Chapter 182: Dissolve: His Last Choice

Acting.

If there was one thing that meant the most to him, a value he could never trade for anything else, it was, without question, acting.

Acting was his companion and family, the pillar that supported his life, and the very source of pride for Yoon Jooho as a person.

Because he understood this, Song Hyunsoo couldn’t say a word.

Listening to the sound of the waves, they locked eyes in silence for a while.

With a faint smile, Yoon Jooho added, looking a bit embarrassed.

“And this is, in a way, my reply to someone who once confessed to me through acting.”

The moment he acted out <Notting Hill> with a cocktail in hand came to mind. Song Hyunsoo couldn’t help but give an awkward laugh as well.

Yoon Jooho stood up from his seat and walked toward the wide space behind the heater.

Turning to face Song Hyunsoo, he stopped. Surprisingly, he looked nervous.

“Hm, this is the biggest stage I’ve ever stood on.”

Thinking it was a joke, Song Hyunsoo chuckled. But seeing his still-tense expression, it didn’t seem like he was kidding.

The biggest stage Yoon Jooho had ever stood on.

Because it was in front of me.

Hoo. Letting out a long breath, he shook out his shoulders and wrists. It reminded Song Hyunsoo of an actor loosening up in the Green Room before going on stage.

Right before stepping onto the Stage for a handful of lines, Song Hyunsoo looked just like that.

Finally, Yoon Jooho ran both hands through his hair. Then, in a pleasant, calm voice, he began to speak.

“Imagine me at my very best as an Actor, at the peak of my career.”

“……”

“I find the role I’ve always wanted, give it my all, and finally receive recognition for it. No longer just a Superstar, but Actor Yoon Jooho firmly established. Plenty of money, fame, and, as you can see, a good-looking face—by all accounts, a successful life.”

Song Hyunsoo’s shoulders shook with a giggle at his playful words, and Yoon Jooho smiled back, meeting his eyes.

“The goal I chased, the ideal I dreamed, was always only up to there.”

“……”

“But the moment I stand there, clutching the trophy in a shower of cheers and applause, it suddenly hits me. It’s not as perfect as I imagined it would be.”

“……”

“And then, slipping away from all the dazzling glory, I find myself running off somewhere.”

Yoon Jooho’s projection, the distant gaze at nothing, the pleading gestures…

Song Hyunsoo slowly realized.

Yoon Jooho’s acting, the one he said he’d show, had already begun.

A Monodrama was unfolding right before Song Hyunsoo’s eyes.

“I get out of the taxi and stop in front of a house, looking for you through the window.”

Gone was the earlier nervousness—he was now wholly absorbed, slowly walking across the “Stage,” acting as he went.

“I see a Christmas Tree sparkling with lights, and hear the lively chatter of people inside.”

“……”

“You, smiling and talking with others, sharing the warmth that used to be mine with them. I stop for a moment, just watching you.”

“……”

“As if trying to carve into myself the pain of what I’ve lost.”

Song Hyunsoo couldn’t even think to sip the coffee in his hand, drawn further and further into the story.

“I muster my courage, open the door, and step inside. There are lots of people sitting in the living room, but I don’t see you. To get their attention, I speak. Uh, hello. Hello.”

Suddenly, the acting shifted from monologue to dialogue.

“I’m looking for my boyfriend. Oh, more precisely, my ex.”

It was unmistakably a line referencing Song Hyunsoo’s emphasis on ‘ex, boy, friend.’ As the sole audience of this drama, Song Hyunsoo let out a small laugh, careful not to interrupt the scene.

“You, who were picking something up behind the sofa, slowly rise and face me. The people who had been chattering all go quiet at once. I set my big suitcase down on the floor, and like someone desperate to prove their innocence, I open my arms toward you. I’m terrified you might not even want to hear me out, afraid you’ll reject me before I can say a word I prepared… I’m going crazy with anxiety.”

Now, Song Hyunsoo could even guess what scene Yoon Jooho was acting out.

Yoon Jooho’s gaze, which had been aimed at empty air, now carefully found Song Hyunsoo. Still holding his hands up, cautiously.

“If this is the place where everything needs to happen, then yes, I’ll say it all to you here and now.”

“……”

“I’ll make sure you can never leave me. What do you think?”

The movie was <Jerry Maguire>.

One of the old movies they watched together when they lived together.

“Yeah, that’s right. I always ran away and hid. No matter what happened, I’d isolate myself, pretend nothing was important, and eventually convince myself I was fine. But this time…”

He placed both hands on his waist and bowed his head deeply. Then, shaking it.

“With you, I don’t think I can.”

Though he was acting as Tom Cruise from <Jerry Maguire>, the lines were different.

He was adapting the lines to fit his and Song Hyunsoo’s story.

“Today, I… received an amazing award. Whether it’s the Blue Dragon, Cannes, the Academy, whatever. Dressed in a sharp Tuxedo, I stood on a dazzling Stage, showered in applause. It was the most perfect night of my life. No… it should have been the most perfect night. But I realized. It wasn’t, not at all, not even a little.”

Slowly, Yoon Jooho lifted his gaze to Song Hyunsoo.

His lips parted.

“Because you weren’t there.”

“……”

“You know, I’ve lived in a cold world. But the moment you appeared in my life, everything started to change. Like the Sun melting Winter and bringing forth Spring.”

“……”

“If I don’t have you in my life, it’s not perfection minus you.”

“……”

“It’s a failure.”

“……”

“Because you’re what completes me.”

You complete me.

That was Tom Cruise’s final line in this scene.

Finishing his line, Yoon Jooho just stood there, staring at Song Hyunsoo.

His arms hung at his sides, no pose, no expression—nothing cool or dramatic. No lies, no exaggeration, no armor.

It felt like he was standing bare before him.

Now, as Yoon Jooho himself, he spoke.

“If I’m a Christmas Tree, you’re the star on top. If I’m a singer, you’re my hit song. If my life is the Harry Potter Series, then you’re ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.’ If I’m an Artist, then you’re my Signature. The mark that proves it’s my own work, not a copy.”

A smile formed on Song Hyunsoo’s lips. But before he knew it, tears had welled up in his eyes. Yoon Jooho gave him a blurry smile as he slowly approached.

“You’re the Actor I want to share the Stage with for life, my dangerously sexy Bibitan, Monroe’s Little Uncle, and the yellow, sweet… my Peach.”

This time, Song Hyunsoo laughed out loud. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Stopping at Song Hyunsoo’s feet, Yoon Jooho lowered himself without hesitation onto one knee.

He took the Mug from Song Hyunsoo’s hand, set it on the table, and wiped away his tears.

“You’re precious to me, Song Hyunsoo.”

“……”

“I’m upset that I’m no longer your boyfriend. More than upset—I’m sad, anxious, and angry.”

“……”

“I don’t want to lose you to anyone.”

Yoon Jooho slightly pulled up his left sleeve. Glancing down at the Watch glinting faintly in the darkness, he continued.

“When you put this Watch on me, you said that.”

“……”

“Not to sit quietly when someone tries to take what’s mine. That you, you’re mine.”

He clearly remembered saying that to Yoon Jooho.

『“If something’s precious, say it’s precious. If you’re upset, say you’re upset. If you don’t want to lose it, say so. Tell everything, live like that.”』

Like an alien learning human language for the first time.

Just like a child, he was parroting Song Hyunsoo’s words right back to him.

Yoon Jooho gently played with Song Hyunsoo’s hand resting atop the Blanket.

The careful way his fingers stroked the back of Song Hyunsoo’s hand, between the thumb and forefinger, was almost painfully tender.

“Don’t abandon me.”

“……”

“Take pity on me, Hyunsoo.”

His feelings were more honest than any words. Hot new tears streamed down cold cheeks. Yoon Jooho’s hand reached out to wipe away the tears.