You said four o’clock and now you’re really leaving at exactly four? Is it gonna kill you to stay a few minutes late? Come on, one more game, I can’t end the session on a shameful loss.”
“You like to waste time, Young Master. I don’t have that luxury.”
Of course, that brief softness in my heart wouldn’t change how I saw him.
So I ignored his grumbling and, out of habit, tucked the loose strand of hair behind my ear.
The cold touch of the jasmine hair tie’s metal flower calyx snapped me back to clarity.
In just three days, this motion had become second nature to me, as if, for nineteen years, my fingers had always known the feel of silky hair, not stiff, cropped strands.
Suddenly, he snorted from the sofa, arrogantly crossing one leg over the other. His puffy face returned to its usual smug expression.
“Get lost. Lin, don’t forget to drag yourself back here tomorrow to cook for your Young Master.”
***
As dusk slowly spread across the city skyline, I was already riding my secondhand electric scooter beneath the tangle of old power lines in the heart of the old city, pulling up to a mall I often visited.
“Xiaoxia, you’re here so early today?”
“Mm, there wasn’t anything at school today, so I came by a bit earlier. Sister Zhao, here’s the food you ordered.”
“Thanks, Xiaoxia. Don’t go just yet, give me two minutes.”
Squinting slightly, I gave her my usual gentle smile.
The store clerk I called Sister Zhao took the delivery from my hands, then asked me to wait a moment.
“Xiaoxia, this is for you.”
What she finally placed in my palm was a small hair clip, still warm to the touch.
It was nothing more than a cheap trinket you could find at any roadside stall, but I truly appreciated this small act of kindness from a stranger.
Though I clumsily fumbled to fasten it in my hair, Sister Zhao had already covered her mouth with a laugh.
“Xiaoxia, you’re so clumsy. Next time, let your boyfriend help you with it.”
Embarrassed by her teasing, I made a quick escape.
But just as I stepped into the elevator, my phone buzzed in my hand.
It was a screenshot from Yan Dong, showing my 0/5/20 score from our last game, accompanied by a snide caption: “Trash support who only knows how to ride coattails.”
“Yan, you’re the real trash, and trashy down to your toenails.”
I locked my phone and, without thinking, stared at the reflection of the girl in the elevator mirror.
Her hair was tied with a jasmine hair tie, its pure white petals trailing two long red ribbons, like blood-colored veins growing out of her hair.
I didn’t know why, but all of a sudden, I caught the faintest ripple of a smile curling at the corners of that girl’s mouth in the mirror…
ok maybe that interaction might have probably, dubiously, stirred my heartstrings a lil’ but i still don’t approve of this union