In the bathroom, Li Xingya sat on the toilet.
After a moment, she stood up, pulled up her pants, and pressed the flush button.
Amid the sound of rushing water, she sighed involuntarily.
‘I’ve basically gotten used to going to the bathroom in a woman’s body…’
She walked to the sink, washing her hands while looking at herself in the mirror.
More precisely, she was looking at her own neck, which was intact.
‘In the end, Jiang Chiyue couldn’t bring herself to do it?’
‘Given the atmosphere at the time, I really thought I was going to die.’
Back then, Jiang Chiyue had just stared at Li Xingya without a word.
Finally, she said, “Don’t hurt yourself anymore,” then got up and went back to her room.
It was unclear whether she had actually accepted Li Xingya’s explanation.
Later, Li Xingya ate dinner alone at the table, never once seeing Jiang Chiyue come out of her room.
‘Is this a cold war?’
‘Probably not.’
‘Cold wars are something between couples.’
‘Jiang Chiyue and I are at most a creditor and debtor relationship.’
Thinking this, Li Xingya turned off the faucet.
From start to finish, she didn’t really care what Jiang Chiyue thought.
Whether they left each other alone or grew tired of each other, as long as Jiang Chiyue didn’t suddenly rush over and try to force herself on her like some crazy character in a novel, it was fine.
But something about today felt off.
Normally, Li Xingya didn’t mind playing pretend games with Jiang Chiyue—it was just a special service for her creditor.
So why had she been so impatient today?
Was it because, in front of Meng Yiqiao, she didn’t need to play the role of “Li Xingya”?
Or… just as she was gradually getting used to a new way of using the bathroom, was this body also subtly influencing her?
‘Major Depressive Disorder.’
Li Xingya recalled the diagnosis that had appeared in the rented house.
Logically, with severe depression, the hospital should have intervened with some mandatory treatment.
Since “Li Xingya” was able to stay at home… she must have mostly recovered, right?
Li Xingya didn’t want to wake up one day and suddenly find herself depressed.
‘Forget it.’
‘Thinking about this kind of thing is useless. Just take it one step at a time.’
‘Instead of worrying about that, I should figure out how to appease Jiang Chiyue.’
Li Xingya’s eyes dimmed almost imperceptibly.
‘Work.’
‘I can’t mess up work—that’s the only thing.’
‘I have to do it properly.’
‘If I can’t even do my job right, then what difference is there between “me” and “Li Xingya”?’
Without even realizing it, Li Xingya had been resisting being seen as “Li Xingya” the whole time.
Back in her room, she lay on the bed and took out her phone.
Probably to distract herself, she typed a name into the search bar.
[Lin Jin’an]
Counting today, Li Xingya had seen this name too many times.
Even though she wasn’t interested in Lin Jin’an personally and didn’t care about the idol industry, at this point, she couldn’t help but think about it.
‘What kind of person is Lin Jin’an, really?’
She watched clips of performances.
She scrolled through comments full of praise.
Li Xingya randomly clicked on one.
The first thing she heard was a voice that had been processed with a “distortion” effect.
When the stage lit up, Lin Jin’an appeared on it.
Unlike most idols who debuted as part of a girl group, Lin Jin’an was alone.
Li Xingya remembered a colleague from her previous life saying… this was called a “female soloist”?
‘So, is this how I’m supposed to debut in the future?’
On a dazzling stage, smiling at the frenzied fans below.
‘It should be fine, right?’
Even though Li Xingya never quite understood it, she knew that the people she knew really liked her smile.
Watching Lin Jin’an in the video.
A striking head of white hair, red contact lenses that reflected crimson under the stage lights.
Unlike most idols performing on stage, Lin Jin’an’s makeup was understated.
This girl’s skin was terrifyingly good—so good she didn’t need makeup at all.
Li Xingya listened to the singing from her phone, watched the dancing figure on the screen, and unconsciously brought her arm up to shield her eyes.
“Ah, what an annoyingly dazzling bastard,”
Li Xingya cursed.
Unlike her own fake, put-on smile meant to save face, Lin Jin’an’s smile was genuine.
She truly enjoyed every moment of being an idol.
“I can’t become like her. No matter how I think about it, it’s impossible.”
Li Xingya gritted her teeth.
‘The moment we meet face-to-face, my fake smile probably won’t last a second before it crumbles.’
‘Have Lin Jin’an help me boost hype after I debut?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘If I actually did that, I’d probably become famous and retire on the same day.’
Li Xingya had to admit that Lin Jin’an deserved her current status, but she couldn’t deny that she really disliked her.
Suddenly, she understood Xia Qi’s behavior a little.
‘Smiling so beautifully—are you deliberately mocking me?’
Li Xingya thought to herself.
When the clock struck ten, she slowly drifted off to sleep.
***
The next morning at seven o’clock, September 10th, Thursday.
Today, Li Xingya still didn’t see Jiang Chiyue.
When she was about to leave, all she found on the dining table was an opened bottle of foreign liquor—Li Xingya didn’t recognize the brand.
‘That bottle wasn’t here yesterday.’
‘Did Jiang Chiyue sneak out to drink while I was asleep?’
Li Xingya raised an eyebrow.
In the end, she found a yellow sticky note and a pen in the living room where Jiang Chiyue usually worked.
Then, silently, she wrote a message and stuck it on the half-empty bottle.
[Drink less alcohol. It’s bad for you, you know—]
Up to that point, Li Xingya’s hand holding the pen hesitated.
Even though she was annoyed, she still wrote the rest.
[Drink less alcohol. It’s bad for you, you know—from Sister Li Xingya]
“Tch.”
‘Just consider it concern for a drunkard.’
‘If I’d written it under my current identity, Jiang Chiyue would probably have been provoked into finishing the other half.’
At that thought, Li Xingya’s usual sullen expression on her way to school turned into a grimace.
“Sigh.”
‘A little meddling now and then shouldn’t be a problem.’
Get in the car.
Arrive at the school gate.
Get out.
Meng Yiqiao was waiting for her at the entrance as usual.
But for some reason, today she looked unusually… excited?
No.
It wasn’t just her.
Everyone around was excited.
Students from the Performing Arts Department huddled together, chattering about something.
Students from the General Studies Department were all busily adjusting their cameras, as if something worth documenting was about to happen today.
“Big Sister, what’s going on?”
Meng Yiqiao’s speech was faster than usual:
“Xiao Ya, you don’t know yet?”
“Know what?”
“Principal Lu invited Lady Lin Jin’an. It’s said she’s coming to the academy this afternoon to put on a performance.”
Meng Yiqiao took Li Xingya’s hand.
“Starseeing Academy has been preparing for this for a month, but Lady Lin Jin’an’s schedule has always been too packed. Until today, she suddenly said she had time!”
‘Lady Lin Jin’an.’
‘That title is a bit nauseating.’
Li Xingya suppressed her discomfort and put on her usual sweet smile:
“Lin Jin’an is coming? That’s really exciting.”
‘So why on earth is she coming?’
‘I wonder what the reason is.’
‘Ah, whatever. Why do I care?’
‘It can’t be because of me, can it?’