Chapter 191: Dissolve: His Last Choice

Song Hyunsoo set two cocktails on the tray and crossed the hall of ‘Jessica’.

Almost every table was occupied.

This time on a Saturday was always the busiest of the week, but even so, he’d never seen it this crowded before.

Song Hyunsoo stopped in front of table B-12.

It was the same table where Yoon Jooho had first visited ‘Jessica’.

“I’ll bring out the cocktails you ordered now.”

“Wow, look at those colors. They’re like jewels!”

“Did you make them yourself, Actor?”

Yes. Most of the customers at ‘Jessica’ on Saturday nights had come after hearing the rumor that ‘Actor Song Hyunsoo’ worked here.

To be more precise, it would be right to say they were Yoon Jooho’s fans, wanting to see the ‘only person Yoon Jooho follows’.

The title ‘Actor’ still felt awkward and embarrassing, but Song Hyunsoo put on his business smile and displayed his trademark charm.

“Of course. These two cocktails are the ones I’m most confident in. I hope you’ll like them.”

Coincidentally, the cocktails the two had ordered were ‘Kiss of Fire’ and ‘Sex on the Beach’.

The first was the cocktail he’d made for Jung Jin at Yoon Jooho’s birthday party, and the latter was the one he’d confessed to Yoon Jooho with, quoting a line from <Notting Hill>.

What a coincidence…

The customer who’d ordered the ‘Kiss of Fire’ asked cautiously.

“Um, sorry to bother you while you’re working, but… Would it be alright to take a photo with you?”

“If it’s not possible, you can say no!”

Song Hyunsoo readily agreed.

“Our bar’s Manager actually encourages staff to take photos with guests. I’m always grateful when you ask.”

The three of them took a commemorative photo in selfie mode and had a brief chat.

They’d started following Song Hyunsoo after seeing him on Yoon Jooho’s SNS.

“By the way, those cats you posted on SNS—how are they doing?”

“The one with the spot next to its nose. I think that one was left?”

“Ah… I never posted an update, but that little one was also adopted by a wonderful owner, fortunately.”

“That’s a relief!”

Yes, it was adopted into an amazing home, and its whole life turned around.

Now it’s living surrounded by luxurious toys in a Han River View Penthouse.

With none other than Yoon Jooho as its owner.

“Is it okay to tag you and the bar’s location on SNS when we post the picture?”

“Of course. Our Manager will be thrilled.”

As he returned to the bar counter, cheerful voices floated after him.

“He looks even better in person,” “Taller than I thought,” “Such a nice personality,” “So cute,” and so on…

He’d rarely received this kind of attention as an actor, so even as he felt shy, he couldn’t help but smile.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Song Hyunsoo set the tray down on the counter and spoke to the grinning Manager.

“Manager, I’m taking a quick break.”

“Oh, sure, sure. Our Actor Song, you need to take a good rest.”

Just a few months ago, this Manager had always found Song Hyunsoo to be a thorn in his side, but now he openly doted on him.

When Song Hyunsoo gave a little laugh, the Manager laughed as well.

Song Hyunsoo took off his apron and slipped out the back door through the kitchen.

He bundled up in his padded jacket and lit a cigarette.

Between the narrow strip of sky above, the signs of the billiard hall, PC Room, and Hof were still visible.

But now, that view didn’t feel like a barrier keeping him trapped anymore.

If anything, he was already starting to feel a bit nostalgic for it.

One day, he would leave ‘Jessica’ completely and step into a life entirely different from this.

After a couple of drags, Song Hyunsoo took out his phone.

The smile he wore while looking at Yoon Jooho’s message slowly faded.

He scrolled through the call log.

His last call with Jung Jin was already weeks ago.

Though they’d exchanged the occasional text, it was the first time since Jung Jin had left for France that they’d gone this long without talking on the phone.

He was conscious of it, felt bothered by it…

But mostly, he just hadn’t been sure how to face him.

He didn’t want to call with such unsettled feelings, didn’t want to reveal crooked jealousy or insecurity.

He didn’t want to hurt Jung Jin or ruin their relationship.

『“Just look at me. Just think about how much I love you.”』

Yoon Jooho’s words had been the final blow.

Don’t get swept up in an unchangeable past—just focus on the love I feel for you now, he’d pleaded.

Even the lingering unease in the corner of his heart seemed to melt away with those words.

Fiddling with the screen as he scrolled up and down, Song Hyunsoo finally steeled himself and tapped Jung Jin’s name.

It was around 3 p.m. in Paris right now.

Maybe he was at acting practice or working out.

He must know everything now—what if it’s awkward?

As he nervously inhaled the filtered smoke, the call connected.

[Hey, Hyunsoo!]

It was the same cheerful voice as always.

Song Hyunsoo felt both grateful and sorry.

“Hyung.”

[You’re not busy? Can you talk?]

“I had the day off from filming today, so I worked a shift at ‘Jessica’.”

[You’re even working on your day off? Aren’t you pushing yourself too hard?]

“I still need to earn some pocket money. And I want to keep making cocktails.”

[That’s good. You won’t be able to do part-time jobs like that once you get famous.]

“You’re assuming I’ll get famous as an actor.”

[Why wouldn’t you? You’ve got solid acting skills, strong mentality, and now, someone dependable backing you up.]

Someone dependable backing you up.

Tapping the cigarette to knock off the ash, Song Hyunsoo spoke more seriously.

“Hyung, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch often.”

[Don’t be sorry. It’s just because you’ve been busy. This is the time to focus on your work.]

“It’s not that… I… I was avoiding you.”

[…]

“It’s not because I dislike you—I just… was afraid I’d mess up.”

Jung Jin listened quietly, then replied with careful words.

[I feel the same, Hyunsoo.]

“……”

[I also…]

Jung Jin’s voice shook from across the line.

Song Hyunsoo was startled.

To him, Jung Jin was someone who never wavered or crumbled, no matter what.

[I was afraid I’d lose you because of this.]

Suddenly, tears pricked his eyes.

He had to tense his nose and mouth to keep from crying.

[I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away when I found out you were dating Yoon Jooho.]

Knowing Jung Jin wouldn’t be able to see, Song Hyunsoo still shook his head vigorously.

“Don’t say that, hyung. You said Sunbae threatened you not to tell. And honestly… if I’d heard about it from you instead of Jooho Sunbae, it would’ve been even more of a shock. You were right not to say anything. That was something Sunbae had to tell me himself.”

[I’m sure you’ve already heard from Yoon Jooho, but really, nothing romantic happened between us.]

“I know.”

[You saw it yourself, living at the dorm—he and I didn’t even meet that often.]

With eyes brimming with tears, Song Hyunsoo gave a small laugh.

“Hyung, why are you trying so hard to explain?”

He could hear Jung Jin’s laugh from the other end.

[It’s just… the way Yoon Jooho threatened me not to tell you was really desperate.]

“……”

[I was surprised—someone would go that far, even lie, out of fear of losing someone. I’ve never seen that side of him before. But it made me realize how sincere he is about you, so I felt reassured. And I was also surprised to learn you two are actually dating, that it’s mutual.]

“Sorry, hyung. I should have told you sooner.”

[Considering who’s involved, it’s not an easy thing to bring up. It’s Yoon Jooho, and it’s a same-sex relationship…]

“Hearing that there was something between you and Sunbae… that was a shock.”

He could sense Jung Jin’s uneasy breathing on the other end.

“But I’ve realized something too.”

Yet, Song Hyunsoo felt more at ease than ever.

He could speak his truth more comfortably than ever before.

“No matter what, Yoon Jooho is someone I can’t give up, even if I have to get over all that.”

It wasn’t even something he was saying to Yoon Jooho himself.

It was strange to be saying something this embarrassing to a third party, and he ducked his head, a little sheepish.

Meeting and parting had never been all that complicated.

A relationship this tangled and desperate, not wanting to let each other go—this was a first for Song Hyunsoo, too.

[Hyunsoo.]

Jung Jin’s voice carried the resolve of someone who had made up his mind.

[Remember how I said, if you ever come to Paris, there’s someone I want you to meet?]

“Yes.”

[It’s my partner.]

“What? Really? You got a lover over there? Wow, congratulations!”

[Uh… actually… I moved over here from Korea to be with this person.]

“You… You came together from here??”

[Sorry I couldn’t tell you before. That person is kind of known, and also… since we’re a same-sex couple, it’s not easy to talk about it.]

Song Hyunsoo felt like he understood why Jung Jin was bringing this up now.

No matter what had happened between himself and Yoon Jooho, it was all just the past for both of them now, and maybe Jung Jin wanted to show that.

Song Hyunsoo took a last drag of his cigarette and smiled faintly.

“I’m glad, hyung.”

[Hm?]

“It’s lonely, trying to live alone in a foreign country. I’m glad you have someone you love by your side.”

He was able to say that sincerely, and truly smile.

And he was glad for that, too.

“Hyung, don’t hesitate to contact me from now on. I’ll do the same.”

[Okay.]

“I don’t want to lose you over all this.”

[Me neither.]

“And there’s something I want to tell you in advance.”

[What is it?]

“Something’s going to happen soon. Don’t be too shocked or worried.”

[What do you mean, something’s going to happen…]

Jung Jin’s voice immediately tensed.

He and Song Hyunsoo had experienced the loss of Choi Hongseo together.

They knew too well that even small incidents could have big impacts for people whose names and faces were known.

“It’s more about Jooho Sunbae than me. We all know what’s going on, and we’ve got everything planned out. So whatever comes up, don’t be surprised—just wait a little, okay?”

[Did… did Yoon Jooho ask you to come out together? Did you agree?]

Hearing the sincerity in Jung Jin’s voice, Song Hyunsoo couldn’t help but laugh.

“How did you come to that conclusion?”

[Well… just, knowing Yoon Jooho, he totally seems like the type.]

It felt strangely nice that even to others, Yoon Jooho and his feelings for him came across so clearly.

Even nicer than being told he looked better in person, or that he was cute.

He lifted his chin and looked up at the sky.

It wasn’t the same pitch-black night of Myeonghaeri—here the sky was pale, with hardly any stars visible—but to Song Hyunsoo, it felt like the same sky.

[Hyunsoo, you’re not getting yourself into something dangerous, right?]

“It’s nothing like that, hyung. This time, I’m just going to face it head-on.”

To go somewhere free and high.

Together with him.

With our own strength.