My expression was a bit stiff.
The little one in my arms was crying so hard she could barely catch her breath. The snow-white dress, as pure as a Tianshan snow lotus, was soon covered in a mess of snot and tears.
“Why? Why do you want to give me to someone else?”
“I don’t want another mother.”
“I only want you…”
“You’re not allowed to push me onto other women, and you can’t find another mother for me.”
“And you definitely can’t give me away to anyone else.”
Xi Zhiruo had never felt so wronged.
She had been in a fairly good mood, immersed in the joy of helping her mother accomplish something significant. But then, she heard words that were nothing short of a bolt from the blue.
It turned out that what her mother had done last time was a premeditated sacrifice—she intended to give her to Su Liumeng as a daughter.
She felt incredibly wronged.
Absolutely devastated.
My arms were frozen in the air, unable to come down for a long time. The fabric on the front of my dress was gradually becoming soaked, making it difficult for me to remain calm.
This was a decision I had made long ago.
I never imagined my daughter would be this heartbroken.
I could only pat her back gently and offer a guarantee. “I didn’t want to give you to anyone else, and it’s even more impossible for me to find another mother for you.”
Xi Zhiruo raised her head, her eyes brimming with tears as she hiccuped and questioned me with a grievance, “But you just said that… you said you were going to give me to Su Liumeng…”
“I was just worried that after I leave, there would be no one to talk to you.” I let out a sigh. “I personally entrusted you to Su Liumeng because I hoped that when I’m not around, she could occasionally talk with you so you wouldn’t be so bored and lonely. I didn’t mean I was going to give you to her to be her daughter.”
“You are my daughter. Why would I give you to someone else?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I brushed the corners of her eyes with my thumb, watching the brilliant light gradually bloom in her eyes. I slowly leaned my head toward her.
The little girl didn’t hesitate for a second before she firmly wrapped her arms around my neck.
Zhizhi’s knuckles tightened. It was as if she feared that if she let go, she would be discarded in a desolate place where no one would ever respond.
“You’re not allowed to give me to anyone else.”
“Mm-hmm. I won’t. I won’t give you to anyone. You are Mama’s only good baby.”
“Mama promises you, okay?”
The little girl had her own way of thinking, and her mood finally recovered a great deal. Her small face, still stained with tears, bloomed with a sweet smile.
“Okay.” She let out a brilliant smile while still pouting slightly. Residual unhappiness and complaints lingered as she obediently lowered her head to let her mother wipe away the tears.
“How did you become such a crybaby?” I teased, flicking her slightly red nose.
Xi Zhiruo burrowed into my chest, too embarrassed to let anyone else see her like this—especially with that bad woman watching.
“It’s because Mama spoiled me,” she hummed softly. “I can still act spoiled, you know…”
“Yes, yes, my Zhizhi is the best at acting spoiled.” I patted her back affectionately, and my gaze happened to meet Su Liumeng’s.
The young woman smiled and met my eyes, nodding seriously.
At this, the last heavy stone in my heart finally fell.
Su Liumeng understood all my worries and knew the obsession I could not let go of in this life. Once she made a promise, she would definitely keep it.
I patted my daughter’s back, humming a lullaby that only she could understand. The surroundings gradually grew quiet. Only the bell-like voice of the young woman and the soft, slurred sleep-talking of the little girl could be heard.
Su Liumeng lightened her footsteps and walked slowly to my side. She looked down at me as I sat holding my daughter and naturally began to massage my shoulders. “Should we put her on the bed?”
I narrowed my eyes slightly, enjoying her perfect service.
“No need.”
“She’s not heavy yet. If I don’t hold her now, I won’t be able to hold her later.”
Su Liumeng’s heart tightened, but she was met with my brilliant smile.
‘Xinyan. Has she completely come to terms with it?’
Su Liumeng still couldn’t accept it, yet the person involved had accepted it first. Her young girl should have been carefree, but under the blows of reality, she was forced to mature again and again.
The heartache Su Liumeng felt was something only she understood… It was the heartache of watching her be forced to grow up time and again. Watching her go from an innocent, hot-blooded youth to a mother who could now calmly accept her own death.
“Mhm.” I took Su Liumeng’s hand and pressed my slightly smaller palm against hers. In the rhythm of her heavy heartbeat, I laced our fingers together. “After the events of these past one or two days, I’ve come to terms with a lot.”
“Who can live forever?”
“If death is a person’s destined destination, then the process I’ve experienced—meeting the most wonderful people with this ticket of life—has already made the trip worthwhile. Since that’s the case, what is there to complain about?”
“I can face life and death very calmly now.”
“Precisely because I know the endpoint of my life, I will cherish every moment I have now even more.”
“In this limited life, spending time with those I love most, every little bit makes me especially intoxicated.”
“I won’t waste my life anymore.”
“At least, before I leave, I won’t leave any regrets behind.”
“Life is finite, but love can be infinite.”
“I think… if one day I have to leave, as long as you all don’t forget me and still remember how I used to be, my life will have been worth it.”
I leaned toward the hand I was holding and gently kissed the back of it.
“I’m very grateful that you chose me.”
The moist kiss from the young woman made Su Liumeng’s heart tremble continuously. She suppressed her emotions and spoke with a raspy voice, “It hasn’t reached the final step yet. Who knows what the future will look like? Neither Xi Zhiruo nor I have given up. We will definitely save you from the Chaos Rules.”
I looked at Su Liumeng without saying anything for a long while.
The shallow smile on my lips made her inexplicably unable to look me in the eye. She turned her gaze away in a slightly disheveled manner.
“My daughter is naive, but why are you being naive too?”
“The rules established by the Creator have never been defied by anyone. And yet, you’re thinking about breaking the Chaos Rules.”
“Whether it can be done… don’t you and I already have the answer in our hearts?”
Su Liumeng remained silent for a moment before hugging me from the side.
“I will do my best to save you.”
The young woman’s voice was hoarse. She wanted to hug me tightly, yet she was afraid of hurting my delicate body.
“At least…”
“At least I’ll let you live for a few more years.”
Hearing this, I suddenly broke into an exceptionally happy smile.
“All right.”
“If I can live for another one or two years, I’ll already be very happy.”
“I was worried just now that I wouldn’t live to the end of the Chaos Rules.”
“A person must not have too many expectations.”
“Because as long as there is an expectation, there is a probability it will fall through.”
“When a person expects too much and finds they cannot realize it, they will be countless times more miserable than at any other time.”
“I’ve spent a long time accepting my current life.”
“If I keep holding onto expectations, only to meet death at the final moment…”
“Can you imagine the disappointment and regret in my heart?”
“If death is my final ending…”
“Please let me leave without any regrets.”
Su Liumeng’s eyes dimmed bit by bit.
I stared at the color in her eyes and slowly looked away with a pained heart.
Sorry, I can’t give you all too much trust.
Please let me be selfish this one last time.
I really cannot accept breaking down at the final moment of my life.
Su Liumeng and I were Dao companions who talked about everything. In our usual conversations, I preferred to be blunt. If it were my daughter questioning me to my face, I would have done what I did last time—smile and say I was willing to believe she could do anything.
Su Liumeng had already reined in her emotions and offered me a forced smile.
“It’s okay.”
“I will prove it to you.”
“Even the Chaos Rules are not invincible.”
I stared blankly for a moment.
“You aren’t a being born in Chaos. You don’t understand the nature of Chaos at all—”
Su Liumeng interrupted me rather domineeringly.
Well, she used a different method.
She firmly pressed the back of my head, leaving me only able to shake my head and make muffled sounds.
“Do you still want to say such cynical things?”
“Who allowed you to say my wife is going to die?”
Listening to Su Liumeng’s incredibly domineering telepathic message, the expression in my beautiful eyes gradually grew dazed.
‘Can you stop kissing me…?’
‘I’ll believe you, okay?’
Su Liumeng looked at the young woman’s reddened lips and wiped her own.
Whether I believed her or not, Su Liumeng was the person who understood best. And who was the one acting as stubborn as a donkey every day?
If you don’t believe me, that’s fine.
Just wait for the day she blasts Chaos into pieces.
She didn’t believe that on that day, her stubborn baby still wouldn’t change her tune.
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