Lukewarm water… Can I just mix hot water with cold water?
I filled a cup with water from the purifier.
I poured whiskey into the glass first, then slowly added lukewarm water from the cup until it was about half full.
How much should I even add?
“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you? It’s gotten worse since this movie was confirmed. The hospital… Maybe you should… go…”
Yoon Jooho paused mid-motion while mixing the whiskey and rolled his eyes to glance at Bang Isa.
“Alright, alright. I won’t bring up the hospital again, if that’s what you want.”
“How can I trust doctors who go around leaking patients’ private lives?”
“Not all doctors are like that.”
“Three of them did. Is it worth taking the risk?”
Only then did Bang Isa click his tongue in reluctant agreement and shut his mouth.
Insomnia had been Yoon Jooho’s lifelong companion.
Whenever stress weighed on him, the symptoms worsened, pushing him to his limits.
About a year ago, after finishing the drama <Eternal Night>, he took his first long break since debut.Â
Back then, life had been somewhat bearable.
There were even nights when he slept a full seven hours straight without waking.
For a moment, he thought he might finally be free.
But this old friend hadn’t forgotten him— it came back.
He had once considered seeking treatment at a hospital.
When his life became nothing but fitful naps in the car for over two weeks, anyone would crave some kind of prescription.
But neither sleeping pills nor sleep inducers worked well for him.
They were nothing more than a last resort, a desperate measure when pushed to the edge.
“What can I do? It’s Yoon Jooho’s private life. I get why you’re itching to talk about it.”
Yoon Jooho shrugged and raised the glass to eye level.
At least the color looked decent.
“Why do you talk about it like it’s someone else’s business?”
“I knew you’d react like this, so I didn’t even bring up the real issues at the hospital.”
“Then how can you get proper treatment?”
“Hyung, if I had told them everything, we’d really have been done for back then.”
“……”
Bang Isa stayed silent because Yoon Jooho was right.
“What’s the point of going to the hospital if I can’t even talk about what’s really bothering me?”
“At the very least, you could get a prescription.”
“Whenever I take pills, I wake up feeling worse.”
“But at least you’d get five or six hours of sleep, wouldn’t you?”
“Anyway, I’m not at the point where I need meds yet.”
He had been diagnosed with mental health issues and gone through counseling.
But some of what he shared during sessions leaked out, and reporters started calling— asking if they could publish this and that about actor Yoon Jooho.
It wasn’t anything too serious, but it wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted out there. It cost him some money to stop it.
Though the articles were blocked, rumors couldn’t be contained.
For a while, all sorts of gossip circulated on YouTube.
But whether the public heard it through YouTube or an official news article made a big difference.
Stopping the articles was absolutely the right call.
Still, his parents were furious, lashing out at him.
“Why go to the hospital when you could’ve just taken zolpidem to sleep? Counseling? You still don’t get what it means to be a top star.”
Even Bang Isa, who had recommended the hospital out of concern, wasn’t spared their scathing reprimands.
“Those damn bastards. We should’ve sued them back then.”
Bang Isa muttered angrily.
“Twenty years in the industry as a manager, and that’s the best insult you’ve got?”
Yoon Jooho smirked at Bang Isa and took a sip of the whiskey he’d mixed.
The color was fine, but the taste was awful— flat and dull, nothing fit to drink. He dumped the liquid down the sink.
“It’s harder than I thought.”
He grabbed a fresh glass, added ice, and poured whiskey straight.
The display cabinet was stocked with all kinds of alcohol— cocktail ingredients, wines of various price ranges— but he wasn’t a connoisseur.
He hadn’t set up this room out of deep appreciation for liquor, either.
The place was too big for one person, with more than enough empty space.
He just wanted a spot where he could sprawl out recklessly.
He drank soju, beer, wine, whiskey— anything.
Probably because he never learned to drink properly.
As long as it got him drunk, as long as it helped him pass out, anything was fine.
“Give me a glass too.”
Bang Isa got up from the sofa and walked toward the bar.
“Isn’t drinking in the middle of the day bad?”
“Talking about those damn doctors makes me want a drink.”
Yoon Jooho took out another glass, added some ice, and repeated the whiskey-pouring ritual.
Across from him, Director Bang, who was leaning on the bar with his arm, asked worriedly.
“If you really can’t sleep, should I crash here? Want me to sleep with you?”
“Hmm… I could go for guys, but you’re way out of my type. Sorry.”
“Don’t joke around, man.”
“What do you mean, sleep with me? I’m not some kid scared of ghosts who can’t sleep alone.”
“You need the TV on to fall asleep, that’s pretty kid-like.”
“……”
“And it has to be a variety show.”
Yoon Jooho handed Bang a glass and narrowed his eyes, grinning as he gestured at his lower half.
“You’ve seen in the sauna I’m not exactly a kid, hyung.”
“With that face of yours, please don’t say lines like that.”
Jooho came out from behind the bar and slung an arm around Bang’s shoulder despite his frown.
He then deliberately smiled even more annoyingly, clearly to mess with him.
“What kind of line? One that implies I’ve got a big dick?”
Director Bang recoiled in disgust and scrambled away.
Collapsing onto a black leather sofa, he let out a deep sigh and shook his head.
“Ha… When we first met, you were so cute. Who would’ve thought that adorable little guy would grow up into such a filthy-mouthed man.”
“Filthy? Wasn’t I supposed to be the best in Korea?”
“You are! As an actor, you’re the best.”
Even while criticizing Jooho for being vulgar, Bang never denied that he was the best actor.
Seeing that, Jooho’s lips twitched into a smug grin as he sat on the sofa across from him.
“But as a man, I’m trash?”
“I do have some standards, you know. I can’t say you’re high-quality in that department.”
“Hyung, that cute kid changed a long time ago. Time to get used to it.”
Jooho had just graduated elementary school when he first met Director Bang— or Bang Sangho.
Jooho’s mother had managed to poach Bang Sangho, who at the time was in his mid-20s and working as a road manager for another company.
Not for his diligence or honesty—
‘At the very least, he’s handsome enough not to make my Jooho look bad standing next to him.’
Despite countless managers quitting or being replaced, Bang stuck around, rising from team leader to director, and eventually becoming an executive at Look Planning.
A legend. People in the industry even joked he must be a living Buddha to have endured Jooho’s notoriously difficult personality for 15 years.
“And if we’re talking old stories, I’ve got stuff to say too, hyung.”
“Like what?”
“There was a time when you had your own fan club, for being the manager who looked better than the celebs.”
“Yeah, well… that was then.”
“Now though… you know what I mean.”
Jooho crossed his legs and sipped his whiskey, looking Bang up and down.
“Somebody broke your heart and left you like this.”
When Bang reacted, Jooho’s smooth face lit up with a satisfied smile.
“Don’t smile like that! Don’t smile like an angel when you’re a damn devil!”
The more agitated Bang got, the more dazzling Jooho’s smile became.
Truth was, even in his 40s, Bang still looked decent.
He had a full head of hair, a kind expression from years of gentle living, and thanks to Jooho dragging him into various workouts, he hadn’t gained a belly.
Jooho just enjoyed teasing him.
“I know. You missed the marriage window taking care of me. That’s why I said I’d take responsibility for you, remember?”
“Don’t say horrifying things like that. The moment I meet my soulmate, I’m cutting ties with you.”
“Anytime.”
Leaning back on the cushion and stretching out his legs, Jooho shrugged.
“I’m picky about who I let in, but I never cling to someone walking away.”
“Oh, please. What about Shanghai? Don’t tell me you forgot.”
“……”
“You ditched your schedule and threw a fit about going to see that actor. That wasn’t Jooho— oh no no…”
Realizing Jooho’s gaze, Bang trailed off and then changed his tone entirely.
“That wasn’t Jooho. That was ‘Bang Jooho’ for a brief moment. You were really tired from <Eternal Night> back then. Yeah, you were under a lot of pressure.”