– It’s a fact that he was cute when he was young, but he’s been giving off a weird vibe since some point. His eyes are like a dead fish, lol.
– I’ve been keeping my mouth shut because everyone’s been hyping him up lately, but people who’ve been into the acting scene for a long time know. His reputation was really bad.
– He was famous for being rude during his idol days and had attitude controversies, but a lot of people don’t know? That means his agency did a lot of media play, lol.
– He can’t act. Everyone around me was freaking out, I never understood why people liked him.
All the effort I’ve put in, my acting, will all be denied.
The thought made my jaw clench.
I don’t care what they say about anything else.
Insult my looks, my personality?
I don’t think I’m a great person either, so it’s fine.
But… acting, at least acting.
‘Senior? You have to act like a senior to be treated like one. Your only notable work is something you did when you were a kid. Aren’t you ashamed to call yourself an actor?’
‘Hey! Do it right! Everyone knows you’re crawling back to the acting scene because you failed as an idol. You should be ashamed. You think acting is easy?!’
‘If you’re going to keep acting, let’s just cut ties. You’re not my child from today.’
How did I even get there?
But, what if this is also a trap?
The man said he chose those with strong desires among the dead, but my desires were just the kind that ordinary people have.
To succeed doing what I love.
‘I might get choked again.’
If I’m going to suffer anyway, shouldn’t I at least know why?
“But why me of all people? Desires like mine… everyone must have them.”
[You underestimate yourself.]
[Didn’t you desperately hold on? Everyone was cursing you, looking at you with prejudice… Even suspecting that a powerful figure was suppressing you.]
“…!”
[He said he liked that about you.]
At this point, it would be ridiculous to ask how he knew all that.
‘He knows everything about my life.’
It was a thought close to certainty.
“…I understand.”
As soon as I finished speaking, a message window popped up in front of me.
[God, ‘Butterfly Wingbeat’ is pleased with your excellent choice!]
“Butterfly Wingbeat?”
A new name was written in the window that appeared before my eyes.
“This… person is my sponsor… no, my patron god? Is that it?”
[Yes.]
The man was silent for a moment, then suddenly sighed softly.
[Those who exist as mere souls in the Transcendental Realm can be annihilated if they hear or speak the true name of a god. That’s why we use epithets. It will be the same from now on.]
‘Is that settled?’
The man muttered quietly, then looked at me again.
[The god who chose you is a god of the so-called Archetypal Realm, one of the highest in this Transcendental Realm. The benefits you can receive are correspondingly great. Simply put, you can make two wishes.]
“Wishes… anything is possible?”
[Of course, only to the extent that it helps you return to the Mortal Realm and realize your desires.]
‘Two wishes, huh.’
Come to think of it, when I appeared earlier, he said something like, ‘Is that what you want?’
At that time, I muttered, ‘It’s not like I can turn back time…’
Putting the man’s words together, this is ultimately a competition.
My desire is, without a doubt, to become a successful actor.
Two years from now, I need to wish for what I need to become the most successful actor.
‘It’s simple.’
“First, my first wish is to send me back to March of the year I turned 25. And the second… this is a bit difficult to say specifically…….”
– Kim Jae-ha seems to be too affected by the characters he plays.
– I guess he lacks empathy, so he can’t immerse himself in situations he doesn’t know, lol.
The limitation I felt while acting.
That was, no matter how much I immersed myself in a role, I was ultimately still me.
It was too difficult to express emotions I hadn’t experienced.
It would be different if I had decent empathy or immersion skills, but unfortunately, I wasn’t very good at either.
“I wish I had the ability to express emotions I haven’t experienced better, and to easily immerse myself in unfamiliar situations…….”
Did I say it right?
I looked at the man with a vaguely uneasy feeling, but I couldn’t read anything on his face.
[God, ‘Butterfly Wingbeat’ is organizing your wishes and submitting them for approval!]
A message window popped up, but I became even more anxious.
Organized them?
Submitting them for approval?
Does this place run on a company system too?
But my thoughts couldn’t continue.
Beep, beep, beep-
Suddenly, an alarm sounded and a message window popped up right in front of me.
[00:00:04]
Ah, I guess time’s up.
Suddenly, my vision began to blur.
Before my vision completely faded, a message window urgently appeared before my eyes.
‘This is…! Are you crazy?!’
Before I could protest, I lost consciousness.
When I opened my eyes, I was in a space that was both unfamiliar and familiar.
It was definitely the studio apartment I had rented near the university after being discharged from the military.
I blinked blankly, feeling strangely dazed.
‘Maybe it was all a dream.’
The Transcendental Realm, the Resurrection Project, gods.
Stories that seemed like they came straight out of the fantasy novels I briefly read as a child were the reality I had directly experienced.
Wouldn’t it be more foolish to believe this?
Even as I thought that, I slowly got up.
Thud, something fell.
‘What is it?’
I shifted my gaze and saw a cell phone on the floor.
A clunky smartphone whose model I didn’t even remember properly.
I remembered using the cheapest phone I could find because I was broke after being discharged from the military.
I hadn’t realized it, but it seemed I had opened my eyes while holding the phone.
I slowly reached out and grabbed the phone.
A heavy sensation gave me goosebumps for no reason.
When I turned on the screen, I saw the number March 1st.
I checked the calendar with a trembling hand and realized it was 2017.
‘It’s not a dream.’
A firm conviction settled in my heart.
It was so unwavering that it seemed like self-hypnosis or self-rationalization.
Perhaps the past me would have found it difficult to understand this.
I wasn’t the type to like fantasy, nor was I the type to genuinely believe in the existence of an unreal world.
The reason why I, of all people, was accepting this situation was one thing.
‘Because I want to believe it.’
I know it’s absurd and ridiculous, but who cares?
I’ve been given another chance.
If I do well, I can keep living.
I definitely died.
I will never forget the moment of death.
Moreover, I was falsely accused of school violence, and my career, which I had painstakingly built, was on the verge of being completely ruined.
And I even turned back time to make it as if it never happened.
At this point, it would be more absurd not to believe this situation.
“I’m back.”
My voice echoed in the small room.
Just like when I felt death in the Transcendental Realm, a sense of reality rushed in.
***
In 2017, when I was 25, I had just finished my military service and returned to university not long after.
Neither I nor the situation had changed much, but I had the vain hope that I would finally make a name for myself as an actor.
It was because I was captivated by the sense of liberation that came with being discharged and the word “restart.”
I hadn’t been exposed to the media for two years, so I could appeal to a new image.
I thought that if I re-signed with the agency after being discharged, it would be a real debut this time.
I was also completely swayed by the words of an official from Blue Night Entertainment, with whom I had a contract before enlisting.
But, in the end, I won’t be able to renew my contract with Blue Night and will be abandoned.
‘First of all, I need to cut ties with Blue Night first.’
If my memory is correct, I re-signed with Blue Night Entertainment before returning to the entertainment industry after being discharged.
I searched the house for the contract to confirm if my memory was accurate.
The remaining period until expiration was one month.
The agency will probably contact me soon to draw up a renewal contract.
‘I need to settle things then.’
It’s not like I don’t have an excuse.
By now, rumors about that audition must have spread in the industry.
<Casting with My Own Hands!>,It was a public audition program for the remake of the national rom-com drama <Florist Amelia>.
Which was a smash hit 10 years ago, and it adopted the format of the idol audition programs that were popular at the time.
The roles for the lead and significant supporting characters, a total of 6 positions, were decided by viewer votes.
The unique thing was that they divided it into male actor and female actor editions.
I don’t know what calculations they made to do it that way, but the male actor edition was successful, and the female actor edition also became successful.
This was because the composition and editing of the male actor edition were almost identical to the format of idol audition programs, so it produced a lot of so-called “otakus.”
‘They probably divided it by gender, not mixed, aiming for that.’
Before my regression, I also heard about this audition and hoped to apply.
As soon as I brought it up, the agency stopped me.
‘They said things like, “Are you trying to turn the acting scene into an idol scene?” and that the industry insiders didn’t have a good opinion of it, so they wouldn’t send their actors out.’
I naively believed those words.
Until I discovered an actor from the same Blue Night agency as me in the first episode I watched out of curiosity.
‘No, what can I do when he’s begging me to let him go? And Jae-ha, are you questioning what the higher-ups in the company decided? The people who accepted you and are trying their best to help you grow? Your image consumption is already so severe, how difficult do you think it is!’
Well, it was always like that.
The agency won’t be thinking of sending me to <Casting with My Own Hands!>, so I’m going to use that as a reason.
<My Own Casting> allowed unaffiliated general participants to apply.
‘At this point, I’m almost like a regular person. The agency won’t tie me down by using petty tricks. They’ll just curse me behind my back and let me go.’
I have two years.
To achieve dazzling success in order to win that ridiculous project, there is no better opportunity than <My Own Casting> when looking back on the time I’ve spent.
‘I have to appear no matter what.’
The application period is probably… from mid-March, I think.
Just in case, I logged into the portal site and checked the list of cafes I had joined, and I saw a cafe for aspiring actors that was quite well-known among aspiring actors.
When I accessed it and clicked on the audition announcement category, I immediately saw the name I was looking for at the top.
<Casting with My Own Hands! Recruiting General Participants for Audition>
-Experienced people who are unaffiliated and those with experience as trainees at entertainment companies can apply.
‘As expected, it was possible.’
The application period was quite short, only about 2 weeks.
When applying, I had to send a self-introduction letter and a self-PR video together.
– The content should be composed to prove acting ability and talent.
‘It might be a bit tight to prepare while going to school.’
For a moment, the thought of asking to be sent back to February instead of March when coming to the past crossed my mind, but I quickly erased it.
March.
Considering the twists and turns I went through before coming to this studio apartment under the pretext of starting school, it was a wise decision.
I swallowed the rising sigh and checked my phone.
Among the simple apps, just like my thirty-year-old phone, the timetable app caught my eye.
Fortunately, the timetable for this semester was entered.
“School…….”
Yes, a returning student has to go to school.
‘A list of cafes’? Is that slang for something? On social media…?
It’s like a Community group for actors.