Chapter 18: Abduction Squad

Huh???

Seven elite enforcers, going after a little girl… and got tossed into a septic tank?

And it was done by the Qilin Master’s classmate—since when did Kangcheng No. 2 High have such powerful students?!

……

Five minutes earlier.

Class Rep, Cluru, and I had just returned to the school gates.

After saying goodbye, Class Rep went to the girls’ dorm, while I headed toward Teacher Xiao Yuan’s place with Cluru.

But right after we split up, a few figures emerged from the shadows.

“Waiting until the Class Rep left before showing yourselves, huh… Come out, I see you.”

“Sharp senses,” said one as they stepped out of the darkness.

Seven people.

All masked, dressed in black, every movement crisp and precise… Specially trained? Assassins? Or mercenaries?

What intense pressure!

“So you’re the Qilin Master? Uncle’s got lots of candy at home—want to come over and visit?”

“……”

Ugh, I just realized something serious.

Do I really… look like the kind of dumb kid who’d fall for such a low-level trick?

“Uncle’s not a bad guy. Come on, Uncle’s here to protect you.”

I can’t—this is just too dumb. Who taught them this kidnapping script?

“This won’t work,” I snapped, losing patience, “Candy is outdated. No kid would follow a stranger just for a lollipop anymore. What you should say is—Uncle’s got a 152-inch mega screen, all the latest gaming consoles, an esports mansion the size of a thousand acres, a GPU that costs more than a car, top-of-the-line gaming phones, unlimited currency top-ups, instant unlocks for all premium skins, one hundred beast-eared maids, and chefs for every cuisine standing by 24/7.”

“……”

The man in black paused to consider.

“I can report those requests. Since you’re the Qilin Master, it might actually go through.”

Pfft—he’s learning! Saying it with such a straight face, like he actually believes it.

“And not just that—until you grow up, you’ll own a private island, with helicopter transport. Hundreds of powerful summoners will be stationed there to protect your safety.”

“……”

So tempting. Even knowing it’s obviously fake, just imagining it makes my heart flutter.

As I was lost in fantasy, a large box suddenly blocked my path.

Cluru carefully lifted a corner of the box, poking her little head out: “Are you here to take her away?”

“Yes. We hope you won’t resist, to avoid injury.”

The seven moved to surround us, cutting off all escape before we even noticed.

Cluru could sense the danger too. Her instincts screamed: these were killers.

But she shook her head firmly:

“No. I won’t allow it.”

“You won’t allow it? There’s no info on you in the report… What’s your relationship with her?” one of them asked, surprised.

Cluru raised her head slightly and pulled me into her arms.

“She’s my woman.”

“What woman?! Don’t make things up!” I flushed red, protesting, “We’ve only known each other for a few days!”

“Six thousand two hundred and twelve days.”

“Nonsense! Just two days! And I’m not your woman!”

“But we’re already married.”

“What?! When did that happen?! I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“I remember clearly. When I proposed, you didn’t say no. I asked if you wanted to grow old with me, and you didn’t say no.”

“Please! If you fed a coma patient a lemon, she wouldn’t say it was sour either!”

“Well, you agreed.”

Cluru pouted and, as if reason had failed, extended her tentacles and wrapped me up tight.

She hugged me from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder.

“You’re mine now. It’s too late for regrets…”

Oh so now we’re settling arguments with brute force?!

“I never agreed!”

“You did.”

“I didn’t!”

“You did. I even asked if you’d have baby octopuses with me, and you said yes!”

“I did not!!!”

“……”

The black-clad men were drenched in cold sweat.

Kids these days… Is this what play-pretend has turned into?

Compared to what they’re doing, the way we played house as kids really was just playing house.

“No more delays. If we keep messing around, Captain Ishida will return… Move in! Use force!”

All seven summoned spirit beasts and launched a swift, coordinated attack.

“Back off!”

???

WTF?!

In a blur of whip shadows, the seven never even finished summoning—bodies flung backwards uncontrollably, sent flying toward the herb field on the back slope.

At the far end of the herb field was the spirit-beast latrine. 

Most spirit beasts didn’t use litter boxes; they took care of their business there. 

Their waste, once fermented, became prime natural fertilizer.

So Teacher Ishida had it collected and stored in colorful fermentation pools.

“Plop~”

“Plop~”

With heavy splashes, the seven unlucky guys landed precisely inside.

“What just happened?”

“We let our guard down…”

Even now, they had no idea how they got flung.

Each one had a whip mark across the face, complete with suction cup imprints.

“That girl in the box? Octopus spirit beast? But how can an octopus be this strong?! What the hell?!”

“Mission… failed…”

“What is this… melts in your mouth, surprisingly tasty…”

……

Meanwhile—

“I didn’t agree!”

“You did.”

“I didn’t!”

“You did.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

As Cluru and I kept arguing endlessly, we ran into a female enforcer on patrol.

“Enforcer lady… there are seven perverts… in the septic tank…”

For some reason, the enforcer’s eyes widened in shock, as if she’d heard something outrageous.

She didn’t ask further. As a good citizen, I had already reported the criminals. My civic duty was done.

Now I needed to have a serious talk with Cluru.

“I didn’t agree!”

“You did!”

“I didn’t…”

We argued the entire way.

Even when we reached Teacher Xiao Yuan’s front door, we were still going at it.

“No!”

“Yes!”

Teacher Xiao Yuan was jolted awake by our bickering.

“What are you two yelling about? It’s the middle of the night—go to sleep already…”

“No!”

“Yes!”

With a headache, Teacher Xiao Yuan grabbed both of us, dragged us onto the bed, and stripped us.

“No!”

“Yes!”

We were still glaring at each other, cheeks puffed out, totally oblivious to the fact that our clothes had been stripped off.

“Go to sleep!!”

Teacher Xiao Yuan, exhausted, stuffed Cluru and me under the covers.

Soon, muffled voices came from the blanket.

“I never agreed!”

“Yes you did!”

“……”

Teacher Xiao Yuan was in despair, covering her ears with a pillow.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No…”

……

The next morning, Teacher Xiao Yuan opened her eyes, bloodshot and red.

Her eyes were filled with fine capillaries—evidence of a night of sleepless torment.

Not far off, under the covers, two girls were fast asleep, drooling all over the pillow.

Their tiny mouths moved, murmuring incoherently: “Yes…”

“No…”

“Yes… it was yes… serves you right for being stubborn… stupid magical girl…”

“Even if you kill me… it’s still no… mmph! What are you doing—resorting to force again?! No—”

“Will you admit it?”

“Never! I’d rather die!”

“Serves you right! That’s what you get for being stubborn!”

“Ah! …Ah! …”

Just what kind of dreams are they having? 

Teacher Xiao Yuan wished she could crack their skulls open and take a look inside.

“Teacher Xiao Yuan—huh? Did you… go dark?”

On the way to the classroom building, Ishida was shocked to see Teacher Xiao Yuan’s bloodshot eyes.

“No, but I’m close… What is it?”

“Thank you for protecting those two girls last night.”

“Huh?” Xiao Yuan blinked, “If you mean how I thought about stabbing them both in the head a hundred times but didn’t actually do it… then yeah, sure.”

“Huh? You didn’t stop the elite squad from the Security Division?”

“I didn’t see any elite squad.”

“Oh, I see,” Ishida smiled instead, “Looks like I underestimated them after all, hahaha—”

Ishida burst into hearty laughter.

“Nutcase. What the hell.” Xiao Yuan was completely confused, “You’re all lunatics. Is there even one normal person around here? Ugh… I’m exhausted.”

Qingluan, save me. Brew me a cup of coffee.

Silently wailing, Teacher Xiao Yuan tried to summon her spirit beast, Qingluan, but Qingluan had also been up all night from the noise. 

It just let out two feeble coos and didn’t move again.

Pain. So much pain.

Even worse, when Teacher Xiao Yuan walked into the classroom, she saw a bunch of empty desks—not a single soul was present.

The little flame in her chest instantly flared up.

“Where is everyone? You’re all rebelling, huh?! It’s already 8:30, and not one person is in the classroom?! You think today’s a holiday?!”

“It is the weekend,” Ishida said, placing a hand on her forehead. “No fever… Chi Xiao Yuan, you seem a little off today.”

“……”

Chi Xiao Yuan—aka Teacher Xiao Yuan—sat on the podium and awkwardly covered her face.

“Sorry. It’s just been one thing after another lately. I couldn’t sleep last night. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.”

“What’s wrong?” Ishida sat beside her.

“Sigh… same old problem. College entrance rates.” Xiao Yuan gave a bitter smile. “Our school’s advancement rate has been rock bottom for years. Forget top universities—even third-tier colleges are rare.”

“Nothing you can do. The entrance bar for the Spirit Beast Division is too high. You need to pass academic exams, spirit beast theory, and your beast needs serious combat strength. Some colleges even require provincial-level gym badges.”

“Yeah,” Xiao Yuan nodded. “Yesterday, the Spirit Association gave us an ultimatum—if our college entrance stats don’t improve this year, they’ll revoke our accreditation…”

“…” Ishida sighed. “If they’re this impatient, someone’s probably pushing things from behind.”

“Yeah, my family’s always looked down on this job… and the Security Division—they’ve been trying to get you to return as an enforcer, haven’t they?”

Ishida lowered his head.

“I’m never going back,” he said heavily. “The Security Division has changed.”

.

Both fell into their own thoughts, silence hanging over the classroom.

Suddenly, Ishida chuckled.

Chi Xiao Yuan tilted her head at him.

“What if… our school produces a top scorer this year?”

“Pfft, yeah right. That’d solve all our problems in one go, huh? Sounds nice, but not gonna happen.”

“Don’t forget—we have the Qilin.”

“The Qilin?”

Chi Xiao Yuan’s face went pale.

She turned toward the dorm building, dazed. 

It was like she could see text bubbles floating out of the windows.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“……”

Her fist clenched with a loud crack as her blood pressure soared.

“Impossible! Absolutely impossible!”