Tears and Cold Sweat soaked through her clothes, caking them with dust.
Pain—everywhere hurt. The oppressive heat was unbearable, and everything before her eyes blurred.
Ye Xingmian felt that maybe today, she was going to die.
What does dying feel like? Would she become a soul, drifting off to heaven or hell? Or would she simply return to nothingness, like falling asleep?
Perhaps it was the latter.
She gently hugged her aching legs to her chest, curling herself into a ball, and softly closed her eyes.
A cold, high fever. The frigid floor radiated body heat, and the unending pain from distant thrown balls kept slamming into her.
She really was burning up.
In the end, what was all this for?
Was it just to endure until the college entrance exam ended, to see her mother one more time and bring this torment to a close?
Was it so that life might not be quite so torturous, might get a little better?
So she wouldn’t have to get up early to cook breakfast, wouldn’t have to endure the scornful glances of her foster parents and everyone else, wouldn’t have to let herself be beaten in some unknown corner.
But—so what?
What was the meaning of survival? Was it just to taste those fleeting moments of happiness, to endure endless suffering, and in the end vanish into dust, like riding a one-way express, boarding, alighting, leaving nothing behind?
Was it worth it?
Tears continued to flow, her body trembling in agony.
“You can’t play dead, you know. If you don’t at least try to catch the ball, the game will never end, right?”
From afar came Qin Haiyue’s lofty voice. Even if she caught the ball, would the other party really let her go? The girl already knew the answer: No.
It would only bring her even greater harm, only bring the other more pleasure.
She didn’t want to move anymore. There was not a shred of strength left in her body, and even her thoughts grew sluggish. She wanted to use this as her silent rebellion.
“Mm? Didn’t you hear me?”
Speaking of which, her mother—did she really love her?
If she did, how could she allow her to be hurt like this? If she did, how could she bear to leave her here alone to suffer?
Was that distant and unrealistic hope really worth her longing?
Die, a voice seemed to say from deep within her heart.
Even if it was just to escape this torment, even if it was just to no longer endure those scornful looks.
Even if it was just to be free from this moment of pain.
The light in the girl’s eyes was fading, her crystalline pink irises becoming hollow and empty.
“Bang!” Another ball suddenly slammed into her.
Where did it hit? She couldn’t tell. The pain that came from her body was faint, as if the pitcher’s strength had waned.
The girl didn’t cry out; she never was one to beg for mercy. Nor did she look at her tormentor again; only that thin, small body continued to tremble instinctively.
She felt herself slipping into a strange state, as if all the pain in her body was no longer her concern. The agony was still being honestly relayed to her mind, yet she seemed like a bystander, looking down upon everything she was experiencing.
Qin Haiyue walked up beside her, peering down with a puzzled expression.
“What’s wrong with you?”
It was as if her little toy had broken, motionless now, and she decided to come over for a look.
Hearing the question, the girl opened her eyes, but still only stared blankly ahead, not looking at Qin Haiyue.
“Hey.”
Qin Haiyue frowned impatiently and slapped the girl’s cheek.
“Don’t play dead, did you hear me? You managed to find someone to shield you before, but now you don’t even dare look at me?”
She muttered something the girl barely understood, and seeing that she still gave no response, Qin Haiyue clicked her tongue irritably. She pulled off her dust-stained gloves and tossed them aside, then crouched down and viciously grabbed the girl’s hair, yanking her upright.
“Ugh…”
The sharp pain from her scalp stabbed through her mind, making her instinctively frown.
“Speak! Are you mute?”
Occasionally, when Qin Haiyue’s fingers brushed her skin, she could feel the girl’s shocking fever. For a moment, Qin Haiyue worried that her newly selected little toy’s brain might have been fried.
However, what the girl did next far exceeded her expectations.
Her body swayed gently, and her lips curved in a faint smile.
Still able to smile at a time like this? Qin Haiyue was just about to get angry, when she suddenly felt her other wrist being gently gripped.
She looked down in surprise. Two pale, slender hands, delicate and cautious, were holding her wrist, then raising it up between their gazes. The thin, fragile fingers patiently pried open her hand, shaping it into a grasping gesture.
Then, the girl placed it on her own fair, slender neck.
Through her palm, Qin Haiyue could feel the girl’s burning temperature, her blue veins pulsing with her heartbeat. Once it was all set, the girl’s hand pressed even harder, fixing Qin Haiyue’s grip onto her neck.
Because she had given up hope for life, her smile was relaxed and carefree.
Her voice was hoarse, and every word brought honest pain to her throat.
“Hey…”
Her eyes were empty, but somehow expectant. The girl’s voice was like torn cotton.
“Please, kill me…”
“……”
Time seemed to freeze at that moment.
Looking at the girl before her, Qin Haiyue’s breathing grew more and more rapid. For some reason, a fierce excitement surged in her heart.
Her eyes sparkled. The hand around the girl’s throat suddenly tightened, pinning Ye Xingmian to the floor, her other hand still holding her upright by the hair.
“You think I don’t dare kill you, hmm?”
Her right hand tightened further, and soon the girl’s face twisted in pain from suffocation. Her body instinctively struggled, her weak hands feebly grasping Qin Haiyue’s, but there was little strength.
She gave no answer, only silently closed her eyes.
Qin Haiyue did not loosen her grip, but neither did she squeeze harder. In truth, she was in a state of inner turmoil.
Just now, the girl’s desperate look was too beautiful, making her addicted, wanting to see that expression again, yet afraid she might really kill her by accident.
“Come on, open your eyes.”
She ordered, but the girl did not obey. She squeezed harder, and sure enough, the girl opened her tear-blurred eyes.
The smile was long gone. She was only waiting for Qin Haiyue to grant her a swift end.
“You really want to die, is that it? Come on, answer me.”
“……” The girl said nothing.
“I’m telling you, impossible. I not only won’t let you die, I’ll lock you up, put you in a cage, make you beg me every day, make you…”
Perhaps she was too excited; her words became disjointed. She completely failed to notice the faint sound of footsteps coming from outside. She grabbed the girl and was about to leave with her.
To fake someone’s disappearance—especially a little girl with no one to care for her, who had suddenly changed even her gender—was far too easy for someone rich and powerful like her. She instantly began imagining how she’d lock her in her own basement, how to torment her, how to make her keep showing that exquisite expression for her pleasure.
Oh, right, she’d have to prevent her from committing suicide. That was easy—tie up her hands and feet, and pad the room with cushions.
But, as the sound of the door lock turning echoed out, her daydream had to come to an end.
Cold, pale light poured in through the opened door, along with a chilly breeze that lifted Qin Haiyue’s golden hair.
She turned in surprise toward the door, and in her gaze appeared—
A girl who looked much shorter than herself, with long, straight black hair. She was panting, one hand bracing herself against the door frame, the other holding a whole ring of keys she’d just borrowed from the teacher.